Present season, Cas is hunting with the boys and is reminded of the things he's done. Dean steps up to comfort him. Destiel. Got the idea driving in the car when Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain" came on.
It had been an ordinary demon hunt, something run of the mill to help ease Cas into hunting with the Winchesters again. They were ambushed when they walked into the warehouse by 6 demons, Dean was thankful for the angel because those odds would normally have been pretty unbeatable, unless they had one of Kevin's demon bombs, which they didn't. Dean got jumped by two demons, one cutting his leg up pretty bad, one demon had Sam otherwise occupied, but since Dean had the knife it took him a little longer to take care of it. The other three were occupying Cas. Taunting him, apparently they thought they knew quite a bit about what Cas had done in heaven during his short time as God. It got to him, maybe the demons and maybe even Sam couldn't tell, but Dean could. After they had successfully killed all of the demons, Cas had just walked out, not healing Dean. Now that got both boys attention. Sam wordlessly came over and helped Dean to stand. He couldn't walk on his own, so Sam helped him to the Impala, Cas was already standing nearby. One look at him and Dean wasn't about to ask him to heal him, he was somewhere else entirely, a distant look on his face, those same glassy eyes he had during their conversation in the hotel room when Sam had interrupted them. Dean motioned for Sam to put him in the backseat. Sam quirked his eyebrows but obeyed, not saying anything.
"Cas, take the front seat." Dean's gruff instructions brought Cas somewhat back to himself, at least enough to open the door and climb in the car. Dean sat in the backseat behind his brother, who was now getting in the driver's seat. Dean propped his leg across the seat next to him, stifling the hiss of pain he nearly let slip. He knew the wound wasn't as bad as it could have been, and as soon as Cas snapped out of it he would heal him immediately, he'd have that contrite look like he couldn't forgive himself for not thinking of Dean, and Dean would reassure him that it was fine, that he would be fine. But right now, Dean knew Cas didn't need to be worried about him as well. Dean had gotten a glimpse of what Cas had really been feeling and it was overwhelming. Dean knew that Sam couldn't read Cas as well as he could, and he wasn't sure how much Sam had heard of what was said back there, but judging by the sidelong glances Sam was shooting Cas and he pulled away from the warehouse, he was starting to piece together what was wrong. With Cas simply staring forward, his body language tight, shoulders tense with the weight of the world, the atmosphere in the car was tense, thick with worry. Sam turned the radio on low, with a chuckle he changed the station to something contemporary, knowing Dean wouldn't say anything because of his own rule about the driver picking the music. Dean rolled his eyes at his brother's choice but was thankful for the moment of levity it provided. After a few moments, Sam cleared his throat, Dean knew Sam was about to attempt one of his heart-to-hearts with Cas, Dean also knew he was about to be shut down.
"Cas, if you ever-"
"I quite enjoy this song." Cas said, effectively cutting him off. Cas raised his hand with a slight twisting motion of his fingers, he angel-mojoed the music a little louder so it identifiable. Dean recognized it as Adele, though he would never say that out loud. Just because he didn't listen to contemporary music didn't mean he wasn't aware of it.
I let it fall, my heart
And as it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me
My hands, they're strong
But my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms
Without falling to your feet
Dean thought the song really was beautiful, and it somehow seemed to suit Cas, though Dean was sure Cas mainly brought it up to get Sam to stop talking. Apparently though Sam didn't seem to get the angels not so subtle hint to leave him alone.
Sam started again, "Cas-" he was immediately cut off by Cas using his angel mojo to turn the music up as loud as Dean normally listened to his rock music when was alone in the car. At that volume you could feel it in your chest, reverberating with the bass of the song, causing this random song that Dean had never really paid attention to before to become almost overwhelming with the emotion of this moment in the car. It was powerful, like Cas was using it not only to silence his brother, but to somehow convey something that only Dean would pick up on.
But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you play, you would always win, always win
But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Let it burn while I cry
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
Dean leaned forward to look at Cas' face, he had his eyes closed and leaned back against the headrest, silent tears falling down his otherwise stoic face. He was bracing himself on the car door with one hand, the other gripping the center console like he might fly apart from the pain if he let go. Before he could over think it, Dean's hand came forward to touch Cas gently on the forearm. Cas startled slightly but then visibly relaxed at Dean's touch. Dean could see Sam straining to see what was happening without being obvious. Dean didn't care though, especially when he saw part of the proverbial weight on Cas' shoulders disappear. Cas' hand relaxed on the console, his long elegant fingers going flat on the leather. Dean watched entranced at how his smallest touch affected the angel. Before he had a chance to talk himself out of it, Dean ran his fingers ever so lightly down the length of Cas' arm to his hand. Cas understood what went unspoken and turned his hand over, his pale palm facing up. When Dean entwined their fingers and held Cas' hand, he saw Cas with his eyes still closed take a stuttering breath and slowly exhale.
When laying with you
I could stay there, close my eyes
Feel you here, forever
You and me together, nothing is better
'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win
But I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Let it burn while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
They sat there holding hands, just breathing, listening to the song that Cas said he liked. Dean swore he could feel the pain Cas felt in those moments. So much so that he pointedly ignored the looks Sam shot at him, his eyebrow as high as it could possibly get. It would have been almost comical if he weren't sure of how much Cas needed his friend just then. His friend. That word just seemed too small for Dean's liking. It just didn't begin to describe how he thought of Cas, but if he were really honest with himself, he didn't want to examine exactly how he felt about Cas, or what word was more appropriate. He just knew he had to help Cas, no matter what. He could not handle losing him again.
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt somethin' die, 'cause I knew that
That was the last time, the last time
Sometimes I wake up by the door
Now that you've gone, must be waiting for you
Even now when it's already over
I can't help myself from looking for you
I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Let it burn while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt somethin' die
'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh
Oh, no
Let it burn, oh
Let it burn
Let it burn
When they reached their motel room, Sam turned the car off and wordlessly got out of the car and walked inside, closing the door behind him. Dean and Cas were left alone in the car, a comfortable silence surrounding them, still holding hands. Suddenly Dean felt a warm tingling sensation fill his body, and then his all the pain in his leg disappeared.
"Thanks Cas." Dean said, noting how raw his voice sounded to his own ears.
"Thank you Dean. I know how you feel about…chick-flick moments." Dean knew if he weren't still holding the angels hand, he would have used air quotes just then, it made him smile to himself.
Cas still had his head back and eyes closed. It allowed Dean a moment to just look at his friend, really look at him. The curve of his throat, the full lips, the growth of stubble on the angles of his jaw line. His friend was truly beautiful. Dean had to stop himself there, he didn't want to think about this anymore today. Seeing as they were alone, and he felt somehow safer from sitting behind Cas, Dean allowed himself to do what he wanted before exiting the car and joining his brother inside.
Dean leaned forward, and placed a feather-light kiss to Cas' cheek, from this angle it ended up being more of his jawline, but that's alright, he was sure Cas wouldn't judge him. He never did.
"Anytime Cas." Dean's voice rumbled low right in Cas' ear. Cas chose that moment to open his eyes, and when blue met green it stole Dean's breath away. He had never seen Cas more exposed, and Dean swore he could see everything Cas felt in the depths of his eyes. Under the pain Cas was still obviously feeling was gratitude, elation, and something else. Something that resonated deep inside of Dean, something he couldn't name. It was the same something he often felt around Cas, but seeing it reflected back at him made his heart race. A small smile slowly formed on Cas' face. It was recognition, of everything Dean was thinking and feeling just then. That was also how Dean knew that Cas wouldn't take his withdrawal as a rejection, but rather as a continuation. Dean smiled back and then withdrawing his hand he opened the door and stepped out of the car. Opening the door for Cas, Dean took his hand helped him out, though both of them knew it was unnecessary. Their hands lingered for an extra moment before they headed inside. Though they could both see the looks Sam was giving them, they went about their business as if nothing had happened, not because they were denying anything, but because they didn't care if Sam saw them let their guard down.
This was meant as a one-shot. Hope you enjoyed, please leave a review with your thoughts. If anyone wants let me know, I could continue this. Thank you for reading :)
