Two Hearts. One Dream

"Lola! I need you to grab me a vial of Propofol stat!" A doctor yelled across the hall.

"Got it!" Lola called back. I shuddered at that name. Just thinking of the deadly drug made my stomach tie up in knots.

Yeah, this is my life now. I'm currently a nurse, working for the Progressive Hospital in Las Vegas. I guess it is a pretty stressful job when it comes right down to it, but nothing compares to how my life was before I met my husband. I suppose you could call me the former "Queen of Pop." I know, it sounds crazy. Someone like me married to the great Michael Jackson.

"Lola, please! Get that Propofol and stop daydreaming! This patient is far behind schedule!" The sudden shout of the doctor started me. I grabbed the vial and shivered as I ran to the cabinet and prepared an I.V. drip.

As I was saying, this job can get stressful. I enjoy helping people. I wasn't always so determined to make an impact on the world, even to hold a small career like a nurse. I had a good teacher though. Oh, and if you're wondering why I hate Propofol so much, let me tell you my story.

----------------------------------------------------- ~ 20 Years Ago ~ --------------------------------------------------------------

"Great job today Lola! Did you have any bad patients today?" a bubbly girl in pink scrubs asked me. She was the secretary at the doctor's office I just began working for last week.

"Nothing I couldn't handle. See you tomorrow Angie." I smiled and went out to my car. I pulled out my IPod and my cell phone and turned on my music.

'Hmm…I think I'm in this kind of mood…' I thought to myself. I turned on Michael Jackson and played "The Way You Make Me Feel." Of course, right when I hit play, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Lola, hey it's Janet." She answered happily. Janet was my ex boyfriend's mother. "I just wanted to let you know, I've picked Will up from daycare. I'll have him back to you before his bedtime."

Will is my 2 year old son. My name is Lola. I am unfortunately a single mom living in the small town of Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Will's dad, Brian, is a complete let down. Don't ask me what I ever saw in that guy, because I honestly don't remember. He has ADHD and he's Bipolar, among other things. I got lucky when my son was born 100% healthy.

"Hey, Janet. Thank you so much. I needed to run a few errands anyway. I'll see you tonight then. Bye." I smiled and hung up. Although her son was a complete moron, I really liked her. She was always so nice to me. She made Brian learn from her. As sad as it sounds, she actually forced him to spend time with Will.

I rolled my eyes thinking about it and pulled out of the parking lot. I had promised my mother the night before that I would buy this week's groceries. I live with my mother and brother and of course my son. I just graduated with my Medical Assistant degree. Now, I'm working for a small doctor's office. It's just a start though. Once I'm sure my mom and brother will be able to survive without help, my son and I will be off to find our own place.

I made my first stop and got the regular food items. I didn't have to look at my mother's list anymore. I was used to buying the groceries, so I knew what to buy. After leaving the store, I headed down a road closer to home. I stopped at a red light and noticed a familiar van with random stickers pasted in the back and side windows. Brian. He drove a silver "soccer mom" van. I always knew it was him when I saw that van. His right front tire was the spare tire and he kept a bright yellow visor hung on his rear-view mirror.

I looked away, still listening to my Michael Jackson music. After a few seconds, I heard engines roaring. When I looked up again, I noticed another van pulled up next to Brian's. It was about the same size, but it was modified for racing purposes. It had neon lights underneath and it was lower to the ground than Brian's van. Brian, being as cocky as he is, revved his engine.

'He can't be serious,' I thought as I watched him challenge the other van. Apparently he was very serious. When the light went green, both vans raced off in a cloud of smoke. I was surprised to see Brian actually kept up with the other van as long as he did. The racing van pulled up further. I started to wonder how far they would get before the police caught them, or until one lost control. As much as I hated Brian, I'd never wish for anyone to get hurt.

'I have a bad feeling about this,' I thought. I picked up my phone and dialed my mother's number as I made a quick circle in a nearby parking lot and went in the direction the two psychotic racers went.

"Mom, hey it's me. I'm going to be a little later than I thought. I'll see you when I see you. I love you." Before I gave her a chance to respond, I hung up and picked up my speed, careful not to go too far over the speed limit.

I finally got caught up enough to where I could see them in the distance. I watched and flinched as they sped through 2 red lights, both only merely inches away from a bad accident. I got closer as they approached the third red light. The intersection was a lot busier than the previous ones.

'No no…stop you idiot!' I kept thinking…but it was too late. The first van made it through barely. As Brian went through, a passing eighteen wheeler approached him. It all seemed to slow down at that point. I watched in horror as the front of the semi slammed into the driver's side door of Brian's van. The second the semi truck hit, the driver slammed on the breaks and sent Brian's van flying across the intersection. It hit a nearby power pole and sent the van in a violent tumble.

'Good God…this doesn't look good,' I worried as I sped towards the site. Brian's van must have flipped 8 times before coming to a stop upside down in a ditch. I pulled over and ran to the wreckage expecting the worst. I haven't had too much experience with trauma and I've only done a hand full of blood draws, so I wasn't sure how well I would do to seeing too much trauma.

"Brian! Are you alright?" I called out. I was shocked to see Brian look up at me and smile.

"It's nice to see you too. You look good from this angle." He grinned and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, shut up. Tell me what hurts. Is anything broken? Can you feel everything?" I didn't know how to ask. I was in a state of shock. I didn't want to sound too worried and give him false hope. I guess I wasn't too convincing.

"Nothing but my heart. Why can't you take me back?" he grumbled as he slowly crawled out of the van window. I ignored him and looked him over.

"You asshole! Do you know how lucky you are? You could have been killed being that reckless! What were you thinking? No! Don't answer that." I yelled angrily. I think my face must have been a deep shade of red by then.

"I was just having a little fun." He tried defending himself.

I pointed at the wreck and got even more angry. "You call that shit fun? You could have killed yourself. Will could be without a father because you wanted to have fun! You call this being a good father?" I folded my arms and stared at him, waiting for his answer. He stared blankly at my forehead for a minute.

I waved my hand in front of his face and he whispered "Oh no, Will…"

My heart immediately dropped. I stared at him trying to figure out what he knew that I didn't. I watched him dart his eyes to the wreckage and then back to me. Then he looked down and started turning a pale white color. Tears formed in my eyes as I stared at the pile of metal that used to be a van.

"Don't tell me Will was in the…" I choked and started to cry. "Will! Tell me you're alive baby!" I yelled out as I ran to the van and searched what was left of the back seat. I continued to call for him until I spotted him. I immediately felt sick to my stomach.

"Will! Oh god! Someone call 911 now!" I yelled through my tears. I reached in and felt my son's limp arm. "Brian! He doesn't have a pulse! Call 911 damnit!"

Brian slowly lifted the phone to his ear. I continued to try and untangle my son's limp body from the wreckage. After what seemed to be an eternity, paramedics finally arrived and used a chain saw to release my son from the metal.

"Are you the mother?" one of the paramedics asked me. I nodded through my tears. "Alright, you can ride with us to the hospital. Tell your husband he can meet us there."

I gritted my teeth and glared at Brian. He stood frozen, watching from a few feet away. He hadn't moved an inch since he crawled out of the wreck. "He is not, nor will he ever be my husband. Let's go." I jumped in the back of the ambulance and grabbed Will's hand.

Getting to the hospital seemed to take hours. I watched the medics as they worked on my son. They were able to get his heart beating again, but he was losing blood pressure too fast.

"Pick up the pace Josh! We're losing him!" one medic called out. I gasped as a sharp pain hit my chest. The medic looked at me with apologetic eyes and I looked away. Finally we pulled up to the hospital and I jumped out and followed them as they wheeled Will into another room.

"Sorry miss, but you will have to stay outside. We will do all we can to save him." The doctor stopped me at the door and tried to be reassuring. I hesitated and walked out into the waiting room where my mother and two brothers sat. Brian and his parents and brother were there as well.

"This is all Brian's fault! What the hell were you thinking?" My brother Cody yelled at Brian and his family.

"Mom, don't let them yell at me." Brian pleaded with his mother.

"Well, it is your fault. This is why I took your license away. I told you that you were going to hurt someone and now you've hurt your own son. Don't ask for my help anymore."

They all continued to argue and I turned my back on them. I paced the hall until my feet were throbbing. My family watched me for a while. None of them tried to talk to me. I was happy for that. My family knew I was in my own little world at that point.

'Please God let him be okay. I'll never forgive Brian if something happens to my little boy.' I repeated those words in my head a million times.

Finally, the doctor that had stopped me previously, walked out to me slowly. I already knew what he was going to say by the sad look in his eyes. He put his hand on my shoulder and looked over at the family and pulled me further away from them.

"Miss Lola, is it?" I nodded. "I'm sorry. We did absolutely everything in our power to help him, but we couldn't bring him back." The doctor paused when he saw the tears pour out of my eyes. He took a deep breath and continued. "He had somehow lacerated his liver completely in half during the accident. He didn't have a chance. I'm so sorry. If there's anything we can do…" I held up my hand and stopped him. The last thing I needed was pity.

"Thank you. Can I see him one last time?" I whispered. He nodded and pointed to the room where my son's lifeless body was. I walked slowly to the door and walked in. The nurses were taking out the I.V. needles from his arms and they looked at me with sad eyes. They started to speak and I held up my hand and shook my head. They nodded and walked out, leaving me alone with my son.

Tears poured freely out of my eyes. Wiping them was futile. I sat by the bed and held my son's cold hand.

"Will, my baby boy, I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. I wish I could just rewind this day. I wish you didn't have such a reckless man as a father. Now you have beaten me to Heaven…" I stopped as I choked on a sob. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. "You go now and find your great grandpa York. He will take good care of you until I get there."

I kissed his pale forehead and made my way out the door. When I looked up from my cold glare at my feet, I noticed the doctor walking away from my family. My mother and Janet started crying. My brothers along with Brian and his brother looked at the floor and held in their own tears. I took a deep breath and held it and they looked up at me. I turned away and fell to my knees and started sobbing uncontrollably.

'This cannot be. Why me? Why now? Why my little boy? What am I supposed to do now?' I let my mind wander as I cried out my soul. I felt like my heart would never mend. It was shattered into a million pieces now. It would be a miracle for anyone to mend it now.