I wanted to give back to the Clexa community because it totally sucked how things happened, and so I started writing yesterday and feel like I have a story to tell. It won't be very pretty but at least Clarke and Lexa still have the chance to be together (and you know I will make sure they will have a happy ending!) I'm not sure when I'll be updating again because my life is super busy right now but I definitely will!


There was just a moment where everything felt like it belonged, where I felt happy.

It was the first moment ever since we landed on Earth and I didn't want to move or open my eyes.

The warmth pressed against my back made me feel safe, and even though I know for a fact that the moment I moved, she'd wake up, I couldn't stop myself from breathing out in total bliss.

"This is not going anywhere."

It was like she'd read my mind and I slowly turned in her arms, her hand finally resting on my stomach and her face showing everything she was feeling.

"How do you know?"

"I just do, Clarke." She smiled, a bright and wide smile. One of the first I've seen from her.

"I hope you're right, Heda." I closed my eyes again and sighed. "You know I have to leave."

"I know."

Lexa was a star in not letting emotions show and after that short moment of complete openness from her, I had expected her to close off.

It was better that way.

She pulled her arm back and lay on her back, her eyes focused on the ceiling.

"We'll see each other again." My words were soft and even though I meant it as reassurance, it came out as more of a question than anything else.

Lexa turned her head and gave me one of those tight lipped smiles before she nodded. "I'm sure we will."

I sat up, my mind racing as I tried to think of a way to get back the Lexa that was just here.

"Hey," I said. turning around, "we'll be right here again very soon. I mean, you were awesome."

She chuckled, but that was it.

"You should go, Clarke. Octavia is waiting for you..." She sat up and looked at me. The openness was back but only partially.

She was protecting her heart.

"I know."

I slowly got up and searched for my clothes and behind me, I could hear Lexa do the same.

When we were both done, I turned toward her and realized that even unconsciously, we gravitated toward each other.

"When you get to the Ark, tell one of my warriors that I kept you here longer. They will let you in without a fight."

Lexa was already thinking of a way to give me safe passage and here I was, hoping I could kiss her one last time.

Her lips looked so damned inviting.

"Okay," I whispered as I stared at her lips. When, after a moment we both hadn't moved, I looked into her eyes and smiled, trying to convey everything I was feeling. "You know, I-"

Lexa nodded, and I could see she was ready to let me leave. But before she could take a step back, I captured her lips in a kiss, a goodbye kiss that wasn't goodbye.

And I wished I could stay there instead of going back to the Sky people.

I could still feel her on my body as I packed my stuff into a bag. I should've done my packing much sooner but I wanted to see Lexa one last time.

And I'm glad that I went to see her.


There was a knock on the door and before I could react, Titus strolled in and closed the door behind him.

He always gave me the chills. He was a sneaky man, saying one thing and doing another. But he'd always be there for Lexa and I knew she trusted him.

And so is try to trust him too.

"What do you want, Titus?"

He shrugged before making his way over to me. "She used you, you know?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Heda, she used you, and now she's done with you. You should stay away. You won't like what happens if you return."

It was a thinly veiled threat that I didn't even want to take seriously. I would know if Lexa had used me, and it sure didn't feel that way.

"Go away."

As he left, I didn't think about how easy it had been to get him to leave. I didn't bother taking notice of his threat.


"I told you to come at dawn," Octavia snarled as I made my way over to her. The horses were ready to go and so was she. Apparently, she'd been waiting.

"Titus came to see me." The lie rolled off of my lips easily but she believed me. I could see it on her face.

We both mounted quickly, and I could feel my body protesting. The couple of hours spent in Lexa's bed had been intense and I could feel muscles in places I didn't know could hurt.

"What did he want?" Octavia asked as we hurried to the Ark.

"He wanted to warn me, to make me see that it was better to never come back to Polis." I looked at the disbelief on Octavia's face and smiled. "It's fine, he's just trying to protect his Commander."

"How dare he though? I know that Lexa asked you to come back, even to stay." Octavia gritted her teeth and her jaw jumped.

"Don't worry, Octavia."

"Oh I'm not worried, I'm angry." She shook her head and muttered something else but I didn't hear what it was, and I didn't bother asking about it.

We rode the rest of the way to the Ark. The two warriors following us were silent too as they scanned the surroundings. I didn't think that was for us so much as for them, because whenever they'd look our way, there was hatred in their eyes.

And I didn't blame them.


Five miles outside the gates, Octavia stopped her horse.

"Are you sure? With Pike as chancellor you're bound to get some heat for staying with Grounders."

"Are you? You're going to get some heat too," I said with a tight smile. I wasn't scared of Pike, I wasn't afraid of what was to come. Something had to happen and I was sure that it would happen soon.

"True. Well, let's face the fire."


The Warriors stopped following us as we continued our way. It was too dangerous for them with the Sky people wanting to kill all Grounders and as Octavia and I moved toward the gates, I felt like it was too dangerous for us too.

For a moment I wished I'd turned back to Polis earlier, but I pushed down the feelings and went on. This was the only way and the only place for me right now.

I felt rather than saw the doubt in Octavia's step, otherwise so confident.

The gates opened, and we dismounted our horses. I didn't want my people to have more resources to try and kill Grounders.

Knowing the way the Warriors trained their horses, I slapped both of them on they're back and watched them gallop off, back to Polis or even somewhere else. It didn't matter to me, as long as they wouldn't get within the gates of Arcadia.

Octavia grinned at me before she turned to the guards, waiting for a pat down because she knew, she wasn't allowed weapons. I followed her lead, expecting everything they did, from the pat down to the cuffing.

"You know, there will be a time when you can be free again but right now with Pike, we can't let that happen."

The guard, I didn't know his name, looked apologetic and I shrugged.

I kept quiet as we were led into the holding cells, and noticed Octavia's anger and hurt when she saw Bellamy as he opened the doors to our cell.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy looked at Octavia but she turned her head and ignored his question. He looked so dejected when he closed the doors that I almost told him not to worry, but I didn't.

He was a traitor as much as I was.