First Fic. well, the first fic I've published. Hope you enjoy it.
The characters here are just borrowed till i bored with them.

The cover wasn't mine.


Elsa tried to held back the tears that threatened to spill. The pain inside never wear as seconds passed away. She still couldn't believe what just happened. She knew this day would come sooner or later. She knew she had to do this for her own sake. But God this was too painful for her. It was too much.

She could feel her body rebelled when she tried to swallow her own sob. But even after she gave all of her strength to contain those sad sounds inside, she would just lose in one try and cracked her wall of defense all over again. And the tears would fall once again to her porcelain cheek. Burning every cell it passed.

She was disgusted at herself. Sobbing uncontrollable like a hyena which had asthma while it laughed. How much tears she gave for him. How much pain she must get through just to get another set of endless pain. She would try to forget, she would try to stand up, she would try to love him again. But God, this was beyond her acapibillity. She was done.

The waterfall beneath her eyes didn't stop when she commanded it to. Streams of agony was still spilling through her already burned skin even after she begged it to stop. Her body was out of her control. Letting every condemned feelings out. She was so done of this shit. She couldn't care less.

"Elsa..." His voice stung her eardrums. How could he call her name in such tone after what he made her through. After the torture of endless pain in endless fight he brought with him from the first time he came to her life. Oh she was so done with it.

But the tears didn't stop. Exactly the opposite, the stream of tears just flowed harder then it was before. The pain only grew more.

"Elsa..." He left her. Elsa kept reminding herself about him. Those tree words became her support of life. A chant that kept her lungs worked for her breath, that kept her brain to function, that kept her heart pumping crimson liquid all over her body. He left her. He left her. He. Left. Her.

"Elsa..." She could see his feet moved one by one, slowly toward her. But she knew better. She knew it was pointless. She knew all his efforts and attempts to lure her is useless. Because she knew better. She knew it all changed a long time ago. She knew, if he stepped one forward, she would step two backward.

It was the pain that kept her alive. The tragic that changed all, changed her too. The tragic that left her by herself, made her realized too. The tragic that kept coming to her, built her wall too. With every wound as it bricks, and the unhealed scars as it cement, her wall was indestructible. Until now.

She would cover her mouth now. She would shut her eyes in agony and misery. She would hug herself for comfort now. She would drain all her energy now. She would fall to and endless blackness now. She would fall. She would fall slowly to his arms again.

But she wouldn't. She wouldn't. She had to show him. Show him.

Show him that they lost it all. They lost everything they have. She lost it. He lost it. The warmth between them, the sweetness in their lips, the desire that fire up their souls. It was all gone. Long gone.

"Els..." She wanted, she could, and she would show him. How much their lost was. How much misery she had kept all these years. How much pain he gave her. Infected her world of dreams with his black poison when he left her. Yes, she would.

"Els..." She remembered the first time she realized their world had been infected. How she felt him drove away from her, no. How she knew he drifted away from their seas of dreams. She knew he put the ink on the milk. She still could remember how the blackness spread and covered the white. She knew he did it. He infected her.

The picture of her, and him. Fighting through the storm. Paddling with every energy they have. Oh how they tried to overcome it. How they swam through the huge waves that destroy their ship. How they drowned into sea of suffer and pain in one dove. And they never resurface. Because one of them was already drowned to the bottom of the sea. And it was her.

She remembered how she broke one night. How she lost herself in misery and despereate. How she screamed to her lungs. How she let everything out. How her tears pooled on her lap. How he reacted. Oh she couldn't forget how he reacted. She remembered they cried together. Cried at each other. Blaming each other. Until they lost themselves. And lost the fight.

"Please..." How he begged was the same as that time. How he easily changed his mind and thought she would come to his embrace once more. She made a mistake, and she wouldn't do it again.

Their breath was the only sound in the room. Her sobs quieted a bit, but he still could see her trembling shoulders. He still could hear her choked breath. He still could feel her.

But she wouldn't let him. She wouldn't let him to do it again. To repeat the good-pain pattern and made a sequel of their love story where she would be dead before chapter 1 ended. She needed to show him.

Yes, they had some good times. Yes they were once pure and innocent. They were full with love and passion. They had memorable memory, when they still look at each other eyes with passion, when they still holding hands in care, and kiss beneath the moonlight in love. But it had won. The hatred and anger had won.

"Please Els...I don't know what to do! I...I need you. I need you to continue. I need you to live. I need you." He said it easily. He said it so easy like he didn't care about her. He only said it for him. Only for himself. She would remember how arrogant he was.

"I'm sorry Els...I'm sorry for everything. I'll make it up for you. Please don't leave me. Please tell me what should I do?!" To be honest she herself didn't know what should he do. He had hurt her that much. She didn't know again. She couldn't think.

All of sudden all of her anger, her hatred, her dissapointment, her sadness, gathered on one point inside her. Boiling her from inside. Like a bomb that could blow in every second.

"Snow-"

"STOP IT!" She finally lost it again. He finally struck by lightning again. They were on their sinking ship once again.

"Stop it." She said again with much lower voice. She was still hugging herself for comfort. The tears was still flowing on her cheek. But her eyes, those blue sapphire eyes didn't quiver as it gazed right trough his striking blue orbs.

"This..this is..tragic. I never..never wanted us to be like this." She said with a deep breath to prevent her trembling body interrupt. This is the moment she waited. This is it.

"You choose lust...when you decieved me. And you are begging..begging for my forgive..and said..said you regret it. You...regret everything." She inhaled more deep breaths and she could see fear in is eyes. But this is for the best. At least for her.

"But how could..how could I...how could I trust you again?!" The bomb had blown. And Jack would get the most painful blow.

"After what you've done to me?! You want me to trust you again?! NO! NO, JACK! NO!" She screamed in rage and frustation. She couldn't concentrate her view because her own tears was pooling all over her eyes. She felt her chest getting heavier and heavier than it was before.

"Our world.." Her shaky breath sent her tears back down to her cheeks, and completely fell to the floor beneath her.

"Our world has been infected jack. And I tried. We tried. But..you..you neglected me Jack. You left me." She wanted close her eyes and wipe all of these tears. But she wanted to show him. She wanted him to see her true self.

"And now we're here. In our..in..our tragic life. We've lost it all jack." Her sobs became uncontrollable again as she remembered her past with him. All of it. She lost all of it.

"We've lost it all Jack." Oh boy how shocked he was. She could see it in his eyes. Hurt.

"My..guardian."

She lost it all. He lost it all. They lost it all. It was all gone.

"You lost me."


Inspired by Christina Aguilera - You Lost Me.

Thank you for reading :)