[Intro song plays, "Meet the Heavy" text appears]
[Pamela and Nicky walk up to the camera in combat gear and place their machine guns on a wooden crate]
Nicky: "G'day there, mates! The name's Nicky. This is my friend, Pamela.
Pamela: Hello!
Nicky: You've probably read about us in the books our teacher wrote. In the Thea Stilton books, we're better known as the members of the Thea Sisters.
Pamela: But as Interpol agents, we're in a team called The Crew lead by Geronimo Stilton, the owner of Mouse Island's most read daily newspaper, The Rodent's Gazette.
Nicky: We're both gunners in The Crew; carrying machine guns and providing supportive fire for the team is our job.
Pamela: And these two... [looks at machine guns] ...are our machine guns. Mine would happen to be... [grabs LSAT LMG] ...this one. It's an LSAT LMG, weighs 4.5 kilograms empty, still in development stages, and costs around three thousand dollars per unit, more or less. It fires one-dollar, caseless 5.56 NATO FMJ cartridges at six hundred fifty rounds a minute.
Nicky: And mine [grabs gun] is the FN M249 SAW. Weighs about seven and a half kilos empty, ten kilos loaded, and fires the same rounds as Pamela's gun at seven hundred rounds a minute. [Stares intently at readers] It costs fourteen hundred US dollars to fire these weapons, for sixty...seconds.
Pamela: Hey Nic, why did the chickens cross the road?
Nicky: I don't know, why?
Pamela: [Smirks] To get to McDonald's at the other side.
Nicky: Pfffttt... BHA HA HA HA HA! Oh-ho-ho, you've got some sense of humor, you know that?
[Camera zooms into] Pamela: [Looks into camera with smug face, raising eyebrow]
[Nicky and Pamela both inspecting their guns until they notice something]
Nicky: What the cheese...? Is that a scratch on the bodywork?!
Pamela: Looks like yours isn't the only one. Got one on mine too.
[Both looking at each other]
Nicky: Alright...
Together: WHO TOUCHED OUR GUNS?!
[Cuts to both of them standing]
Pamela: There are some people who think that they can outsmart us just because we're gunners.
Nicky: We may be gunners, but we're no dumb muscle. We are MUCH smarter than you think.
Pamela: Yeah. But id they still think that we can be outsmarted, then we have yet to meet someone that can outsmart a bullet.
Nicky: [Holds up cartridge to the camera]
[Tybercore - Prepare For War plays]
[Nicky and Pamela devastates the enemies with their machine guns from cover at an airport skirmish]
Pamela: "Waaaaahhhhh! Uwaaaaaaah!
Nicky: Ahahahahaha! KILL THEM ALL!
[Black out]
Nicky: Heheh, "kill them all"...
[Team Fortress 2 ending, flourish music plays]
