It was the several moments silence which truly broke Sherlock's heart. Not the words spoken, well, shouted, whilst the two men raged at one another in the front room. Not the tense, angry glares which lead up to the almost screaming. Not even the disagreement which had triggered the glaring. It was the silence. The several moments of it which fell over the room once they had both stopped firing vicious, hurtful words at the other. It was a signal that all had been said and done. That the anger had dissipated and they had both said their piece and now all they wanted was to forget the whole sorry affair. Except, it wasn't, and that was why Sherlock's insides felt like they were being crushed the moment it arrived.

He knew what it truly signalled; knew what the silence truly meant. It meant John had given up. Finally, after months and months of complete and utter agony, he'd snapped. He hadn't finished being angry, hadn't said all he wanted to, he'd just not got enough energy to even try and make Sherlock listen to him anymore.

That hurt. Really fucking hurt, and as much as Sherlock knew that it was his fault, he didn't have any right to feel hurt, it still felt like a punch in the gut.

He'd broken John. Broken him down into this tired, flat version of his former self. A man with pain behind his eyes and a slumped posture because he no longer had the energy to even stand upright. He'd broken the strongest man he'd ever known; the proud, loyal soldier he'd fallen in love with and it hurt.

He wished it didn't. He wished he was as cold and as heartless as John gave him credit for, but he wasn't. Sherlock was a ball of stupid emotion and stupid feelings and, God, this was a mess.

As they both stood, drawing in terse, ragged breaths and never losing eye contact, Sherlock wished, not for the first time, that he'd never opened his mouth and uttered those fateful words.

The silence seemed to go for an eternity, and then, John sighed.

'I... I don't even know what to do anymore, Sherlock.'


So... short, I know, but hey - at least the updates will be quicker (I hope!). If it wasn't clear, the chapter titles are the time at which the chapter takes place (this is quite important further on). Thanks for reading, reviews are greatly appreciated! ~sher_lochnessmonster xo