A Misguided Attempt at Hollywood
By Elaina
Fred: Bonjour (?) and welcome to our movie! Since George and I are tired of little to no page time, we decided to film a movie...
George: It stars us (praise the Lord) with Harry and company as the supporting * evil grin * characters, plus some Fanfic authors that we threw in to make things interesting, AND the Spanish/French speaking chandelier (á la Ahhh...What Should I Say by, Sandry)
(Insert Elaina) Elaina: Ack! A cliché! (Exit Elaina)
Fred: Oy...I think we're playing with fire here.
George: Aren't we always?
Fred: ...
(All of a sudden, the plain white room that Fred and George have been standing in is replaced with a movie set of the Great Hall. All the HP characters appear, along with Katie Bell, Kate S, Flourish, Merlyn, Morrigan, Slytherin Dragon, Twist, Hermione C, and Celeste Wilkans. Alanna, Sandry and Tris are in a corner with the chandelier)
Tris: Does it know more French, or Spanish?
Alanna: Comment allez-vous? Je suis trés bien...
Sandry: After a day with her? I think French...
George: * snickers *
Fred (now speaking through a bull horn): Everybody have a copy of the script? \
All: Yes...unfortunately.
George (also speaking through a bull horn): Spiffy. Now turn to page one. As you can all see the first line belongs to Ron...* goes off on a 30 min. tirade *
(Everybody falls asleep. Filch is snoring loudly)
Alanna: * starts jumping up and down screaming hysterically because the chandelier finally responded *
All: *wakes up * Bravo * rolls eyes *
George: ...so now that I've explained everything, let's get started!
(Everybody begins to grumble loudly, and then takes their places)
Fred: Right. Lights! Camera! Action!
(Credits Roll)
Ron: Oh, my love my beauty...
(Hermione is sitting in an armchair in front of the fire, reading a book. Ron is on the stairs spying on her)
Ron: Hey!
George: Cut! Just keep reading.
(A bunch of toads falls from the sky)
Harry: Was that supposed to happen?
Snape: Great! Now all we need to make a confusious draught is...
Neville: * screams *
(A giant window appears hovering in midair, and Elaina climbs through it)
Draco: It just gets better every minute...
Elaina: * ignoring Draco * George!
Fred: * sniggers *
George: Elaina? Erm... Hello...Nice weather we're having, isn't it?
(Alanna chooses this moment to jump up out of her corner and embrace Fred)
George: * sniggers *
(Gypsy falls out of the ceiling and lands on the pile of toads)
Fred: This has gotten out of hand...
Katie Bell: Can't we just get this over with?
Flourish: Actually, I enjoy these clichés.
Morrigan: * face vault * Now that's an interesting point of view...
Flourish: Just kidding.
George: OK, everybody BACK to your places.
Ron: Why are we in the Gryffindor Common Room? I mean, we did start in the Great Hall...
(Fred and George are silent for a few moments)
George: Script Changes.
All: * sighs *
Fred: Lights! Camera! Action! (Again)
Ron: Oh my love, my beauty. All other women are crows in comparison to you, my beloved Hermione, a tropical...bird? * Falls to the floor laughing hysterically * Oh! This is too much! All other women are crows compared to Hermione? I wish...
Hermione: Hey!
Harry: * also laughing * Who wrote this JUNK!!!
Fred and George: Gee, I wonder.
Merlyn: You know, I really have to get home...
Fred: OK, start again!
Ron: do I have to say that again?
Fred: Of course y...
George: Let's not push it. Just start where you left off.
Ron: that would be Harry's line.
George: Whatever.
Harry: RonIthoughtyousaidyouwouldn'tgooutwithHermioneif...
Fred: Annunciate!
Harry: * groans * (very slowly and devoid of all emotion) Ron. I thought you said you wouldn't go out with Hermione if your life depended on it.
Hermione: Grrrr...
George: People! Can't you at least get the first scene right?
Kate S: Do we have to?
(Hermione/Mew steps through an archway that appears in one of the walls)
Hermione/Mew: I won't ask.
All: Don't.
George: Should we move on to the next scene?
Fred: I'm defiantly thinking yes...
All: We want to go home! We want to go home! We want to go home!
Fred and George: * screams *
All: Attack!!!
~*~*~*~
(30 min. later, Fred and George are slumped against the wall of the white room, covered in bruises and bloody cuts. All the characters and authors have mysteriously vanished.)
Fred: Oy...
George: Who knew they'd be so touchy?
Fred: *sighs *
George: * sighs *
Fred: So... what should we do next?
George: Maybe we should just stick with Weasley's Wizard Wheezes from now on...
~*Finis*~
A/N: Heh Heh. I'm evil, aren't I?
