Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, no matter how much she would love to own at least Edward. No copyright infringement is intended.
*Epov*
-:-
Thus with a fish, I cry
-:-
My goldfish died last night.
Too bad for him, bacause if he had died two weeks ago, he would have died a 'Hero' instead of a '420'. Over the years I had given him dozens of names, 420 being the latest. It had seemed only fitting because sometimes he would just hang there in the water with a look in his eyes like his life was pure fucking bliss. I had always envied him but I also figured that if he could be happy with nothing but water, dried insects and a lame plastic pirate chest, then the little shit deserved his happiness. And he had been a very, very happy goldfish. Being a fish he never actually told me so, nor did he smile or frolic or shit, but I knew.
Just yesterday morning he had seemed fine, all fins and bubbles and swimming through stuff. I even thought about buying him a hoop. But out of the blue, last night when I came home he was swimming on his side. His little body all arched over and pathetic looking, some scales flaking off him and desperately gasping for… well for water. Dying was embarrassing for a fish I tell you that. I almost took him out of the water to just get it over with already. No, I didn't envy him then.
And now he was dead.
God damn.
I envied him now.
What did people do with a dead goldfish? I considered whether or not it would be disrespectful to just flush him down the toilet. Fuck Edward, what else? Bury it? Call its relatives? Hold a eulogy? He was a good fish, swam a lot... So... thanks for coming.
Still, I wasn't an idiot so I wouldn't simply flush him and leave it at that. Why waste this perfect opportunity to deposit him in Rose's lunchbox this afternoon instead? Yes that was a far better idea, she was going to throw a tantrum. Today our school would get dinner and a show.
I almost decided against the whole idea when I realized I had to get his slimy little dead body out of the tank first and keep it with me somewhere, until noon. But the image of Rose jumping up and down and going all ape shit on me in front of the entire cafeteria was too priceless to pass up. So I went downstairs to get one of those plastic kitchen containers my mom normally used for keeping leftover tofu and miso-soup and shit and who knows, with the way she cooked maybe some fish corpses of her own. I made my way back to my room and scooped 420 up. I make it sound pretty damn smooth now, but the reality was that I first stumbled over Alice's shoes she'd left on the bottom of the stairs, making me worry about one day having to explain why exactly I broke my ankles on stiletto's. Next, I banged my head against my door. My stationary door. And then it took me over twenty scoops and even more expletives, until I just sighed in frustration and picked the fish up by its tail with my free hand. Disgusting, yes. And I didn't exactly have time for an extensive hand washing either, so after I put him in the box and closed the lid, I just wiped my hand on my pants and made a mental note not to bite any nails before I had washed them properly. Outside, I heard a car honk impatiently.
Oh please.
I quickly put 420 in my backpack and heaved it over my shoulder. In the kitchen I grabbed a sandwich from the counter and hasted outside. When I got to the driveway I found my car was already at the end of the lane, slowly driving away from the house. "Hurry or we're leaving without you emo-boy!" Emmett yelled out the window of the Volvo. My dad had all the money in the whole damn world and what did he get me? A fucking mom car. When I pointed out the obvious difference between my car and Alice's Porsche to him, all he had said was: "Forget it Edward, you drive like me."
Emmett, along with his devious smile was occupying the driver's seat and obviously felt the need to honk at me some more.
"Im fwckng here awheady awswhle!" I took the sandwich out of my mouth to finish that sentence and my irritation increased tenfold when I realized exactly where the hand holding my breakfast had been just now. "Enough with the honking already, I get it; You're a neurotic douche bag. Now get out of my seat! No way you're driving." I loved my brother -sorry; adoptive brother- to pieces but there's no such thing, as someone other than me touching this steering wheel. It may be a mom car, but it's mine. Emmett knew better than to challenge me on this so he got out of my way to sit in the seat next to mine. Not because I could take him, not in a million years. Hell, he could take on anybody in this town using just his pinky. Literally. That Newton kid never knew what hit him. No guy dared to even so much as talk to Rosalie since then.
"Hey sis!" Emmett goofed at me in a high-pitched voice, pretending to twirl a lock of his hair around his finger. Pretending, because you can't exactly twirl hair as short as his. "How are you this morning?"
I ignored the adolescent baby while I started up the car and instead, I looked at Alice through my rearview mirror. Because she was being uncharacteristically quiet in the backseat, fumbling absently with her shoe straps. Usually there's no need for coffee in the morning when you're driving to school with Alice Cullen. She's like caffeine in Prada. Bouncing up and down the place and making you wish for ear plugs or sedatives or some herbal fucking tea, just to take the edge off the enthusiasm a bit before you overdose.
"Morning Ali," I said softly. You should know that, although I am a classic case of dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde, -mostly just Hyde- my sister is the only person in the world who always gets the good doctor Jekyll. I'd take a bullet for that pixie. Hell, I'd take a missile.
Her head snapped up and she looked a bit taken aback when she met my gaze in the mirror. Like I had caught her doing something she shouldn't be. Wait, had she been crying? She looked away pretty quickly but I had seen enough. Something was going on behind those big green, puffy, red-shot eyes of hers and it wasn't good. She didn't look like she wanted to elaborate, but I tried anyway. I had to, I couldn't bear to see my sister sad like that.
"Hey, you okay?"
It took her a moment, but then she gave me a slight nod and a puny smile that was about as reassuring as someone telling you that the freaking tiger in your bedroom -despite the arm hanging from it's muzzle- hardly ever ate people. I quirked an 'oh-yeah-right' eyebrow at her and she sighed in defeat.
"Later," she mouthed silently and threw a meaningful glance at Emmett.
Unwilling to give it a rest, I kept staring at her because I was now starting to get fucking worried. But she pleaded me with her eyes not to have this conversation in front of Emmett, until I finally decided I wasn't going to push it. For now.
Rolling into the parking lot of the glory that was Forks high, I immediately spotted a new car parked in our usual spot and I nearly winced at the sight. Not so much because everybody here knew better than to claim Cullen territory as their own, but because it was an abomination. An obscenity. This car made every other car feel better about itself. The elephant man of cars. A truck; old, rusty, red... -ish and just, but-ugly. I suddenly felt a whole newfound respect for my Volvo. I'd crawl to school before driving that excuse for a vehicle.
"Hey, I dreamt about this!" Alice exclaimed out of nowhere, making me do that wince after all when she tapped my shoulder from behind me with her usual enthusiasm. She was suddenly coming back to life. After parking my car next to the abominable pick up truck, I turned to face her with a skeptical look on my face. She rolled her eyes at that and just continued ranting.
"Oh don't give me that look! Really Edward, I saw that car in one of my dreams! You were there too... Yes you, and... agh," she groaned and looked at me intently, running a frustrated hand through her spikey black hair, obviously trying very hard to remember something. First she looked concentrated, mumbling something to herself with her brow slightly furrowed. Then she looked puzzled and next, her eyes got wide and her entire face lit up like a Christmas tree. She giggled. Freaking giggled like a twelve year old.
"What?" I asked, curious to the reason of her sudden mood swing.
Whatever it was, I was relieved to see her smiling and bouncy again. She just gave me a knowing look and winked. Well, she didn't exactly wink. Alice had this way of blinking both eyes simultaneously, but with the feel of a wink. The truth was, she couldn't blink one eye at a time, and I don't think she even realized it. But she always looked so damn cute messing up the entire gesture that nobody, not even Rose, had ever felt the need to correct her.
"I'm not completely sure yet…" she hesitated. "But it's good. You'll see, brother dear," she said with a smug grin plastered to her face.
Oh God not this again.
I tried to filter as much frustration as possible out of my voice when I said, "Ali, you're not really psychic you know?"
Sure, she had had a few, okay -a lot of lucky guesses in the past but psychic? No way.
She just nodded condescendingly. "Sure Edward. Remind me to tell you that, the next time you ask me to come to the casino with you."
Then she gave me another one of those winks and a sincere, beaming smile to melt my heart with. That smile would melt anything. Nobody on the Titanic had had a smile like that or that iceberg wouldn't have had a chance. Before I could respond to any of it she planted a small kiss on my nose, gave Emmett a good rub through his hair and then bolted out of the car to go to class. She had a way of leaving people bowled over. A crazy girl, my sister.
Yeah. I'd take that missile with a smile on my face.
"Dude, who's in our spot?" Emmett, who had been engrossed by his i-phone up to this point snapped me out of my musings and motioned his head at the monstrosity occupying our parking space. "So they finally made it into a car cemetery now, huh?" he scoffed.
Until lunch, the day had been quite uneventful. I made my way over to 'our' table to find my best friend already there, eating his lunch alone. Which was weird because normally he always came in with Ali. Those two had been like attached at the hip for five years. I initially didn't like it when they hooked up. I don't share well. But I finally decided that, if anyone was good enough for my sister, it would be him; Jasper Hale.
He'd been my best friend ever since me and Alice first came to live in Forks eleven years ago. Tyler Crowley had taken Alice's gym shoes from her and when I then flipped and beat the guy to a pulp over it, Jasper held him down for me. Instantly in sync. Of course, we both had to undergo quite a few psychological tests after that. Apparently this wasn't 'normal seven year old behavior'. But I didn't care, and neither did Jazz. Anything for Alice.
"Hey there Goldielocks!" I snickered and I swung my backpack over his head, to land it on the opposite side of the table where I took my seat. "Where's Ali?"
He hesitated for a second, but then motioned his head over to the unstable-table. 'Where the sluts gather'. Yes, that Emmett is quite the poet.
I looked over there and found them all in their usual places. In the middle was the pack leader; Tanya Denali. She had been following me around like a puppy, a very horny puppy, for three years now, who never relented even though I never even kissed her and I wasn't planning on it either. She was a bombshell I'll give her that. Nothing out of place, perfectly proportioned. But the whole being-easier-than-a-four-piece-puzzle (which she herself could probably never solve) was all the turnoff I needed to reject her. 'Oblivious' her parents should have named her. Oblivious Denial.
Then on Tanya's left was Lauren Mallory. A.k.a. Lauren Celery due to her unwomanly non-curves. We actually called her Lauren Salary, because she was such a sucker for money. The more you had of it, the more likely you were to end up having sex with her after a night of too much alcohol consumption. Emmett and I could both attest to that. Yeah, it wasn't something I was proud of or anything, but I couldn't exactly give a flying shit either. Nor could Emmett, but he never dwelled on anything. Besides, him and Rose had been together for a year and a half now, so all of his sexcapades from before then had been long forgotten.
And last but least, on Tanya's right sat Jessica. Jessica wax-that-moustache Stanley. Worst blowjob I ever had. Traumatic. I'd put my cock in a piranha tank before I'd ever let her do that again. Yes, piranhas were a way more attractive prospect. Smarter, better smelling... Less toothy.
Across from Jessica, with her back turned to us was Angela Weber. I didn't get that girl. She really seemed nice, likea good girl. Pretty instead of slutty and with a functioning brain no less. There were actual neurons firing away in there. She solely raised the average IQ on that table by fifty points. Not that that's saying a lot. Maybe she was just too nice. Too nice to see straight through those skanks. Or maybe just too nice to judge them. But despite Angela's presence, I didn't like it one bit to see my sister over there talking to the town sluts. She never did that before and I feared that maybe, all the airheadedness would rub off on her. Angela seemed immune to that shit but Alice was always pretty damn impressionable. I turned back to Jazz with my eyebrows furrowed. "What's she doing talking to Manley?"
I think I saw a flash of something like hurt or regret in his eyes, before he shrugged and answered, "Beats me," and moved on to look over at Alice himself. Wishfully. When she caught his stare they both seemed startled and both of them quickly averted their gaze. Alice nudged Jessica and started talking to her, while Jasper started rubbing his neck as he looked down at his free hand for no particular reason other than not having to look at her, or me. And it pissed me off.
"What's going on with you two?" I hissed. "Ali was acting all weird this morning in the car, and now this..." I moved my hand up in down in his direction and then in Alice's, pointing out how 'without-each other' they were. "…ignoring each other? Really? What the fuck's going on Jazz?" I started to involuntarily tap my foot under the table. Because something was up with my sister and I never handled shit like that very well.
He snapped his head in my direction and gave me an ice cold stare which I returned with equal intensity. "Let it go Edward," he said calmly, sounding pretty damn scary.
Son of a bitch, this guy could look intimidating if he really wanted to. I didn't know how he pulled that off. One minute he's looking all Disney-like with the blond curls and the Bambi eyes but I'm telling you, right now he looked like he could –and would- kill off an entire army singlehandedly if I continued with the third degree. So of course I did. Because he knew better than to keep secrets from me. We never pulled shit like that with each other. He was like my dear damn diary and I was his. No secrets.
"No way I'm letting this go and you know it. So start talking," I sneered without breaking eye contact. Because I could look pretty intimidating myself, thank you very much.
My eyes told him to 'spill it, or else.' At least that was the sentiment I was going for. His clearly told me to 'back the fuck off.' No way I was misinterpreting that one. We were staring each other down now, both equally determined and relentless and feeling like John Wayne. But one of us was going to crumble eventually and we both knew it. That's just the way the world works. But there was no way of telling which one of us it was going to be. And now we would never know, because someone chose that moment to sit her butt down on our table.
"So… What are you girls talking about?"
Leave it to Rosalie to ruin a perfectly good stare-off. She made a show out of joining our table and sitting down, making sure all the guys in the cafeteria were alerted to her presence, and to the absence of skirt-fabric. Nobody openly stared at her of course, being pulverized by Emmett was a less than tempting vision of anyone's future. But they looked at her alright. They always did, and she knew it. Neither of us acknowledged her yet so, allergic to being out of the spotlight, she continued.
"Sorry am I interrupting something romantic here?" she asked looking at Jasper, pointing from him to me.
Jasper took a deep breath before he looked away from me and up at his sister. Technically I had now won our little staring contest, but winning like that sucked big time so I decided on a draw.
"Hey Rosie. How did that test go?" he asked with sincere interest. She beamed at him and started talking about how her lab-partner totally screwed up with the slides and bla bla bla.
I will admit that whenever Rosalie talked to Jazz she was different. Childlike. Sometimes she even laughed. She almost seemed human, like the rest of us. Almost. And it almost made me forget about the whole putting-a-fish-in-her-lunchbox plan.
Almost.
I checked to see if she was distracted enough to not notice and when I was confident that she was, I discretely lifted the container with 420 in it from my backpack, while my eyes stayed focused on her face in case she looked at me, which she didn't. The lunchbox was behind her and she had already started eating her lunch somewhere during her monologue, so now it stood there opened up and ready to receive my late pet. Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on Emmett sneaking up behind me, who unfortunately hadn't counted on the dead fish I was about to drop in the lunchbox belonging to his girlfriend, who unfortunately hadn't counted on that same fish flying through the air and landing right in her lap with a loud 'splat!' when Emmett jumped on my back.
Of course, when I say 'unfortunately', what I really mean is 'brilliantly'.
Yelling, screaming, hyperventilating and full on hysterics followed. Within seconds the entire cafeteria was looking at Rose, yelling at Emmett to 'get it the fuck off'. Well, she certainly got the attention she always craved. And then some. I would not have missed this for the world. I was laughing my ass off and looked over to where Alice was sitting. I don't know why I did that, because she never enjoyed Rose's tantrums like I did. Rose was a friend of hers. But at the same time, we always ended up laughing when she fought me on this silent war that raged between me and Rose, and I loved it when she laughed. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the main reason why I provoked Rose most of the time; hearing Alice laugh. You know, 'subconsciously' or whatever they call that shit.
However this time around Alice appeared to be too distracted to pay attention to Rosalie's outburst. By a dog no less. Well, 'dog'… That was no dog. It was a beast. A hellhound. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be a damn wolf. That thing looked like it could kill a lion if it really wanted to. Probably some sort of Shepherd mix. You know, half Shepherd, half Antichrist.
It seemed friendly enough though, and it wore a harness that said: 'Do not pet me I am working.' So of course Alice was petting away at cute and cuddly Cujo there, like there was no tomorrow. Fortunately the dog didn't seem too distracted by it and he remained firmly in place, lying next to a girl I couldn't really place. He never took his eyes off her, not even to blink. Completely absorbed in his owner, like he was a magpie and she was something sparkly.
She was sitting right next to Weber so all I saw was the back of her, which consisted of long brown curls, longer brown curls and some more long brown curls and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. I think you could even bounce paper money off of that baby. Who was she? I'd remember an ass like that. She must be that girl Chief Swan took in. I heard something about her, come to think of it. Wasn't she some sort of basket case? I snorted when I realized that she dressed like the Chief already. With the lumberjack blouses and the hiking boots. Boy was she sitting at the wrong table. And what was with the mutt?
"Who. Did. That?" Rosalie spat, reclaiming my immediate attention. Hell, everyone's attention evidently, because all of a sudden the place had gotten eerily quiet.
She was positively fuming, taking deep ragged breaths and literally shaking like a leaf while holding up 420 by its tail, staring daggers at me. I quickly put on my puppy face. Every bone in her body told her that I did it, but she had no way to be sure, or prove it. So finally she just flung the fish against Emmett's head, who had been trying desperately to bite back a laugh this entire time, all the while failing miserably. Catastrophically. Then, regaining perfect composure in an instant she turned on her heel and just stormed out of the place, turning around once at the door to offer the entire school a calm but deadly: "And what are you looking at?" at which everyone immediately turned around to pretend to be very busy talking about the weather and sports. I had to hand it to her, the girl held authority.
I turned my attention back to the new girl, who seemed to be subjected to my sister's ramblings now. At one point Alice took a piece of her lumberjack blouse in between two fingers, with a face like she was watching someone skin a litter of live kittens. Alice and her everpresent fashion sense. It was almost scary. How long exactly had that the Swan girl been talking to her before it reared its ugly head? Two, three minutes maybe? Take a breather already. Although, I won't deny the fact that the she could really use a few styling tips judging by the whole getup, unless she was going hunting for grizzlies right after school.
Behind me, Jasper shifted in his seat. "Sooooww," he started, making me turn around to face him. He didn't say anything else, he just looked at me accusingly.
"What?" I asked.
Genuinely not knowing what he was getting at, I threw my hand up in question and raised my eyebrows to illustrate that. Again, he didn't reply. Instead he kept staring at me, which gave me time to recall what had just happened here. Oh right ...Rose.
When he saw realization hit me, he went on to say, "Well, it seems your fish died."
"Is that so?" I chuckled.
Of course Jasper knew the fish was mine. I mean there weren't that many fish out there that had a red, lightning shaped spot running over its white flanks. We had dubbed it Harry Potter as soon as the movie came out. "So tell me, what gave me away?" I asked dumbly.
"Oh I don't know," he said in a goofy voice, obviously but justifiably mocking me. "Maybe it was the bubbly personality?"
I'm quite sure I heard a little sneer there. Probably a little dissapointed in me for upsetting his sister once again. He rolled his eyes when my only responses to his sarcasm were a shrug and a cocky grin. I'd be damned before I apologized for upsetting Rose. That bitch had it coming.
"You know she would have done the same thing to me right?" I defended myself. He just cocked an eyebrow and I groaned. "Okay fine, I'm sure she wouldn't have done the exact same thing, but still. She's a big girl Jazz," I said definitively, to which he responded by running his hands through his hair while moaning in frustration.
After a few seconds of moping, he probably reached the conlusion that this was as close to an apoligy as he was going to get out of me, he sighed a very Zen sigh. Then, after clearing his throat he was the embodiment of calm again and he asked me the stupidest thing.
"So what happened to it?"
How was that even relevant? I shrugged again and glanced at Jasper before staring back at Alice over at the unstable table. She was still harassing the new girl, no doubt with threats of haircuts and makeovers because she was now touching the girl's hair, with the monster dog watching her every move a little too intently.
"You're asking me how he died? Fuck me if I know. Death by dying," I smirked indifferently.
"I'm sorry man," Jazz said and put his hand on my shoulder. "I mean you've had that thing like forever."
Was he being serious? He squeezed my shoulder a little now, so I guess he was. He was serious. "Oh please don't go all Brokeback mountain on me now man," I said while pushing his hand off me. "Yes, I've had that fucker for 18 years. Damn, it was older than me even. It was about time he died."
Jazz didn't respond to that, but he looked …sympathetic? Worried? Like he knew something I didn't. Screw him. He sometimes got it into his head that he knew how people felt better than they did themselves. Like now, he probably thought I was going to miss that fish. Cry over it in my bed tonight. Smug bastard. Don't get me wrong, I loved this particular bastard and if anyone ever laid a hand on him or just looked at him funny I'd kick their asses, but he always thought he knew me a little better than I knew myself and that could get annoying.
"What?" I asked a little irritated. "C'mon man it was a fish. F-I-S-H. Fish? I think I'll live, Christ. Fish die."
"Yeah, he's swimmin' with the fishes now," Emmett joked, back from wherever it was Rosalie threw him out of and where she was now most likely very busy moping and plotting her revenge on me. With a big grin Emmett took his seat at our table and gave Jasper two friendly but bone cracking pats on his back. He dramatically raised a finger up in the air. "In that big fish tank in the sky," he added in a whisper. Then he held his heart with his left hand, put his right arm in front of his eyes, bit his lip and started mock sobbing.
I playfully smacked him in the head. "Knock it off dipshit."
"Heyyy. Dipshits are shits too you know." He whined, rubbing his head a little too theatrically. "And please tell me you have at least called your fish's school?"
Jasper left for class shortly after that and I couldn't help but notice that he didn't even aknowledge Ali on his way out. No greeting, no kiss, not even a sideways glance. He had his hands in his pockets and his head down, obviously hiding from her gaze when he walked past her table. She looked so sad watching him leave that I wanted to drag his curly ass back in there myself, but I figured that would probably be counter-productive.
Alice would spend the night at Rose's place, therefore I didn't have to worry about getting her home safely when I skipped my last three classes after I felt a migraine coming up. Before I arrived home it was gone though, so maybe I had just imagined it. I don't know. I wasn't exactly sick but something felt… off. I went to bed early that night, right after I received Jazz's regular quote-of-the-day. I heard the incoming text on my phone at ten o'clock sharp and when I opened it, it read:
*Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. It's their way of falling. - Andre Gide *
"En garde," I said to myself quietly and snorted. I loved these late night quoting sessions, they were like fencing. For my counter, I quickly googled for my own fish- quote to send back to him but it seemed he already got the most striking one. At least I couldn't find a better one in short order so I tried falling-quotes instead. When I found one I liked, I sent it back.
*Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confusius*
After less than a minute he replied, and I smiled at the words he sent me because they matched my own thoughts.
*Fish fucking get that*
They fucking did. I put the phone away to go brush my teeth and wash up. When I came back in my room I threw my clothes off and in my boxers I walked over to my desk where I had left my phone. I picked it back up, because I had to send Jazz one more text, at the risk of sounding a little bipolar.
*I love you man, you know that. But hurt my sister and I swear I'll kill you.*
I switched off the light and climbed into bed. Over half an hour later my phone beeped. It didn't wake me, because so far I had only been rolling around trying to sleep. I picked up the phone and had to blink a few times to let my eyes adjust to the bright light of the screen.
*Don't worry. If I ever hurt her I'd beat you to it.*
"Touché," I chuckled humorlessly. Because somehow I believed he would.
That night I had trouble sleeping. When I finally did, my dreams showed a sad goldfish holding a tank with a dead belly up Alice in it, with strands of long brown curls falling upwards through blood-red water. And then everything went black and I heard someone cry. It was so quiet, so lonely and so very …heartbreaking. It was enough to wake me.
I sat up, drowsy, tired and confused. Rubbed my eyes, in the corner of my room I caught a glimpse of the empty fish tank, now illuminated by the moonlight. My mom apparently already cleaned it out while I was in school and the eerie light emphasized just how empty it was; how there was nobody in this room but me. Not even a stupid goldfish. And for the first time in my life, I felt completely alone. Because for the first time in my life, I was. Completely alone. And out of nowhere, I felt a stray tear fall down my face. It fell on my sheets in complete silence and I looked at the dark stain in disbelief. I reached out a finger to touch it, maybe to make sure it was even real. When I felt the wet spot, a sadness washed over me that just completely took over. And then I cried. I cried for hours. I cried and cried and cried for the first time in thirteen years. I cried over everything and nothing in particular. Over how I failed at making Alice happy, over not fucking appreciating Carlisle enough, or Esme, over me only talking shit, over my mom, my dad and a thousand more things.
And as it turned out, Jazz did know me better than I knew myself. Because I cried like a baby over my fucking goldfish.
-:-
Thank you for reading! Penny for your thoughts.
...
Well not a 'penny', exactly. A reply, will that do?
