Hey guys! This story is going to be a parody of stereotypical fanfictions with different pairings and scenarios. I don't mea. To offend anyone with these; they're just for laughs and model some of the stories I've seen here. I take requests, too! Feel free to leave a review and tell me which pairing or scenario you'd like to see next.
Bade Pregnancy
Beck and Jade are sleeping when OMG Jade screams! 'Beck my water broke oh no!' Beck screams too and leaps out of bed, flying through the air like a magic pony! 'SHIT ON A STICK! IT'S COMING EARLY?!'
They get into the car and drive 200million mph, breaking every single law ever passed! But don't worry, THAT'S OKAY because no one else is on the road! When suddenly! OMFG! They slip on some ice that appeared miraculously and go OUT OF CONTROL! The suspense kills everyone, because we all know that the author will kill Beck and Jade in the second paragraph of a fic! Ahh!
The car SKIDS across the highway and CRASH! It crashes into a huge steamroller because the author pays no attention to the fact that 'no cars were on the road!' Beck and Jade scream and PASS OUT OMFG THIS IS HORRIBLE! The last thing they hear (even though they've already fainted) is the sounds of an ambulance! Because everyone knows that ambulances appear out if nowhere 3 seconds after a car crash happens!
(Line break that a lot of people have no idea how to use! Yay!)
Jades POV hooray!
OMG I hate my life this is horrible! All I see is black and I can't move! I hear doctors all around me but IDK WHAT THEY'RE DOING HELP ME! Where's my love, Beckett James Oliver the 3rd? Oh dear this is bad.
WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY CHILD SHIT
Beck's POV
Even though I am portrayed as an emotionless robot on the show, I suddenly am leaping out of orbit with worry about my unborn child and my wife! (Wait, they're married?) Even though I was driving the car that hit the huge steamroller, I am perfectly fine! It's Jade I'm worried about!
'Beckett?' the doctor called. 'We have to talk to you about your wife and child.'
Why does everyone call me Beckett? My name is BECK!
I follow the nameless, genderless doctor into a clean white room! There is no furniture besides a desk. There is a gorgeous window in the corner with a lake view. The lake is an aquamarine color and has many tiny little fishies swimming in the shallows. The window was about 2 feet wide and 70 feet long. (Since the author hasn't described anything else in detail, he or she decides to describe a room that has no point in the story.)
Oh yeah, back to the actual plot line! The doctor tells me, 'Jade had her baby a few seconds ago! She was only in labor for a minute or so. The baby is a BOUNCING BABY GIRL YAY CONGRATS! She's fine even though she had a car accident moments before birth! The baby is 20 pounds 30 ounces and 50 inches long! Even though she was premature! Oh btw she was in a coma but EVERYTHING'S ALL GOOD NOW!' (AN- lolz guise sry ik notin bout pregnacys or babys and cooodnt b bothrd to google anythng!)
I jumped for joy and leaped into Jade's hospital room to celebrate with her! She was holding our baby girl who was like super adorable! Jade put the baby down on the floor to give me a large hug and a SUPER PASSIONATE KISS! We continued until our nameless baby cried because she was tired and hungry and bored and needed her diaper changed! Our baby screamed her first word and sentence only an hour after birth! She said 'Mommy like pwease stop making out with daddy and get over here to come change me!'
We stared into each others eyes that were filled with joy and love, even though our baby had pretty much just been a jerk to us. Still ignoring the baby, I whispered to Jade, 'What are we naming this precious adorable angelic cherub of a child?' She replied, 'Definitely a stereotypical name of a gemstone like Ruby or Pearl or Opal, because then they can match my name! Original, eh?' I replied, 'Sure, but don't say eh. I'm the Canadian in this family.'
We went home without signing release papers and ran off to start our own family!
No one's POV
...
Jade's POV (10 years later)
Our baby is all grown up and adorable and our family is perfect! Yay!
AN- lol guise thx for reeding my stori! Sry if it's a TEENY bit OOC! And if sum of da facts r rong cuz idk much about babys lolz! Ttyl yo plz read (bcuz u haven't alrdy) and REVIEW!
Haha so that's that! Please review with the pairing and/or scenario that you would like me to write next! This WILL be a multi-chapter fic! Until next time- bye!
