A/N: Crack Alert! Threesome MPreg OOC Abounds! I'm planning a sweet, gentle-lovemaking, MPreg opus with Starrk/Ukitake. Usually, I write in my sleep, during my afternoon nap. Of course, this afternoon, the loony strikes, and I wake up with this horror dancing through my brain. Yes, I'm taking a huge leap, off a cliff, with Canon. I'm probably taking liberties with the aspects of Hollows and Vizards, especially with the MPreg. So be it. The crack must always be obeyed! Why is Yumichika in this? Charlotte Cuuhlhorne. Sure, it's Aizen's evil doing, but Yumichika made me laugh about it. Twice. He must pay.

Fandom: Bleach

Summary: Yumichika always wondered, who stood in his way, in Shuuhei's heart. To his regret, he's going to find out.

Pairings: Kensei/Shuuhei/Yumichika (in that order)

Warnings: Yaoi, Graphic Rough SEX (I mean it!), Non-Con, Dom/Sub, AU, OOC, MPreg, Cursing

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fan fiction.

Blow It Away

XXX

Unattractive deep pout marring deceptively fragile features, Yumichika harshly nipped a sweaty earlobe. "Shuuhei! You've been rutting away for the last twenty minutes! I might as well not even be here. You haven't once told me how beautiful I look tonight. If you planned on ignoring me, this whole time, you shouldn't have come at all!"

Shuuhei shook his head back-and-forth. Eyes, once again, focusing on his irritated mate below. "I'm sorry, Yumichika. With Captain Muguruma reinstated, you would think I had less to do. The man has me running non-stop. He barely gave me enough time to come and see you. I didn't say you look beautiful, because you always look beautiful to me."

With all his might, Yumichika fought the soaring feeling, in his chest.

When Shuuhei leaned in, for a kiss, Yumichika denied him, with a turn of the head, and a sniff of false hurt. "Captain this. Captain that. Ever since that gray-haired brute came back, he's all you talk about. What happened to our marriage plans? You promised, once the Winter Battle was over, we would start a brand new life together. Let me guess. The dear Captain, with his stupid, sage advice placed doubts in your head about me."

To Yumichika's dismay, Shuuhei didn't deny the accusation. Embarrassed flush covering tattooed face, he met a hardening gaze. "Don't blame the Captain, Yumi. He just thinks we might be going too fast. I showed him the circled stuff, in the wedding catalog, you brought from the Living World. He laughed in my face, saying I'll never be able to afford all the frou-frou things you want, on a lieutenant's salary. "

"Growing up, in the Rukongai, I swore, if I lived long enough to get married, my spouse would never want for anything. We're not even married yet, and I'm already failing you. I've admired Captain Muguruma all my life. He's always been my role model; but he makes me feel bad, Yumi. Each day I feel lower and lower. I don't think, in his eyes, I'll ever measure up."

Almost single-handedly, Yumichika had brought Shuuhei back, from severe depression, with Tousen's betrayal.

When his love finally rewarded seemingly fruitless efforts, with a genuine smile, Yumichika swore he would never allow Shuuhei to be hurt like that again. Unfortunately, Shuuhei's honorable, steadfast nature worked against the vow.

When Yumichika's intended gave his loyalty, he gave all.

With a quick strategy planned and decided, Yumichika Ayasegawa brought Shuhei Hisagi's attention back to him. With a deep kiss, he tightened lower muscles, surrounding the beloved length still buried within. "You've always measured up to me. I believe my opinion outweighs his. Don't you think?"

Tightening his embrace, Shuuhei resumed measured thrusts, into the willing body underneath. "Yeah. You're right. I'm being silly again. Thanks, Yumi. I love you."

Clutching his man close, Yumichika petted Shuuhei, like a prized puppy. "Yes, Shuuhei. I know."

XXX

Kensei Muguruma bristled with irritation. This was not the normal irritation he went to sleep with, and woke up with, everyday. This proved to be a whole different animal.

The Captain knew the cause for this irritation, but unlike the usual irritation, he could do nothing about it.

The cause being his lieutenant, Shuhei Hisagi. To be exact, the scent permeating off Shuhei Hisagi.

To put it plainly, since Kensei's inner Hollow wouldn't shut up about it, Shuhei smelled like a bitch in heat. The pervasive, musky scent almost overpowering Kensei's hard-won control, whenever the man-boy ventured too near.

Kensei combated the unconscious seduction, by sending his confused lieutenant far and wide. By the third month, judging by the perplexed gazes of his subordinates, the requests had become downright foolish. Of course, with a bellow, he would make them all scatter, but he knew he couldn't keep this up forever. To tell the truth, he didn't want to.

Kensei had been alone, for so long, running and hiding with the Vizards. To help keep his inner Hollow in line, he had promised the beast a proper mate, once he found a stable place to build a nest for the offspring.

With the quick reinstatement, to his former post, Kensei finally had a stable place. With Shuhei Hisagi, he found a proper mate to have a family with.

The Captain of 9th Division had only one problem, which stopped his inner Hollow in its tracks.

A simpering, feathered problem, which just appeared in front of his cluttered Captain's desk.

Kensei Muguruma tried, like Hell, to ignore the slim body swaying in front of him. The long fingers playing a rat-tat-tat on the desk did not help.

Yumichika Ayasegawa, 5th seated officer in the 11th Division. A reported male, and fiancé, to Kensei's besotted lieutenant.

Kensei focused his attention on his inner Hollow, expecting to find the creature snarling, and powering up to attack. To his consternation, he felt hot blood pooling in his lower regions, followed by the alarming hum of purring.

XXX

Shuuhei Hisagi slowly dragged his way back to the 9th Division's Captain's Quarters. Having been run ragged all week, he hoped his Captain would show leniency, and allow him to leave a little early.

To his surprise, before he left, Yumichika had agreed with his Captain's previous comments, except he worded it a little differently. He stated he didn't need a huge wedding, like they had planned. All he would ever need is Shuuhei.

With nothing to hold them back, any longer, the couple decided to get married in a month.

Shuuhei picked up his step. He'd find a way out of running more errands, if it killed him. His Yumi needed him today, more than the Captain.

XXX

Jogging up to Headquarters, Shuuhei came to an abrupt stop. All forward motion hindered by the terrified group of subordinates in his way. Pushing past the crowd, he gasped, hearing the familiar fearsome howl of a Hollow unleashed.

Shuuhei jerked, feeling a hand grip his arm. He turned to meet the frightened eyes of one of the men. "Report! How did a Hollow get into the Captain's Quarters?"

To Shuuhei's confusion, the man shook his head. "Truthfully, Lieutenant. We all think it's the Captain. We tried to stop Yumichika from going inside. We warned him the Captain seemed really irritated today. He laughed us all off and waved us away. I'm not sure what he could have said, but it sure upset the Captain."

Now knowing the situation, Shuuhei hung his head, for a moment. With a quick shake, he looked over the crowd, and motioned them all to return to their quarters. "Don't worry. There's nothing to be scared of. General Yamamoto informed us all the former Vizards have perfect control over their Hollow forms. We've all experienced how Yumichika can be. The Captain is just doing the usual yelling, except in Hollow form."

The scare abated, with chorus of chuckles. The crowd dispersed, leaving a concerned Shuuhei.

Turning around, Shuuhei flash stepped to the Captain's Quarters. He knew exactly how his fiancé could be. He just hoped Captain Muguruma left Yumichika in one piece.

Opening the door, Shuuhei's astonished eyes widened at the sight before him.

Captain Muguruma, Hollow mask in place, but not fully Hollowfied, had a scrabbling Yumichika on hands and knees. Grunting, with each deep thrust, he plowed the gasping 5th Seat deeper into the floor. The hard wood leaving his fiancé's knees and palms torn and bloodied.

Lieutenant's mind clicking back into place, Shuuhei barely had enough sense to take the necessary step forward. Slamming the door shut behind him, he flipped the lock over, closing them off from the outside.

XXX

Yumichika didn't know who he had wronged, to deserve such horrible treatment, but he was sorry. So sorry. Taken on his hands and knees, like a common whore, he groaned, as the Hollowfied Captain above him slammed into his bruised prostate once more. He squirmed, feeling the pre-cum leak into his canal, with each thrust.

Yumichika had no idea what happened. There he stood, tapping away on the brute's desk, ready with a flippant remark. The next thing he knew, he had been stripped naked, slammed on the floor, and taken by the Hollow-masked animal his fiancé called Captain.

Attempting to keep his balance, Yumichika held a bloodied hand over his mouth. His stomach had lurched, when his brain finally registered where an odd squelching sound originated from. A nauseated gaze darted over to the forgotten bottle, laying on the floor.

Baby oil. Baby oil !?! How rude! What kind of Captain keeps baby oil in their desk? Filthy barbarian.

Disgusted beyond belief, Yumichika actually found the strength, to renew his fight, when he heard the door slam shut. Looking up, his wide-eyes met Shuuhei's.

Until then, Yumichika had been able to brush the assault off, just like he used to in the Rukongai. However, one look into Shuuhei's shocked eyes, broke his will, better than any weapon.

Lowering a shamed face to the floor, Yumichika covered his head with his arms. Lower body kept in place by Kensei's iron grip. "Shuuhei, don't look at me. Please don't look. Go away. I don't want you to see me like this."

Shuuhei had never heard his love sound so defeated. With a possessive snarl, he spurred himself into action. Leaping forward, he reached out, trying to pull Yumichika away from danger.

To Shuuhei's surprise, he found himself gagging. Frantic, he clawed at the hand gripping his neck. Lowering his gaze, he saw Kensei hadn't halted his thrusting one bit. Other hand firmly keeping Yumichika in place.

Sensing Kensei's mask flip up, Shuuhei looked back up, only to meet golden eyes, tinged with poisonous yellow. "Captain? Kensei, whatever Yumichika did, he doesn't deserve this. Let him go. Take me instead."

Kensei's grip moved from Shuuhei's neck, to his hair. Grabbing hold of brown spikes, he brought the wincing face towards him, lovingly licking the 69 tattoo. "Oh, I will. But you got it wrong, Kid. Sort of confused before. My Hollow helped me figure it out. You don't have to choose. I'll just mate both of you. Then we'll all be happy."

Shuuhei's upset brain dimly registered Kensei's purring words. About to argue, he startled, when Kensei hauled a sobbing Yumichika up, by the waist, displaying a weeping erection.

With a sharp tug from Kensei, Shuuhei found his head in Yumichika's lap, smearing his cheek with fluid. He glared up into Kensei's grinning face. "What makes you think I want to be with you? Yumichika didn't ask for this. He doesn't know you at all."

Reaching forward, balls-deep thrusts becoming more erratic, Kensei softly petted Shuuhei's face, while subtly moving it towards the nearby erection. "My Hollow told me our pretty bird needs a safe place to nest. Someone to take care of him. Give him pretty things to play with, when he's bored. You take care of him. I buy him the frou-frou shit he likes. I take care of the both of you. You guys will have to take care of the babies, though. I have no idea what to do with them"

Palming the lowered head before him, Kensei raised the visage back up, and gave Yumichika a deep kiss. Resting the groaning 5th's head, on his shoulder, he looked back down into Shuuhei's wide eyes. "I don't know why you love me, but you do. You've been leading me on, since the first day I came back. I'm not asking you to give up Yumichika; not asking you to give up anything. All I want is to be included. Quit fighting me, and help our mate. He's going to tear my dick off, with his ass muscles, if you don't finish him off."

Looking up, Shuuhei met Yumichika's eyes. While they still glistened, with fright, the orbs also shined with lust and need. "Yumi?"

Releasing a sob, Yumichika palmed Shuuhei's face, bringing his mouth closer. "Shuuhei? It's starting to hurt. Please. I need you."

Hearing the rare plea, in his lover's voice, Shuuhei quickly lowered his mouth. With a swift inhale, he began to earnestly suck Yumichika's erection.

Flinging his head back, with a scream, Yumichika gripped rock-hard thighs tight, while a grinning Kensei pummeled his prostate towards completion.

With the double stimulation, it wasn't long before Yumichika wailed his completion. Slim body convulsing between his two mates.

Shuuhei sucked and sucked, ensuring he didn't miss one drop. Releasing the limp member, with a plop, he groaned, bending long legs, distracted by his own straining erection.

Growling, Kensei fought Yumichika's body for another five minutes, before he surrendered with a ear-shattering howl. Releasing, into the shivering body still held tight to his frame, he snarled, biting down on his new mate's pale neck juncture.

Yumichika screamed, feeling the former Vizard's sharp teeth puncture his skin. Squirming, and wiggling, to no avail, he finally sagged in Kensei's unrelenting embrace. Cringing, he clutched his lower belly, feeling his bowels overflow with the Captain's seed.

With a loud pop, Kensei finally pulled out of Yumichika's exhausted body. Picking his mate up, he gently laid the 5th down on the couch nearby. Leaning forward, he kissed the slightly swollen lower belly, then the unattractively scrunched up forehead.

Straightening back up, Kensei gazed into accusing eyes. "If my baby comes out looking like you, I'm killing myself. I'm not raising any ugly Vizard babies. I don't care how powerful they become. I refuse."

Emitting a Hollow-tinged echoing chuckle, Kensei rose up, walking nude towards a furiously masturbating Shuuhei. "No you won't, Peacock. If you do, I won't buy you that ugly frilly canopied thing you wanted on page 302."

Temporarily forgetting his exhaustion, Yumichika sat up, only to lay back down with a groan. "With the matching sheets?"

Kensei paused, for a moment. "At $300 bucks each? Peacock, I may have saved up a lot of money, in the living world, but we have to save something for the kids."

Yumichika pouted. "The ensemble won't work without the sheets. I want my sheets. My babies will look like me, so they won't have to worry about money. With my looks, and your power, the noble houses will be banging down our door."

Waving a dismissive hand, Kensei hunched over an oblivious Shuuhei. "Fine. But when our kids are accused of being shallow gold-diggers, I know who to blame."

Raising a sure hand, Kensei brought it down, with a resounding smack, to Shuuhei's still-clothed posterior. "Oi! Hands off what's mine! Peacock's resting. Your turn."

Body slightly shaking, with lust, Shuuhei slowly sat up. An unsure gaze locked onto his adored Captain's face. "I may have grown up in the Rukongai, but I was sent to school, right after you saved me. Unlike Yumichika, I've never-."

With a sigh, Kensei halted the stilted words, with a strong hand to the mouth. "Don't need to spell it out, Kid. Take off your clothes and lay on my desk. I'll get the baby oil."

Shuuhei stumbled, on his way towards the hastily cleared desk. "B-b-baby oil? Why…?"

Meeting Kensei's amused gaze, Shuuhei shook his head, while he continued to undress. "Forget it. I don't want to know."

XXX

From his vantage point, on the couch, Yumichika watched, as Kensei took Shuuhei twice. The first time on his back. The second time, bent over the Captain's desk.

Yumichika waited, somewhat hoping to feel the poisonous spark of familiar jealousy rise up, in his heart. To his surprise, the pervasive feeling of belonging and contentment continued to thrum throughout his satiated body.

While the first time seemed gentle and giving, the second time had Yumichika wincing, in sympathy, for his poor Shuuhei.

The inner Hollow, in the Captain, made itself known, once again, when the mask appeared, obscuring Kensei's face.

Unable to see Shuuhei biting his lips to bloody ribbons, while trying not to scream, the former Vizard pounded into his second mate. In between deep thrusts, he rotated firm hips, grinding the prostate gland at every turn.

Gripping the edge of the desk, with white knuckles, Shuuhei couldn't differentiate pain from pleasure. Each sensation tinged the other.

Clenched closed eyes shot open, when Shuuhei heard Yumichika's plea, accompanied by lethargic movements, while he attempted to get off the couch. "Kensei! Please, Husband! You must be more gentle! You're breaking Shuuhei apart!"

In spite of his predicament, Shuuhei whined, seeing his love trying to help him. He winced, when a solid fist slammed down next to his shoulder, splintering the solid wood.

"Lay back down! You survived your marking, so will Shuuhei. Now lay back down, and let my baby grow."

Cringing, with renewed fright, Yumichika quickly huddled back into the couch. Arms clasped tight around his middle.

Taking firm hold of Shuuhei's shoulder, with one hand, and slim hip, with the other, Kensei renewed his thrusts. Flipping the Hollow mask off, he gained Shuuhei's attention, with a hard slap to the rump. "Oi! Quit biting your lips! Peacock sang for me. I want to hear you too."

Freeing blood-tinged lips, with a gasp, Shuuhei abandoned all reserve. Dropping his head down, onto the hard wood of the desk, he filled the room with loud moans, punctuated with the sounds of skin slapping against skin.

Feeling himself about to release again, Kensei reached underneath Shuuhei's writhing body. Grasping the drooling erection tight, he began to fist the member hard.

Flinging his head back, Shuuhei showed Yumichika unfocused eyes. Moans quickly turning into loud yells. His body writhed even more, hoping to escape the hard fisting in front, or the relentless pounding behind.

Sensing his second mate's completion nearing, Kensei leaned forward, fast-humping directly into Shuuhei's battered prostate. "Come on, Mate. Let me hear you sing. Know you want it. Come on. Let it out."

Emitting a scream, to rival the former Vizard's howl behind him, Shuuhei sprayed his release everywhere. The strong hand surrounding it, continued to massage, making the owner convulse with the aftershocks.

Shuuhei vaguely felt the sting of Kensei biting his neck, before he blacked out completely.

XXX

When Shuuhei came to, he found himself in the Infirmary, laying in the same bed as Yumichika. Raising a tired hand, he softly ran his fingers over his mate's slumbering face.

"I'm not sure why, but his body seems to have acclimated itself to childbearing much easier than yours."

Turning slightly, Shuuhei's wary gaze met the comforting blue eyes of Captain Unohana. "Do not fear, Shuuhei. Yumichika and you are not the only pregnant men I have seen this month. It seems the War opened many a person's eye to the fragility of life. I am proud to say my division shall be very busy this year."

Moving closer, Shuuhei embraced Yumichika's warm body. "Where's our Hus-uh-Captain Muguruma?"

Unohana allowed herself a quick laugh, before comforting Shuuhei with a gentle pat. "Your, and Yumichika's, Husband apparently had to undertake a mission to the Living World. He muttered something about an ugly-ass canopied thing."

"M-m-matching…sheets. Not without matching sheets…Refuse."

Amused smile widening, Captain Unohana ran soft fingers through attractive, sleeping hair. "Yes, Yumichika. He made sure to remember the matching sheets. I spied him writing the description, on his hand, myself."

Snuggling closer to Shuuhei's warmth, Yumichika slept on. Arms wrapped tight around his middle.

With an answering nod, to Captain Unohana, Shuuhei settled himself down, for more sleep of his own. She hadn't said anything, but he already knew.

At this very moment, Kensei's child grew inside, feeding off Shuuhei's spiritual energy. To become, one day, even stronger than his father and mother combined.

Feeling Yumichika wiggle in his embrace, Shuuhei opened one eye. Looking down, he readjusted his hold. He knew he wouldn't have to worry about Yumichika. His fellow mate and bearer was just reserving his energy for the fun times ahead.

Yumichika's good looks and Kensei's power.

Glancing at the future, Shuuhei shuddered. No, he wouldn't feel sorry for Yumichika. He'll save his sympathy for the four Noble Houses.