(Disclaimer: Haha... it's mine. All mine! pouts Okay, fine - it's not. Leave me alone.)
(Note: Before someone asks me - I am not trying to spam ff net It might seem like I am - but I just have a backlog of fics that were never posted to this account. And this is a strange, strange piece - be warned.)
"... Women are bitches, Detective, don't you agree?"
I look up at the suspect sitting across the table from me. "Is that a confession?" I ask. We've pulled this guy into the box - someone's convinced he murdered his wife.
The younger man grins, shaking his head. "You look like a man who's paid alimony to a woman or two."
"Try four," I answer, pretending to complain. If I sympathize with him, it might work.
"Four? Who did you piss off, man?"
I shrug. "Apparently, a group of divorce lawyers in Baltimore."
"Bitches, man. Whine and complain. iNever/i shut up. Why bother raising such a fuss about getting married if you're gonna complain the whole goddamn time?"
"Perfectly logical point, my friend." I've almost got him, now. He's going to keep talking himself right into a hole. "Why bother?"
"Sometimes, you just wanna shut them the hell up. Peace and quiet. It's not like you're getting anything out of them talking, anyway. They don't say anything unless it's something they want to whine about. Too much of that... they wonder why they're single."
"Women are whiney bitches - we've established this point. So, tell me - did you shut your wife up? Stop her complaining?"
"She had it coming - stupid whiney bitches, the bunch of them. Complain, complain, complain... it's too much. They can't just take what they've got and live with it - there's always something to bitch about."
"She had it coming, did she?"
"Damn right."
"No - that's actually wrong. The law doesn't let you kill anyone, no matter how annoying they are. And I think I'd rather go spend time with my former wives than be in a room with you."
The look of panic on the guy's face - got him. He knows he's out of luck, now.
"You don't agree with me, Detective? Don't think they've got it coming to them?"
"No. Because, you know, kid - some of us actually grew up. Women aren't quite so annoying once you hit puberty."
"Lemme guess. You've got a woman at home, don't you? Bitch probably doesn't know her place, does she? Wants to be an equal - wants to complain about everything, like she has a right to make decisions. You've never wanted to shut her up?"
"I don't think that way - some of us actually see the opposite sex as human beings. And if I ever tried to "shut up" the woman in my life the way you're describing it, I'd get my ass bounced to Jersey and back."
"Your girl can kick your ass?" The ignorant little punk stares at me in disbelief. "Man, that's wrong."
"Maybe not." We both look up as Olivia speaks from the doorway. "Because you know, Mick - men like you could use your asses kicked, now and then - it might give you a wake-up call for a few seconds." She nods to me, unnoticed by the pain-in-the-ass in the chair and I follow her out.
"I thought I'd better get your attention before you strangled him or something," She comments, watching through the two-way glass. "You know the scary part? There are more just like him."
"And he's squirming now. Look at him." I shake my head.
Olivia smirks, slightly. "He hasn't hung himself yet - but I think he's going to."
"If I ever turn out anything like our friend Mick in there..."
"Kick your ass? Deal." She glances over at me. "But I really don't think you could ever be so annoying as that jackass."
"You sure you don't want a go at him?"
"No," she answers, flatly. "Is he even worth the time?"
"The DA thinks so," I say, reaching for the door to see how much deeper this guy can bury himself.
