She heard his bare feet padding against the cold tiles of the kitchen floor as he filled and clicked the kettle on to boil.
Since Zoe had taken up residence on the couch she'd been careful to get up and dressed before Dylan emerged from the spare room each morning but today she'd overslept. Knowing that as soon as he turned around he'd see her she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
"I know you're not asleep" he murmured, sitting on the couch next to her feet. "In the doghouse are we?" he teased before he noticed how upset his best friend was.
"He's not touched me since the wedding Dylan". Her eyes were sparkling with tears but they didn't fall. "I don't know what to do."
"I had no idea things were this bad Zoe. I guess all you can do is keep trying to talk to him. I'll go out tonight, it can't be helping having me here all the time. Cook him dinner, put on an outfit he likes you in."
"I don't think it's as simple as that..."
"It's not but that's a start."
She heard Max get up a little while later. She made her way through to what was formerly their bedroom and knocked on the door, entering without waiting on a response. "Max, I was going to make us dinner tonight. Is there anything in particular you fancy?"
"Just whatever,I'm not fussed." He didn't even look in her direction as he answered, busying himself sorting out his clothes for the day. Seeing him standing there in his boxers was making Zoe long to be able to touch him but she knew that it would end in rejection and she couldn't face that. "Was that all you wanted Zo, only I have to get ready for work?" He was exasperated just by her very presence and the impatience in his voice cut through her.
"There was one other thing, I'm off today, would you mind if I had a sleep in the bed?"
"It's a free country" was his response as he gestured towards the bed, picked his clothes up and left the room to get changed.
She slipped under the covers and smell of him was simultaneously comforting and distressing. She drifted in and out of unsettled sleep, filled with dreams of happier times. Waking up at 10am, the longest she'd slept in a while, she got up to get to work, cleaning the flat, food shopping and then sprucing herself up on Dylan's suggestion. She dug out her favourite little black dress and hot pink heels combo, pulled her hair back away from her face and applied exaggerated eye make up. In their happier days the chances of them getting as far as eating dinner when she was dressed like this was unlikely, so she hoped it would still have a similar effect on Max.
Their dinner was nearly ready by 7.15pm but there was still no sign of Max. Dread was the feeling rising through Zoe's body as she sat at the dining table sipping her wine. Everyone thought she was strong and hard as nails but she was seriously doubting how she was going to cope if tonight didn't come off.
After the longest 10 minutes of her life she heard the familiar sound of Max's keys in the front door. "Sorry I'm late!" he called through the flat as he hung his coat up. "' got a last minute call to take a patient to CT."
"It's fine, do you want a drink?" She stood up to get him a glass without waiting for a response and could see his eyes watching her as she did so.
"Wow, Zo, you look amazing." She smiled with her back to him, feeling almost devious that her plan was so far working.
"This old thing…" turning around with a knowing grin on her face.
He averted her gaze, what she did the night before their wedding was still hurting him, "Zoe, I'm not sure I can do this."
"Let's just have dinner and talk, we don't have to do anything."
"I want to, it's just every time I think about touching you I can't stop imagining "him" and I don't even know who he was but I can picture it in my head…"
"Max, honestly I was so drunk I don't even remember it, I don't know what it felt like or if I even felt anything. But I remember what you feel like and how I feel when you kiss me and touch me and when you're inside me. That's all I think about. Not him or anyone else I've been with. I just want you." The tears were starting to build up in her eyes once more and not wanting to ruin her make up she got up and busied herself serving their dinner.
Once they were eating and drinking the conversation started to flow like the old days, gossiping about their colleagues and bitching about Connie. The wine kept coming long after they had finished eating and had moved to the sofa.
A gap in conversation presented itself and Zoe placed her wine glass down and lent in to kiss her husband for the first time since she got home from hospital. He responded shyly at first, his lips gently brushing against hers, before slowly deepening the kiss. She moved to start unbuttoning his shirt and he suddenly stood up pushing her away.
"I'm sorry Zoe, I can't do this, I thought I could but I just can't." He could see the pain of the past few weeks etched on her face but he couldn't help how he was feeling. Rationally he knew he was being ridiculous - she made a mistake, apologized and had definitely been more than adequately punished - but the hurt of that moment when he found out just wouldn't leave him.
"Max, please could we just try?" She was crying now, suffocating under the pain of having to beg her husband to touch her.
" I'm sorry Zo, I really am, I just can't."
She struggled to her feet, the alcohol, and hurt, having a combined effect on her balance. She stumbled across the room and grabbed her handbag and headed for the door. "Zoe! Don't do this..." he called desperately after her.
"Make me stay" was her steely response looking back at him. His head dropped into his hands and she opened the door and didn't look back.
