"The way dreams evaporate when they come true
To anyone else just endless blue"
Beth Orton- "Pieces of Sky"
………………………………………
"Sweetheart?"
"Hmm…?" she murmurs, her voice muffled by the pillow she is clutching.
"I am here..."
She opens her eyes and turns only to bet met by a cool and dark gaze, his pale face shrouded in darkness, as Bill looks down at her. For a split second, she feels disconnected from her surroundings and though she is aware that she is looking up at Bill, her mind is still reeling from the heated blue gaze that had invaded her dreams.
"Oh."
It certainly isn't the response that Bill was looking for, she can tell. Even in the shadow of night, his lips form a thin line and she can feel his entire body stiffen when just seconds ago his hands had been so busy caressing her hair. He said could feel her emotions, something he'd been able to do since he'd given her his blood to save her life from the Rattray's brutal beating. She remembers him telling her that he would forever be able to find her and feel her- whether she wanted to or not. She has to admit that it feels oddly like an invasion to her mind and she wonders if her discomfort similar to what others feel when they are around her. The sudden anxiety that hits her when she recognizes that Bill was not the source of her desire tonight cools her like a cold bucket of water. Mentally kicking herself for that brief moment of hesitation when she realized it was Bill in her bed, she reaches up to him and touches the crease of his lips in an attempt to smooth them into a smile.
Bill bends down to kiss her, his mouth a little to rough for her liking, as she arches up to meet his body. She surprises Bill when she responds to his kiss by clutching handfuls of his hair and pulls him even closer, allowing him to crush his lips with hers.
It's his fault, she thinks. All these absences lately, the annoying computer, and their recent trip to Fangtasia are all fault. It doesn't help that she feels annoyed at being woken by him and then the disturbing disappointment in seeing Bill in her bed instead…
But who else would it be, Sookie?
He releases her from their kiss as she strains to catch her breath, her lips pink and raw from the onslaught of his kiss. His fingers are slowly taking their time in unbuttoning her black pants and she finds herself wondering that her clothes are still carrying the smell of fried food - the result of being a waitress in a bar that specializes in anything fast and fried. She had come home from work, exhausted by the long shift and had fallen straight into bed when she had realized that Bill was nowhere in sight. But he was here now, taking his time with her clothes and laying gentler kisses on her jaw and neck. Later, he would follow those kisses with his fingers, tracing down her arm and then slipping his hands under her shirt until he cupped her breasts. He would take off her shirt only to place a few more reverent kisses down her neck and even lower while she would work with the buttons on his. Once it was out of the way she would enjoy the feel of his back, cool skin slowly warmed by the heat of her own, and she would trace her fingers up higher to clutch handfuls of his blonde hair and she'd drown in the blue of his eyes…
Shit!
His kiss on her neck stops, the cool lips sending a shiver down her body.
"Something wrong?" It's barely even a whisper but his mouth is close to her ear and she can feel it echo through her mind. It's the same question she's been asking herself for a while now.
She manages a small shake of her head before she turns her face to kiss his lips, glad that it is dark and that she can't see his expression well (though he can surely see hers). She wants this. Time has been scarce and it's stupid of her to spoil it with nonsense. He's here with her now…
Bill continues to kiss his way down her neck, in that same routine she had come to love and expect. There were no thoughts to worry about, only the silence in her mind, save for the sound of his lips against her skin. It relaxed her. She gave herself over to his kisses, her skin beginning to tingle with anticipation for what was to follow.
And then, nothing did.
It was so sudden that she had to open her eyes to see if something had gone wrong. Maybe she was dreaming again? But Bill was still there, sitting on her bed though he was digging in his pocket to pull out his cell phone, vibrating stubbornly as the little screen lit up the room. He says nothing though he excuses himself from her with an apologetic stare and gets up from the bed to hold a conversation away from her. She flops back down on the bed, frustrated about their interruption. She can barely hear his conversation as he walks down the hall and into the living room. Whatever it is, it's important and has obviously killed his mood for the remainder of her evening.
She wants to understand and though she has no idea what Bill does when he is not with her, he must have some semblance of a job if he is able to live as comfortably as he does. She only wishes he trusted her enough to tell her more about him. It's not the first time he's done this and she knows she'll have to spend the evening alone. So it's not surprise when he comes back into her bedroom, phone still in hand and clothes back in order. He excuses himself and promises to return. There are matters which I must attend to, he says, before he walks out of her room. He leaves her cold and in the dark.
She's alone with her thoughts for the rest of the evening and it's not something she is particularly happy about. Before she realizes it, her thoughts have gone back to the source of her dream; she is thinking of the first time they began and trying to find a reason why.
Bill had been busy all evening working on the closet of her old room that night, determined to finish it before dawn. Her life had been in constant danger since she had met him and had nearly been killed by Rene. Instead she had lost her grandmother to that lunatic when he had broken into her home. Bill insisted on creating a sleeping space to spend the days when it was too late for him to go home after Sookie turned down his offer to move into the old Compton manor.
That evening, she'd gotten a last minute call from Sam to fill in for Arlene (her son, Coby, had gotten a nasty fever) and was putting the finishing touches on her makeup when Eric came knocking on her door.
It was an odd visit and though she was not as terrified of him as she had been the first night she met him, it was unsettling that he'd managed to find out where she lived. Had Bill told him? Doubtful. Then again this was Eric, the same one who had managed to find out which hospital she was staying in and had sent out a flower arrangement that had stood out amongst all her other gifts- more for it's strangeness than it's beauty. It was truly something she hadn't expected from someone whom the last time she had seen, had staked one of his kind without so much as a blink. She was sure that if she had stayed a minute longer in his office that night at Fangtasia, she would have been nothing more than a midnight snack to the hungry, blood-lusting vampires. She had a half a mind to kick him out of her when she remembered that he had also sent that fangbanger Desiree to Bill as a gift shortly after that night. But her promise to help him whenever he wished (as long as he followed her conditions) still rang in her head and she knew he would not let go of such a valuable new asset. Bill had warned her that Eric had been intrigued by her and she was in too deep already. That cold dip into his mind still gave her shivers.
So maybe it wasn't so strange that the vampire that had managed to find out the hospital she was in would also soon discover where she lived. She was after all, Bill's neighbor, and she had a promise to fulfill.
She let him into her home, unsure whether it had been a good idea to do so as soon a she saw a satisfied smirk play across his face. He looked at the floor, the ceiling, the walls and all the frames filled with what had been a happy smiling and quaint little family once upon a time. Of all things to fuss about, she was worried that the house was not in the best condition to be receiving anyone. As a matter of fact, she had just run out of TrueBlood so she had none to offer to her unwelcome guest either. Gran would be ashamed, vampire or not. Gran had always been polite to Bill, as if the fact that he was a vampire was nothing more than an interesting quirk. Would she have been as welcoming to Eric?
She tried to make small talk, explain that Bill would be back soon from the supply store and the she would have to leave for work as soon as he did. Eric nodded along quietly, watching her intently as she shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. She didn't like it one bit that without saying much he still managed to have the upper hand in the conversation. He was the one making her uncomfortable in her own home!
"I didn't have the chance to say thank for the flowers. I didn't know if I should have sent a card to Fangtasia, through Bill, or just called…" she trailed off.
"I see you healed well. I am sorry that Bubba wasn't much help."
"I guess he was the one that let you what happened?" There was no other possible way to explain how Eric had known of her near-death experience that night when Bill himself had not been there. Eric's nod confirmed this. "Does he work for you too?" The idea of such a legendary icon working for a former Viking vampire would have been laughable had she not seen Bubba with her own eyes.
"He is under my domain, yes. He was quite taken with you it seems. He has been speaking highly of you," Eric smiled at this and it was hard not to smile back in return. Bubba wasn't like any other vampire she had met before and though he was no longer himself, it was good to know he liked her. She sure didn't have a lot of fans these days.
Eric sat on her old ratty couch, arms spread out wide, as he relaxed into it. She half expected for him to prop his feet up on the coffee table though he never did. It was hard to relax around Eric when he looked so out of place in her living room. He asked about Rene, much to her surprise, and she found herself recalling once again the recent events, fully aware that he was watching her silently like a cat studying a shiny new toy.
He asked her about her family, how many were left and if she kept contact with any of them still. It wasn't hard to see that he wasn't exactly interested in her family save for the mere curiosity of where she had inherited her unique ability. But in no time, she was regaling Eric with the tale of how her parents died and stopped when she realized that she had grown far too comfortable for her own good. She had to admit that she had enjoyed having someone listen to her, whether the subject interested them or not. But blabbing on about her family was dangerous ground and she had to switch over to a safer subject: Bill.
"I'm sure he'll be back in a few minutes, but if you want to leave I can give him a message." She was desperately hoping that Eric took that as a hint to leave though he didn't budge from the couch.
"I am patient enough."
"Listen, I know you're Bill's superior and all but I don't see the need to follow him into my home. Why didn't you go to his house? Or call him?" she snapped once she realized that Eric was probably baiting her, and that he probably didn't even need to speak to Bill after all. Sam would be pretty pissed if she showed up late…
"But he was here and according to you, he will back soon. I have some things to discuss with him in person." He leaned forward and clasped his hands together, looking up at her innocently. "However, I am surprised he told you I was his superior."
"Is it forbidden to tell me?"
"No, though it is preferable for humans to stay out of our politics. It's interesting for Bill to admit to it, of course. He's been proving to be a bit impossible as of late with his new position and all. What else did he confide in you?
She looked out the window and prayed desperately that Bill would hurry up. It was bad enough that she had let Eric into her home and had proceeded to go on talking about vampire politics that would surely get her into more trouble. Feeling hopeless, she sat down on the recliner facing him, glad that there was some distance between them.
"Just that you were older than him- stronger," she answered "No big revelations or anything. Something about how it all works by age? The older the more powerful and whatnot."
"Yes, something like that- though there can always be exceptions. Some of the ancients don't like being in a position of power and let the younger ones take the reins."
"Are you one of the ancients? Bill mentioned you were far older than him."
"Hardly, I've only been around for what could count as millennium. There are others who are far older, though none the wiser, it seems."
His answer surprised her. She was really expecting that he'd be angry for her meddling but Eric was being honest and her curiosity did not seem to bother him. It was a good trait, honesty. It was remarkable to believe that there were creatures walking the earth for centuries, living through every important event in history. Like walking text books.
"How old are you exactly?" she asked him. "I mean, how do you guys manage to keep track of your age after such a long time?"
"It's pointless to keep track of time when it could be so irrelevant. We no longer see time as you do. In my time, things were different. Our lives were shorter than they are now and I was already married before your age. It wasn't how long we lived but how we lived that mattered."
"It makes sense. I never though vampires were the kind to celebrate birthdays or anything anyway." She couldn't help but laugh at the idea of a vampire celebrating their birthday. Birthday parties would be pretty boring if you had an eternity to celebrate them.
"Of course," Eric added teasingly, his blue eyes lighting up with mischief, "if I can recall my true age, I'll let you throw me a proper birthday party. If you can agree to be my present, of course. I shall have fun unwrapping you."
She laughed at his suggestion and shook her head in disbelief. She'd had ridiculous and downright rude propositions from men before but trust Eric to throw a cheesy pick up line. He had a snowballs chance in hell of having that opportunity and she should have really felt ashamed for even laughing at it. Still,she couldn't blame him for his honesty.
"No, thanks," she replied, feeling less and less afraid of the Viking that had invaded her living room.
"Eric, what are you doing here?"
She turned her attention to Bill who had come into the room silently, carrying a large plastic bag one hand and a fresh case of TrueBlood on the other. He wasn't all too happy too see Eric lounging on the couch nonchalantly. She was all too happy to excuse herself from the vampires and head out to work.
That night, had been the first night that Eric Northman managed to creep into her dreams. Thankfully, it had also been the only night since then. But as far as dreams went, it had been one of her most interesting ones. He was in her living room again, this time meeting her Gran for the first time and charming her completely off her socks. Like the big bad wolf who is preying on the grandmother, ready to eat her, simply to get to Little Red Riding Hood. And suddenly Eric's fangs popped out while Gran continued to be blissfully unaware of the beast she had invited into her home. The exposed fangs were soon followed by a set of furry ears and a yellow eyes and Gran continued to babble about her wonderful it was to have such a piece of history in her home. A Viking, for goodness sake! He devoured her grandmother, her blood spilling on the floor as he tore through her frail body, gorging himself with blood as he looked up at Sookie ready to make her his next meal.
It had been a disturbing dream, to say the least.
But that was then, when she had hardly known Eric. Her most recent dream now brought her back to that horrible night he went with her to the orgy, where she had been privy to the dark side of humanity. She was very aware of the feel of Eric's body against her, his tongue flicking into her ear. In the heat of the summer, his skin felt faintly cool and she rubbed herself up against him. There was heat everywhere, in the hood of his red Corvette, in the night air, and Eric was like a fresh drink of water that she yearned to gulp down. Her tongue felt dry and she welcomed his kiss with a frenzy that was unknown to her. The words and excuses she told him that night rang hollow in her ears as she yielded to him, many times…
Bill's constant absence was to blame for this. And too many romance novels, she had to admit. It didn't help that having had the experience of kissing someone as experienced as Eric and having seen quite a lot of him had been an added bonus.
Placing the blame for this strange infatuation that her subconscious had found for Eric was easy. Not long ago, she had gone to Fangtasia with Bill to help Eric with new software for his computer. She hadn't wanted to go with Bill but she had to admit that she was oddly curious of how Fangtasia was run without having to worry about angry vampires jumping at her. The other times that she had been there she had been too nervous or too hurt to pay much attention to the inner workings of the strange tourist bar.
The ride home from the vampire band she had gone to see with Bill was a quiet one, sd the silence filled the vehicle and Sookie relaxed in it. She breathed out all the imprints of minds that had filled her brain earlier. It had been a pretty large crowd but the music had nearly drowned out everyone's internal voices until there was nothing but happiness and excitement floating about. No angry thoughts from humans and no blood-lusting vampires either, thank goodness. She leaned her head against the windshield and looked out on the city lights, recognizing the familiar landscape of Shreveport. A few more miles and they'd be back in Bon Temps, ready to cap off the night with a couple of happy (and enjoyable) hours in bed. She closed her eyes for only a few minutes only to open them and see that they were no longer on I-20. She was sure she'd seen this area before though never coming from the west side of town. If memory served her right, soon they'd see the Toys"R"Us and then a little further up, they'd see Fangtasia…
Trust Eric to get in the way of a perfectly good evening once again.
She glanced over at Bill but was unable to discern anything from his stoic face. He was probably not very happy either. Through some crazy and odd vampire hierarchy that seemed out of date for the 21st century, Eric was Bill's superior and probably pulled rank to get them both to come to Fangtasia. He was either spying on them or he'd sensed Sookie near thanks to his nifty new Sookie GPS after having her blood.
"Does he want me to do something for him again?" The question seemed unnecessary but she had to ask to brace herself for the evening.
"No." Bill kept his eyes on the road though he stole a quick glance to smile reassuringly at her.
She felt herself relax at this and hoped that Eric wouldn't need her help anytime soon. She'd had enough with the antics in Dallas for the time being. "Good. Last time I nearly got myself killed."
They got out of the car only to see that Pam was already waiting outside for them. They entered through the back door of the bar as she led them into Eric's office. Things were slowing down at Fangtasia as they are about to close but the music could still be heard pumping into the tiny hall Pam was leading them through. Eric was in his office, arms crossed as he looked at the computer screen before him as if waiting for something to happen.
"Good to see you, Sookie," he looked up at her and smiled for all he was worth. He was quick to notice of how the jeans hugged her curves in all the right places and how her top clung to her breasts, she could literally feel the heat of his gaze. It was hard not to blush. "Bill," Eric nodded to him and then looked back at the screen. "This keeps giving me an error sign. Pam and I have been trying to figure out what we're doing wrong…"
Bill walked over to Eric's desk and both of them proceeded to talk about software and computers and a whole bunch of stuff that flew over Sookie's head. Both of them were very much like little boys, fussing over a new game and trying to figure out how to make it work. With nothing else to occupy herself with, she sat down on the black leather couch where she had nearly died the last time she had been there. She looked around the room, noticing the sword on the wall behind Eric and all the little knick knacks scattered across his desk. There was a poster of Bubba on the left side of the wall, back when he still a human, dressed in his white jumpsuit in his famous pose and she couldn't help but smile. Eric caught her smiling, no doubt thinking she was smiling at him, and winked at her behind Bill's back. Meanwhile, Bill's face was engulfed by the light from the screen as he clicked, and clicked, and clicked some more.
A short while later, Pam came into the office announcing that the bar was no empty for the remainder of the evening.
"Take Sookie to the bar and let her have a drink," Eric instructed Pam as he took his attention from the computer screen, "On the house, of course." He said before dismissing both of them from his office.
Sookie looked to Bill and he met her eyes and nodded in approval.
"Come along,"Pam motioned with her fingers and turned around, not waiting for Sookie to follow.
"I hate those things," Pam said once Sookie had served herself a full glass of water and seated herself on one of the booths in the bar. Pam's remark caught her off guard and she had to ask her what she was referring to exactly.
"Those computer machines. They say it makes things easier but Eric and I have been trying to figure out how to set up the infernal rooster for the employees. Finally, we just gave up and Eric had me call Bill. It was quite amusing to see him admit that he needs Bill's help with those things." She tugged at the long black sleeves of her dress until she gave up and rolled them to her elbows. "Had we known Bill was going to bring you along, he would have called him sooner. My dear telepath, you are quite the treat," Sookie smiled nervously at Pam's attempt at a compliment.
The bar was entirely empty and though the music was still playing, it was quiet in the foreground, no longer blasting through the speakers. It was only Belinda, Ginger, and another new waitress closing for the night and all three were dead tired and wanting to go home. Sookie spent a couple of minutes talking to Pam about the bar before Pam had to excuse herself to talk to the new girl about her new schedule for the week. That left Sookie alone to wander around the bar, taking in every little detail now that she had the chance. Up ahead was the throne that Eric sat on, the most popular tourist draw of Fangtasia. She was sure that many of the visitors flocked only to get a glimpse of him in his full glory. Sookie walked up to it and noticed the intricate carvings on the wood, tracing her fingers over it. When she looked out to the bar from her view up top, she saw an amused Eric gazing up at her from the floor below.
"Enjoying the view from up there?" he asked.
"It's kind of creepy, actually," she shrugged, and looked around her. "Do you really enjoy sitting here for hours 'enthralling the vermin'?"
He roared with laughter as he walked up to the throne and sat on it. "I see you have been talking to Pam," he looked up at Sookie and grinned, "It can be tedious at times but I find certain fantasies to be quite entertaining as of late." He licked his lips as his eyes trailed up her body.
She looked away from him and fussed with her purse so that he wouldn't be able to see her cheeks redden. It was a relief to see Bill emerge from the office to break the awkward silence between them.
"Everything should be working now," Bill said stiffly. "The software you were running was outdated and you need to invest in a good virus protection program if you are going to put any vital information in the system. Everything should be in order now."
Eric rose from his throne to his full height and walked over to Bill, "Show me then."
All three of them went back inside the office as Eric sat in front of the screen with Bill on his left, looking intently at everything that Bill did and memorizing it. Pam joined them soon after and all three vampires' eyes glittered with the light from the screen. Finally, Eric leaned back into his chair beaming with triumph and put his arms behind his head. It was hard not stare at the way his shirt hugged his physique. Bill was happy too, she noticed. Pam looked at Sookie and rolled her eyes at Eric's and Bill's grinning faces. Her expression said it all: Boys!
Their little short visit to Fangtasia had proven to be startlingly enjoyable. She had only minutes to spare with Bill by the time they got home but neither of them seemed to care.
But now she was still in bed, alone and looking out through her window at the naked trees swaying in the windy night. The night feels colder this time and she wishes Bill was by her side. She had been looking forward to spending cozy evenings alone in the winter, glad that the night would last longer. He's been busy lately; too busy to pay attention to her despite her attempts to keep him entertained. There have been phone calls, too many of them, and that computer that keeps him glued to the screen from dusk to dawn. It's the inevitable speed bump in their relationship that she had always heard from couples. But if they loved each other, they could work through this, they could find ways. Her mind wanders, trying to find something that will keep her thoughts in check and relax her from a long hard day at work but instead it reverts back to Eric. Yield to me, she can still hear him whisper in her ear.
She's sure she's playing with fire by even entertaining the fantasy but it's only in her imagination. What damage could that do? She loved Bill and that was all that mattered to her.
…………………………………………………..
He was gone…
She had found Jason but she had lost Eric, a trade-off that seemed unfair. He was nowhere to be found when she returned home with a wounded Jason. Silly of her… why would he even choose to stay? To wait for her? How selfish could she be? All along, she had known things would not end well between the two of them. He had obligations, higher ambitions than to be her love-sick puppy clinging to her every word. She had known this all along. Why did the obvious outcome still hurt so much?
That night, she dreamed of him again. He was not a predator in her home, waiting to attack her grandmother like some warped Little Red Riding Hood dream… Nether was it a frenzied mess of pent up lust having her burst at the seams. He was holding her as they sat naked in front of the fire, both of their skin warm to the touch. They were talking about Gran and Jason and the loneliness she suffered. Laughing at how despite her reluctance, they had ended up together. His arms were holding her against him, his chin resting on her head as she relaxed into him, both sated and happy. Time was truly irrelevant then.
She snuggled into the covers of her now empty bed, the room a pitch black, while the snow curled and beat at her window. Nothing could ever truly remain the same between all of them after this. It broke her heart to see that she was no longer at the mercy of her dreams and was instead haunted by the ache of her memories.
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I really like the song with this so I had to borrow the title. I wrote this pretty quickly before I gave up on it so forgive any mistakes. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it!
