Hey everyone! Here's a fic on Assassination Classroom! Enjoy.
It was against a sea of crimson, when it happened.
I had just recovered from having the wind knocked out of me in the shed the previous day, and the rising smoke from the battlefield made it hard to breathe. Amidst the raging shrieks, struggling cries and whipping of tentacles, I remembered my mind racing as we collectively struggled to find a solution. A solution that would save his life, and hers.
"Play your air guitar!"
"Are you nuts?! She'd focus her killing intent on me!"
"There must be something!"
There had to be… but what could?
The clock was ticking fast, and a sense of dread steadily crawled up my back as I found each and every technique available to me coming to a dead end. Nothing I knew would be able to draw her attention away, not while the object of her hatred stood before her at her mercy. Bile rose to my throat and hopelessness began to sink in, with the realisation that the skills I had would only fuel her bloodlust. That I couldn't do anything about it.
I felt like I had been thrown back to the day when I was told I was to become a member of class 3-E. From an assassin, I had returned to a failed student because I just wasn't good enough to solve the situation before me.
Is this the extent of what I've learned?
The roar of battle swelled, and the flames rose as Kayano's rage reached its peak, her attempts at Koro-sensei's heart growing ever more frantic. Her eyes, nearly bulging out of her head, had gone totally dark while her jaws opened even further to release a deafening screech of fury. She picked up her impossible pace even further, with every attempted strike of her tentacles causing a thunderous crack that left our ears ringing; it was loud enough to rival the sound of a heavy sniper rifle firing next to one's head. Even the flames seemed to respond to her bloodlust, rising and roiling even higher than before as she continued her onslaught, with each missed blow seemingly inching closer to its mark than before. Not even Koro-sensei, the superhuman being who could move at Mach 20, could take his eyes off her now if he wanted to live.
She looked like a rage demon straight out of the ninth level of hell, a hidden final boss that rose after you thought you were safe. And we needed to stop her without harming her. But what could we do? We were assassins, trained to kill, not stop someone from killing. Furthermore, what I knew could only redirect someone's bloodlust, but now I was faced with the impossible task to disengage it. With such an intense hatred and lust for vengeance, what tactic could possibly make her forget her emotions for a moment?
And that was when it hit me.
To forget an emotion, one simply has to replace it with something of equal or greater intensity.
Just like how Bitch-sensei could forget her ire with just a choice word from Karasuma-sensei. Like how Koro-sensei could be made to leave his depressed state by hurling a few petty insults to get under his skin. It was almost similar to the clap-stunner in that respect.
I simply had to overrun her by doing something completely different. Then, we would have our chance to strike.
And just as I had finished my moment of realisation, Kayano's blades found her mark and Koro-sensei sprung his trap.
"If any of you has an idea, do it now!" he ordered.
It was unnerving, leaving the safety of my classmates to stare her down. For the first time since the insanity of the battle began, her crazed eyes were focused on something else as she struggled to break free – the something else being me. Her intense bloodlust hit me like a bullet, and I sensed the true scale of her messed up wavelength as she glared at me in full psycho-predator mode. I fought the urge to collapse. Then, I took a step forward with my fists clenched.
This was an assassination. If I was to be able to kill her, I had to match her bloodlust with mine. However, restrained and with a countdown to her own life, she would be on guard against me in a matter of moments. I had only a small window to actually distract her. And so, I poured my bloodlust into them, and raised my empty palms to my sides.
Her side-wards glance to scan my hands for weapons was all I needed.
With one swift motion, I planted my lips firmly on hers and began replicating the motions of our Bitch-sensei that left me stunned all those months ago.
Bitch-sensei was a walking honey trap, and her being a pro-assassin meant her actions – no matter how sultry and provocative – had no real emotions attached to them. In fact, what made her a true pro was that her actions were so convincing, that her targets believed those emotions existed while she remained solidly unattached even after all was said and done. In all her lessons to us, this was the one thing she embodied. But all pros would meet their end, it was only a matter of when. Bitch-sensei met hers when she came to our class, when she met us and Karasuma-sensei. She fell into the trap of emotional attachment long after she started the game. In that sense, she was still a pro.
I however, was no such pro.
In the boiling heat of the fires and with the threat of death – his, hers and mine – looming over me, there was no time to attach emotions to my actions. In that instance, my lips and tongue were my weapons, their motions my strategy, and her sensual overload my goal. I would go further and say that there was nothing even remotely romantic or even sexual about it; not when our lives were at stake and the heat of battle tingled on the surface of my skin.
It was a move full of bloodlust, channelled via an unorthodox means for a wholesome goal. It had no other intentions.
So why is it now, that when I lay on my bed at the end of the day I could never forget, the day where my life at 3-E officially ended, that I grew attached to the one action I had believed had no further meaning?
They say that girls will never forget their first kiss. For girls, a first kiss was a sacred experience. It was a gift, a moment meant only to be shared with a special person as an expression of true affection. It was a milestone, something that symbolised and crystallised the transitional point of a relationship between two people, from friends to lovers. In every romantic tale I've been a part of, such were the tropes surrounding the act. Two characters, two strangers would grow closer over time. But before they ever kissed, one could still loosely define them as friends. In the eyes of many an audience, the only way to truly define a romantic relationship, was a kiss. Of course, I never truly kissed anyone on screen; I was still underage and my employers were respectful of that.
Nonetheless, I had looked forward to having my own experience. Regardless of how the acting industry may dull one to gestures, it was still something I held onto as something I needed to treasure.
I would eventually receive my wish in my final year of middle school. There were even pictures taken of it, which wormed their way into my personal graduation album courtesy of a red-headed devil, a blonde prankster and one highly infuriating yellow octopus.
But the greatest shame of all, is that I can barely remember it now. I knew it happened, but I can only vaguely recall how it felt. I remembered being overwhelmed by my surprise and actually enjoying it, but after I woke from my coma, all that remained was a faint ghost of the sensations that I experienced. The fact that I found out in full clarity how I was stopped from my rampage only after everyone else knew made it worse.
But the worst part of it all, was having live with that knowledge. After that, I could never look him in the eye properly. Knowing how he risked his life, how devoted he was to the wishes of the class, how much he loved our teacher; I found myself coming to truly respecting and liking him as a person. His gentle nature and calm determination against the odds merely made my infatuation grow.
It was strange. In the early months, he was merely a tool, a convenient mask for me to use. After all, Kayano Kaede was a kind, behind-the-scenes girl drawn to kind, behind-the-scenes boys. She was to be a supporting character of their story: seen, but not well remembered. Known, but not well-defined. Good, but not talented. And just to perfect the lie, throw in some flaws that were grounded in truth: her insecurity about her chest, and weakness for pudding. And thus, Kayano Kaede was born and became one of Shiota Nagisa's closer friends.
Then, as time progressed and he made himself increasingly prominent among Class 3-E, I became increasingly intrigued. Here he was, honing his bloodlust and killing intent in broad daylight, while I nursed mine in the shadows. While I certainly didn't mind him becoming an even better mask – who would pay attention to the supportive girl who didn't seem to shine in assassination? – I couldn't help but wonder. A regular boy wasn't simply born with a talent to kill just like how Yukimura Akari wasn't born with a thirst for calculated vengeance. Something had happened to this boy that would let him possess such potential.
And so, I observed. To not only perfect my character, but to sate my curiosity. After all, having something else to focus my attention on made it easier to cope with the searing pain in my neck. I stayed near him, studied with him, practiced with him. I participated in one event after another, immersing myself as how Kayano Kaede would next to him. I even let her take a day in the limelight just so she would uphold the support part of her character. Yukimura Akari took a backseat, watching and studying the events as they went by, nursing her rage to a razor edge as she waited for the perfect time to strike.
Time passed, and the deadline grew steadily closer. As I expected, each assassination attempt failed one after another. The class had good means to put Koro-sensei on the spot, and even accessed several weaknesses. However, they lacked something crucial, a weapon with enough of an edge against him. Try as they might, they simply just weren't fast enough to fight evenly with him. Assassins may be able to win against more powerful opponents, but there was a limit to how large the power gap could be allowed; something that truly hit home when we faced the "God of Death". With that in mind, it seemed that Yukimura Akari's biding time was near an end.
But there was something else that spurred my actions. Kayano Kaede may have been a character, but there was a shred of truth to her. Her fears and insecurities, her quirks and preferences were all derived from myself, Yukimura Akari. Thus in every event in Class 3-E, a part of myself, my real self, was also involved. I marvelled at the prowess of Karasuma-sensei and Bitch-sensei, I resented the emotional abuse from the main-campus goons, I revelled in the thrill of free-running and survival games, I rejoiced in achieving good grades and I relaxed with the idle chit-chat with him and the others. I was a killer, I was sharpening my blades and biding my time, but I also got to be a teenager.
As the experiences poured in, as Kayano Kaede found herself enjoying her life in Class 3-E, I, Yukimura Akari got sucked in too. The worst part was, my target showed increasing signs of being a genuinely good being. And it terrified me. Which was why I needed to spring into action. I couldn't let myself forget the treachery committed by that slimy octopus. He had to pay, and he would taste the full extent of my fury. Yukimura Akari's diffused bloodlust was nursed back in full force, and I unleashed myself against my target.
But even at my best, I was trounced by the shy boy that I used as a mask. The one whom I deemed to be just like the others, unable to kill Koro-sensei. With one innocuous move, he bested me completely and left me stripped of my trump cards and my reason for vengeance.
With the knowledge of what truly happened that day, Yukimura Akari's focus was gone. Whatever I had built up in that timespan, was now without meaning and trajectory. My body would recover, but now I was faced with a problem. Who was I, now that my resolve was gone? Yukimura Akari had spent a better portion of a year being nothing but a ball of concentrated hatred in the shadows, while Kayano Kaede was merely a composite cover for daytime activity. Neither existed in full during all the time spent in Class 3-E.
And without even meaning to, Shiota Nagisa helped me answer that question. His constant visits and care while I was recovering, his wish for the time we spent together to not be a lie, made me decide that perhaps embracing my composite nature wasn't a bad idea. I couldn't deny that I wanted what he wanted too; for everything to be real. And without the pain of the tentacles to cloud my senses, it seemed almost peaceful to simply become the mask. I would be crazy to let go of a place which honestly made me enjoy life once again.
Plus, I really, really couldn't get over the fact that I shared my first kiss with him and liked it. Even if I cannot remember what it really felt like, I couldn't ignore the want to feel it again.
Was this what they meant by not being able to forget? If so, then I'm still a normal girl then.
Geh, like I can truly say that. Nothing in my life experience can be even remotely normal.
But I couldn't let my affections rob him of his goals. My vengeance had already eaten up so much of my life, I couldn't let my emotions rob the goals of another. Which was why I backed down that Valentine's Day. He already had a target in mind, and it wasn't going to be me.
But, on the day when my life-changing year in 3-E ended, his target disappeared forever.
While my sister was alive, my target was her. She was kind, beautiful, and talented. She pursued her target with passion, which led her to become a teacher. Even her bastard of a husband didn't stop her from giving her all to what she did, from loving the life she led.
Then one day, she disappeared.
It was as if my world had shifted off-centre. For me, I had no one to reach out to, and it led me to bearing the pain of the tentacles for over a year. To drowning in my hatred and misguided fury. I had to consider myself fortunate, because I still had the construct of Class 3-E to save me from falling off the deep end. But now, with everyone officially graduated and heading home to face a new future, he had no such luxury.
Which was why, even if I wasn't his target, I couldn't leave him behind. Time would march on, and he needed people beside him to that his grief didn't overtake him.
Thus, as I began to wind down for the night, I made a note to see him as soon as I could, infatuation or not. After all, Kayano Kaede was a kind, behind-the-scenes girl, who supported her friends when they needed it.
And there we go. A quick flash of inspiration as I finished Season 2 of Assassination Classroom. A little rushed, but I hope you enjoy it. Do leave a review and let me know what you think!
Thegoh
