Truly, Madly, Deeply Chapter 1

-O-

DISCLAIMER: I am not connected to Emmerdale and its characters, which belong to ITV

-O-

He sat on his bed with his head in his hands: the words still ringing in his ears, "Not guilty!"

Aaron's tears streamed down his face: his world had been shattered. For months, he had been hoping that his father would be sent down for abusing him as a child and now all the pain and suffering counted for nothing. He had to give credit where credit was due: Gordon Livesy had put up a very convincing display in court, proclaiming his innocence. Aaron, of course, knew better. He knew that his father's accusations of 'false memories' were totally untrue, but it was Aaron's word against Gordon's. The judge had advised the jury that they needed to be absolutely certain that Livesy Senior had carried out the hideous crime that he had been accused of, if they were to reach a guilty verdict.

All of that was scant consolation for Aaron: he felt let down by the judicial system and embarrassed that everyone in the village knew that he had said that Gordon had raped him as a child. He was now worried that people would shun him and claim that he had made it all up. He stood up, opened a drawer and found a fresh razor blade. He lifted his shirt and was about to put the edge of the blade to his stomach when Robert suddenly barged into the room and immediately saw what he was doing.

"Aaron...NO!" Robert launched himself at his boyfriend and wrestled the blade away from him. Aaron heard his own pitiful scream coming from somewhere inside him and Robert scooped him into his arms and just let Aaron sob into his chest, making his shirt wet from the flood of tears.

"W-w-why did you stop me?" Aaron gulped between tears.

"Because it's wrong," Robert reasoned, "Because I love you and I can't stand the thought of you killing yourself, like you nearly did the last time!"

Aaron was still blubbing, "I don't care...I wish I was dead anyway!"

Robert released Aaron from his grasp, but still clung on to his broad shoulders and looked at him, "You don't mean that. I know it has hit you hard that Gordon has been let off, but this changes nothing. Anyone who knows you can see that you were telling the truth about that scumbag. I'm still here for you, your mum's still here for you: even Cain is still here for you. You're not alone, Aaron."

Aaron took comfort from his boyfriend's words, but he was still in a dark mood, "I can't stand the thought of him coming round here and gloating...calling me a liar! I just can't stand it, Robert!"

Robert pulled his boyfriend into another embrace, "He wouldn't dare come round here. The Dingle's will still be after his blood and so will I. You've got nothing to be afraid of, Aaron: those of us who really know the truth won't let him anywhere near you."

Aaron looked into Robert's eyes, his own puffy ones looked a mess, but he didn't care. He suddenly realised that Robert was now his rock and he moved to kiss him, but his boyfriend pulled away. Aaron's hurt expression nearly broke his heart, but he felt that Aaron was at his most vulnerable right at that moment and he did not want to take advantage of him.

Robert cleared his throat, he was a bit choked up with emotion, "Aaron, I want you to know something, I love you so much but it wouldn't be right for me to kiss you right now. You are in a bad place and you need to sort your head out before we go any further with our relationship. I want you to know that I'll always be here for you and I'll never let you down. Why don't you have a shower and then get to bed: you'll feel better in the morning."

"Will I?"

"Yeah, 'course you will. We'll get though this, Aaron."

Robert felt uneasy about Aaron's attempt to harm himself again, but he left him to take a shower while he walked downstairs to see Chas.

He found Aaron's mum in the Woolpack back room. He could see that she had been crying as her eyes were still brimming with tears and a tear would occasionally roll down her cheek. She looked at Robert as he entered the room and knew that he had been upstairs with her son, "How is he feeling?" she asked.

"Not good, Chas," Robert answered and he did not see the point in hiding anything, "I just managed to stop him from cutting himself," he held up the razor blade which he had confiscated from Aaron.

"Oh God!" Chas sank into a chair and her tears started to flow freely again.

"It's alright," Robert felt that he had scared Chas unnecessarily, "I caught him just in time. He's having a shower so I thought I'd pop down and let you know the situation."

Chas looked at Robert through a veil of tears. A one time, she did everything in her power to keep Robert away from her son, but now she could see how much Robert Sugden loved her lad and she was actually grateful to him for his support, "Thanks, I'm glad you're looking out for him."

"Always," Robert replied, "I know you don't trust me and I understand why, given the way I've behaved in the past, but I love him, Chas. He's everything to me and I want to prove that to him...and you," Robert paused for breath, "Anyway, I'd better get back upstairs and keep an eye on him. I'll stay in his room with him tonight...no funny business...I'll sit in the chair and watch over him."

Chas was touched. Robert was proving himself and she could tell that he was being genuine, "Thanks love: that will be a big weight off my mind."

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Robert fidgeted in his chair in Aaron's room as he sat, fully clothed, in the chair, watching Aaron tossing and turning in his bed. Robert was dog tired but he was afraid to drop off in case Aaron gave him the slip and harmed himself again.

Although he was exhausted, Aaron's demons were not allowing him to sleep either. At two o'clock in the morning, Aaron looked at Robert in the dim light from the bedside lamp, "Why don't you join me...over here." He patted the mattress.

"No, I'm okay here thanks," Robert answered.

"No you're not, you keep wriggling about. You'll sleep better on the bed, don't worry, I'm not going to pounce!"

Robert figured it made sense to take up Aaron's offer of more comfortable accommodation, so he stripped to his underwear and climbed into bed beside him.

"There's no need to be my watchdog," Aaron said as he studied Robert's face in the dim light, "I promised you after my shower that I wouldn't try to cut myself again."

"I know," Robert smiled, "but I promised your mum I'd look after you...and that's what I'm doing."

Aaron looked a little nervous and he continued to look at Robert, "You know when you said about giving it another chance?"

"Yeah."

"Do you still want to?"

"Yeah, 'course I do."

Aaron gave a little nod, which was a mannerism of his that Robert knew well by now, "I do too...if you can still put up with me."

"Are you kidding? You just try and get rid of me!" Robert tried to lighten the mood. He cupped his hand around Aaron's chin and cheek and leaned forward to give him a little peck on the lips. Aaron wanted to kiss Robert fiercely, like they used to, but he knew that Robert was taking things slowly and he respected that. They both sank back onto their pillows.

"Night!" Aaron said, contentedly.

"Night, babe," Robert, for the first time, used a term of endearment and it suddenly felt right to do so.

Finally, they both slept.

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Chas was already in the back room when Aaron and Robert appeared the next morning.

"Hello love," Chas chirped when Aaron entered, "What would you like for breakfast?"

"I'm not really hungry," Aaron replied.

"You've got to eat something!" Chas would not take no for an answer, "Have a slice of toast at least."

"Alright...if it will stop you nagging!" Aaron wore his trademark sneer but Chas ignored it. Aaron could do anything he liked today and she would not complain.

"What would you like, Robert?" Chas asked.

"Toast will do fine for me, thanks Chas."

They sat round the table together. Aaron was pleased that his mother and boyfriend seemed to have buried the hatchet and they all talked freely.

"So," Robert said after he had eaten his toast and marmalade, "have you found a buyer for your half of the pub yet Chas?"

"Not since that last one fell through," Chas replied.

"My money's still on the table," Robert could see an opportunity to buy a stake in the Woolpack, "I've got all that money from the divorce settlement, I could help Diane out by buying her share and it seems it could help you out too."

Chas had previously been against the idea of being Robert's business partner, but she could see how well it had worked out with Aaron at the scrap yard, so she had changed her mind about it, "Okay! But I'd still run the pub my way!"

"Deal!" Robert stuck out his hand and Chas shook it. Aaron had a wry smile playing around his lips: things were progressing well for once.

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A few days passed and Robert had become a permanent fixture at the Woolpack, even before he had finalised the purchase of his share in the place and he was spending his nights in Aaron's room. Robert had changed: he was no longer interested in wealth and possessions, although he still had a keen business brain and would soon have stakes in both the scrap yard and the pub. Aaron adored the new improved Robert and he was becoming the perfect boyfriend. He felt that the time was right to step up a gear, so one night as Robert climbed into bed beside him he grabbed his lover and planted a big kiss on his lips.

"What's that for?" Robert asked.

"What? I'm not allowed to kiss my boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend? I thought you weren't ready yet."

"Look, Robert, I'm tired of waiting. I want you and I know you want me. So, I figured, what are we waiting for?"

Robert gazed at Aaron lovingly: he could see a simple truth in those beautiful blue eyes: it was a sign that Aaron trusted him and needed him in his life. He kissed him back.

"Mmmm!" Aaron groaned in mounting passion as the kiss deepened and held. They stripped each other naked and their arms wrapped around each other tightly. They had indulged in sex before, but this time it was different. It was no longer a furtive meeting in secret, with Robert a married man and Aaron his bit on the side. Aaron now knew that Robert had accepted his sexuality and he was a free agent and they also knew that they really loved each other: truly, madly and deeply. So, this time they had the knowledge that sex was an act of love between two people and it heightened the sensations coursing through their bodies. Robert, almost for the first time ever, realised that he loved the bones of Aaron. It had started as a flirtation, just intended to be a bit of fun behind his wife's back, but Robert now realised that he had fallen for Aaron very early on in their relationship and as for Aaron: he had loved Robert too, but could never show it for fear of wrecking his boyfriend's marriage. None of that mattered anymore: they were now able to love each other freely. After their shared passion was spent, they lay in each other's arms, their naked bodies pressed firmly together as they drifted off into a blissful sleep.

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Two weeks later, Chas, Aaron and Robert were eating breakfast together. Suddenly, Diane was at the door, looking worried.

"What's up?" Chas enquired.

"Sorry to disturb your breakfast," Diane walked into the room, followed by two young police officers, one male and one female.

"What's all this about?" Chas looked surprised.

The policeman looked at Chas and spoke "Are you Mrs Livesy?"

"I used to be," Chas replied, "before I got divorced."

"I see," the policeman summed up the situation, "well, we're making enquiries regarding the death of your ex-husband."

Chas, Aaron and Robert sat open-mouthed at the policeman's words.