Disclaimer: I own nothing :(
So here's another angsty bit. I guess the angst bug that bit me left a little more in my system that anticipated. Hope everyone likes it okay! As always, reviews are appreciated :)
Penelope walked lazily through the aisles of the bookstore, sipping her latte as she went. Derek's birthday was coming up and she still had no idea what to get him. Her best friend and she was absolutely blanking on the right gift for him. "Oh, Derek why do you have to be so impossible to shop for?" she muttered to herself as if hoping his voice would sound in her head with an answer.
"Shopping for a friend?" a voice sounded from behind her.
Turning around, Penelope found a handsome looking, yet geeky sort of man grinning at her. She smiled back and nodded. "Yeah," she said, taking his image in. Despite his wardrobe that bore a striking resemblance to Spencer Reid's and he wasn't ripped like the man she truly wanted, he was very handsome and she couldn't stop starting at him. "He's practically the hardest person to shop for in the world."
"Well maybe I could help you," he said. "I'm an English grad student."
Penelope smiled. "Oh! Well, he's not really a big reader, but his favorite author is Vonnegut," she explained. "If you know of anything like that he might like it."
"Something tells me you're so pretty he'll love anything you give him," he said sweetly.
She laughed. "Oh, thank you…"
"Jackson. Jackson Smith," he said, sticking his hand out to shake hers. "And you are?"
She shook his hand. "I'm Penelope Garcia," she said. She enjoyed the feeling of his hand in hers; though it was softer than Derek's and less calloused, she still liked how it felt. "So, what do you think I should get him?" For another hour she let Jackson guide her around the store, helping her find things with similarities to Kurt Vonnegut. He was extremely funny and kind to her, laughing even when he didn't understand her jokes she made about computers. When she had finally checked out, she said, "Thanks, Jackson." She held up the bag for emphasis. "I think he's really going to like these."
As Penelope turned to go, Jackson said, "Hey Penelope?" She turned around and smiled at him again. "Would you maybe come on a date with me?"
A shot of fear dragged Penelope back down memory lane at that moment. She found herself drawn to Battle and how he'd asked her on a date, only to shoot her right in front of her apartment. Should she trust this man who she barely knew at all to be any different? She knew exactly what Derek would say. Baby Girl don't you even think about it!
But to her surprise she found herself saying, "Yes. I'll go on a date with you."
XXXXX
A Few Weeks Later
"Morgan, if you don't do it now, you're never going to get the courage," Emily told Derek as he was pacing in his office. "You just need to go in there, puff out your chest, and ask her out. It's not that hard."
Wringing his hands together, he snapped, "Emily, I really don't think I can do this. I feel like I'm going to throw up."
Standing up, she put her hands on his shoulders to stop him. "Go in there and ask Garcia on a date," she hollered. "Everyone is sick of you not being able to do this when we damn well know you can. So go to her office, knock on her door, and ask her to dinner or whatever the hell else you can come up with."
Derek stopped and nodded a few times. "You're right," he breathed out. "You're right. I can do this."
"Of course I'm right," Emily teased. "Now, go get her so I can be the maid of honor at your wedding."
Taking a few steps outside of his office, Derek made his strides long as he went to Penelope's office. He'd been trying to get the courage up for years and only recently had he decided to do something about his feelings. He watched her every day, wanting to tell her how he felt, but nothing could come from his mouth whenever he tried to say something about his feelings. On the way, he saw JJ and she gave him two thumbs up and a bright grin. Groaning, he knew Emily had spilled the beans to her. Instead of being angry though, he laughed and continued on his way to Penelope's office.
Knocking on the door, he heard her call out, "Enter my lair dear one!"
Smiling, he said as he opened the door, "Hey Sweetness. How'd you know it was me?" He went into her office and smiled when she swiveled her chair around to face him. She was sitting cross-legged and was wearing a brightly patterned dress that accented her curves and a pair of bright red heels on her feet.
"Oh, Sugar don't you know?" she teased. "I have a sixth sense where you're concerned."
He smiled and stuck out his hands for her to take. Pulling her to her feet, he pulled her towards his body and saw her startled face he laughed. "You know something? I've wanted to ask you something."
"Wh-what?" she whispered. Her breathing had grown shallow and she almost gasped as he moved his lips over her to her face. He almost couldn't believe it himself that he was doing this. Just a moment ago he'd been terrified of ever saying anything to her. But this felt so right that he couldn't stop it. He put his lips over hers and kissed her softly. Pulling away from her, he said, "Penelope Garcia, will you go on a date with me? Not as friends, but as something more?"
She looked completely shocked. She looked like she was going to open her mouth and say something, but didn't. She just stood there, still in his arms, shaking slightly. "Penelope, can you say something?" he said softly in her ear.
Putting her hands on his chest, she pushed him away and shook her head. "Derek, I'm sorry," she said softly. "But I can't. I – I just can't."
Feeling his heart break, he felt his mouth fall open a little, but he clamped it shut. He nodded. "Oh, okay," he managed to get out. "Well, I'm going to go, um, see if Hotch needs something. They think we have a case."
She was going to open her mouth and try to explain, but she couldn't say anything more. He was already out the door. And at that moment, she knew she must've just broken his heart. The kiss he'd given her told her everything about his feelings. And for some reason, she thought she'd just broken her own.
XXXXX
Emily watched as Derek downed another Jack Daniels. She, JJ, and Derek had got to the bar after work. After they'd heard about Penelope turning down his request of a date, they'd been extremely confused. They knew she loved him, and the fact that she'd turned him down made them wonder what was going on in her life that she would abandon her hope of being with him. Perhaps she had someone else in her life. Someone not Kevin Lynch.
"You told me she would say yes," he slurred. "You told me she loved me too."
"She does," JJ insisted. "We don't know why she didn't say yes."
Derek snapped in frustration. "Guys, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do!"
"You're going to get off your ass and start trying," Emily said roughly. "You're not trying hard enough." She paused and added, "So we invited her here tonight. We didn't tell you were going to be here too."
Slamming his palm on the table, Derek got up to leave and shouted, "Dammit! Prentiss, JJ why the hell did you do that? She made it very clear she doesn't want to be here! That she doesn't want me!"
JJ put her hand on his arm and said, "That's not true! Maybe she's just scared."
As Derek was about to open his mouth again, Penelope came dashing up, not seeing that Derek was with the girls yet. "Ladies," she said happily. "I have someone coming –" When she saw Derek though, she clamped her mouth shut. "Oh," she said. She sent a scathing look at Emily for not telling her about his presence at the bar. If she had known he was going to be there, she would not have invited Jackson to come meet them.
Derek looked up at her and smiled, trying to not make things awkward. "Hey Bab –" He paused and decided to keep a neutral name. "Penelope." He didn't want things to be uncomfortable, but he knew it would be at least a few days, maybe a few weeks until he could get back to the pet names.
"Hey Morgan," she said softly, sitting down at a stool next to JJ. Now she gulped. Jackson was coming in the door and he saw her across the room, smiling when he did.
"Hey sweetie," he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. He looked around at the rest of the people and gave an awkward wave. "Um, hi."
Penelope felt Derek's gaze boring into her and tried desperately to ignore it as she smiled at Jackson. "Hey there, you," she said softly, pulling Jackson in for a peck on the cheek. She knew it was terrible for Derek, and to some extent it hurt her as well. But she had to make sure her boyfriend didn't see the cracks. "Guys, this is Jackson Smith," she began. "My boyfriend."
Everyone looked like they were shocked. And they were. None of them knew she had a boyfriend. They all assumed she'd remained single after Kevin had walked out on her. Jackson smiled widely and said, "I've heard all about you. I feel like I know you all."
Derek scowled and downed another Jack. "Funny," he said dryly. "We've heard nothing about you."
The whole table went silent. Penelope looked at Derek and glared daggers at him. "You must be Derek Morgan," Jackson said evenly. "You're the one who calls my girl 'Baby Girl' and are her best friend."
Nodding, Derek slurred again, "Your girl, huh?"
But something was puzzling Derek. This guy looked vaguely familiar and he stared at him with interest. It unnerved him. Before he could say anything, Penelope jumped to her feet and grabbed Derek's arm. "I'm going to have a chat with Morgan here," she snapped. "He's drunk. While I'm at it I'm going to call him a cab and take his keys."
Everyone else nodded and said, "Okay."
Yanking him outside of the bar, Penelope pushed against his chest. "What's your problem, Derek?" she demanded. "Why are you being so stupid? Is it because I turned you down?"
"What do you think?" he growled back.
"Derek," she began softly, looking at him with compassion. "I'm sorry. I can't just dump him to go out with you. It's not right."
"Was it right to completely ignore the fact that I told you I love you and then go off with Lynch?" he yelled. "Was that right Penelope? I didn't want to give you up again and now I finally got the courage to tell you what I felt more seriously and you are with someone else. Who you didn't bother to tell me about when you first went out with him. I'm your best friend, Penelope and you couldn't trust me with something like this?"
She felt tears burning in the back of her eyes all the sudden and a few tears roll down her cheeks. "I didn't think you meant it as a lover," she said softly. "I thought it meant as a friend only."
"Well you should've thought harder, Garcia," he said harshly. "I meant every word I said. I love you with every fiber of my being. And watching you with someone else, Lynch or this Jackson fellow, kills me." He paused to move closer to her and pull her towards him. Even though he felt her stiffen, he ran his hands over her cheekbones and said, "And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you realize it." And then he kissed her passionately.
She couldn't stop herself from responding. His kiss, while tasting of whiskey, was filled with longing and she couldn't help but feel the love he had.
But then she remembered her boyfriend and she knew she couldn't do this. Derek was too late. If she and Jackson didn't work out, then maybe she would give him a chance. But until then she had a boyfriend who seemed to be falling in love with her already. So she did what she thought was logical; she pushed him away again. It was the second time in that day. "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't."
And without either of them saying anything, she returned to the bar, leaving him outside still.
