Life happens while you're busy making plans. Is that how that saying goes? I don't remember. This is not how we planned to spend our time on this trip. By now, we were supposed to be fishing off the back of a boat in the Atlantic, hauling in bluefish and mackerel. Instead, we're in a helicopter heading to Massachusetts General Hospital. I admit it: I focused so much on the Alzheimer's, that once you started taking the new medication and began improving, I didn't even think about anything else going wrong. I've always thought of you as an Alpha lion; large and in charge of everything in your world. To be brought down by a fall…
"Denny, wake up. Please, wake up," Alan whispered into Denny's ear. The older man was strapped to a board in such a way as to immobilize his head, legs and arms. Alan was rubbing Denny's arm to not only let his husband and friend know he was there, but also to distract himself from the fact that he was riding in a chopper.
The medical technician monitoring Denny's vitals said, "We'll be landing on the hospital's roof in less than ten minutes. His blood pressure and heart rate seem strong."
Alan was forcing the panic he felt down so it wouldn't consume him. He asked, "Why won't he wake up? He's been unconscious since he fell!"
The tech smiled encouragingly and said, "I know this is very difficult, Mr. Crane, but try not to worry. I've been forwarding his vitals to the hospital the whole flight. His doctors will take over as soon as we touch down. They'll take him for a thorough exam and tests. A hard fall is especially serious for someone his age."
Denny was moved carefully from the helicopter to the gurney by the orderlies. Alan held his hand on the elevator and down the hallway to the exam room where his path was blocked by a nurse. "I'm his husband!" he pleaded as he tried to get around her, but she wouldn't budge.
"I am sorry, Mr. Crane. No family is allowed in here. Someone will come out to speak with you as soon as possible. Please go to the Front Desk and register your husband as a new patient. We'll take good care of him." She backed up and closed the door in his face.
Defeated, he went to the Front Desk and began filling out the admission, insurance and financial information forms. When he brought the forms back to the receptionist, she checked them for accuracy and completeness. She looked up at him and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot to give you the incident form."
Alan repeated, "The 'incident form'? I'm not sure I understand."
She pulled out a single sheet of paper and a pen, "You were with Mr. Crane when he got hurt. If you saw what happened, it might be helpful for his treatment. Tell me; I'll write it down."
"We were getting ready to go out for an afternoon of deep sea fishing. As Denny was getting on the boat, someone on the next boat over yelled something. Denny looked up at the sound and at that moment, the boat rocked, causing him to lose his balance and fall onto the deck. It happened so fast I couldn't grab him and he didn't have a chance to brace himself. He struck his head really hard and lost consciousness immediately."
The receptionist wrote down what he said. "All right, Mr. Crane, just to be clear: your husband fell because the boat shifted and caused him to lose his footing; he didn't become dizzy at all. Correct?"
Alan was starting to get antsy. "Yes, that's correct. Shouldn't someone have come out to speak to me by now?"
"I know this is hard, Mr. Crane. I'm sure as soon as there is something to know, you'll be informed. Please have a seat over there and try not to worry."
Alan sat down in the waiting area and stared down the hall at the exam room door. Denny, don't do this to me. Not today. I know the day you'll leave me is coming. A 29 year age difference kind of guarantees we won't have a silver wedding anniversary, but not today, Denny. Please, not today.
"Mr. Crane?" Alan looked up to see Dr. Forrester, Denny's geriatrician and the doctor who prescribed the experimental Alzheimer's drug after the Supreme Court said Denny could have it. Alan stood up and shook his hand, "Doctor, please give me some good news."
"I can give you some good news. The x-rays were negative; he has no broken bones. He did regain consciousness for awhile and that is a good sign. He did sustain a severe concussion, however. That means he could have some permanent impairment of his memory or reasoning…"
"Oh, my God!" Alan interjected as he sat back down.
Doctor Forrester sat next to him. "Mr. Crane, Alan, there is a very good chance that won't happen because of the medication Denny is taking. The same areas of the brain affected by Alzheimer's are affected by severe concussions. We're going to keep him for a few days for observation. Normally, we wouldn't keep someone as long as we're proposing to keep him, but since we don't know exactly what his medication will do under these circumstances, we want to monitor him closely."
Alan, for the first time since this nightmare started, felt optimistic. "Of course, do whatever needs to be done. I'd like to see him now."
Doctor Forrester stood, "He was being prepped to move into a private room. Wait here and I will send someone to take you to him once he's settled in." Alan nodded his head and leaned back in his seat. The doctor patted his shoulder and moved on down the hall.
An orderly came to get Alan about 30 minutes after the doctor had walked away. Denny had been moved to a very pleasantly appointed private room on an upper floor that afforded a view of the river in the distance. Alan stepped into the room then turned and called the orderly back to ask him to bring a cot. He walked over to where Denny was lying in the bed. Concerned, he was just about to press the "call" button when a nurse entered the room.
"Hello, I just need to give Mr. Crane his IV."
Alan moved to allow the nurse to get closer. "Hello, I was under the impression that my husband had regained consciousness. Is he unconscious again?"
Her ID said her name was Nurse Bryant and she was very efficiently setting up the IV. "No, Mr. Crane. He's sleeping now. He was given medication for pain, so he's going to be out of it for the next 36 to 48 hours. You might want to go home…"
Alan interrupted, "No, I'm staying here tonight. If he wakes up and I'm not here and he's alone, he may get scared and I can't have that. I'll have someone bring me something to eat."
When the orderly brought the cot in, Alan set it up on the side of Denny's bed opposite the IV. Now that he knew Denny wasn't in immediate danger, he took a closer look at the room. There were two reclining chairs, a small dresser, a 2.5 cubic foot refrigerator, a love seat with a small coffee table in front of it and the bathroom not only had a shower stall; it contained a bathrobe, slippers, toothbrushes and toothpaste. Excellent, he thought. He reached for his phone and dialed Shirley.
Carl and Shirley walked into Denny's room two hours later. Shirley hugged Alan first, then went to Denny and kissed his cheek. "Alan," she said, "we come bearing gifts: sandwiches and water, a bottle of wine, magazines, a package of underwear…"
Alan looked at her in shock, "You bought me underwear? Carl, was that your idea?"
Carl held up his hands and said, "No, but guess who was recruited to go buy it? I also got you some T-shirts and socks. We figured sleeping here is bad enough; at least, you should have fresh underwear."
Alan smiled, "I'm touched. Thank you, Carl."
Carl harrumphed, "Don't thank me, pay me! I'll give you the receipt later."
Alan replied, "Of course! Consider it done."
While they were talking, Shirley had pulled a chair next to Denny's bed and was patting his hand. "Has he woken up since he's been in this room?" she asked.
Alan said, "No, and I don't expect him to for a few more hours. They've given him something for pain and he's being closely monitored for any interactions with his Alzheimer's medication; so far, everything is fine. It even appears that the experimental drug will prevent this concussion from causing permanent effects."
Shirley gave a sigh of relief, "Thank God. Alan, how are you feeling? I was stunned when you called. We thought you were still in the Hamptons."
Alan had opened one of the sandwiches and taken a bite. "Hmmm, turkey and cheese. Thanks, guys. When it happened, I was terrified. He hit the deck so hard and he was lying so still. We called an ambulance that took him to the closest urgent care center. They weren't really equipped I felt to take care of Denny and I didn't want him hospitalized in the Hamptons so I chartered a helicopter to bring us to Boston. Dave the chauffeur packed up our things and brought them home. I plan to stay here until he's discharged."
Carl looked at Shirley, "Speaking of discharges, I think you and I should leave and let Alan relax as much as one can relax in a hospital room."
Shirley said, "You're right."
Alan finished eating his sandwich, stood up and first hugged Carl then Shirley. "Thank you for the food, water and underwear. I hope they're boxers, Carl."
Carl rolled his eyes and answered, "Yes, enjoy them. Goodnight, Alan. Take good care of him."
Alan had showered, changed into a fresh t-shirt and shorts (Bless you, Carl and Shirley!) and put on the bathrobe before opening the very nice bottle of merlot they had also brought. He sat on the love seat and read. A nurse had come in every two hours to check Denny's blood pressure, body temperature and pulse. Each time he was assured that Denny was fine and would probably sleep through the night. At around 11PM, he turned out the lamp, stretched out on the cot and fell asleep.
"Alan? Alan?"
Alan jerked awake, "Denny? I'm right here."
"I can't see you. Where am I? What's going on?"
Alan could hear the fear and agitation in Denny's voice as he got up from the cot to stand next to the bed. He rubbed Denny's arm in the dark and said softly, "I'm right here, Denny. I'll turn on the light so you can see."
Denny grabbed Alan's arm, "No, I think it would hurt my eyes. My head hurts a little. And, I have to pee really badly."
Alan said, "Don't try to get up, use this. I'll hold the bottle, you hold yourself."
When Denny was finished, Alan took it to the bathroom and flushed the contents. He noted it was 3:20 in the morning.
"Alan, what's going on?"
Alan answered, "You had an accident; you fell and hit your head getting onto the boat when we were about to go fishing. You're in the hospital. Do you remember falling?"
Denny grew quiet for a moment, and then said, "I don't remember! Alan, I don't want to stay in the hospital on Long Island! I want to go back to Boston!"
Alan held Denny's hand and said, "Denny, I want you to calm down. Take a few deep breaths. That's it. Good. Listen to me: When you fell, you lost consciousness. I thought the best thing to do would be to bring you to Mass General. We got here by helicopter; we are in Boston."
Alan's eyes had adjusted to the darkness; he still couldn't see clearly, but he didn't have to see to know that Denny was upset, confused and scared. "Denny, I know you have questions, but right now, I think you should try to go back to sleep. Do you think you can do that?"
"I'm afraid I might not know where I am again when I wake up; can you sleep with me? That would make me feel better."
If Denny hadn't sounded so lost and frightened, Alan would never have even entertained the idea. OK, he thought, can I really do this without damaging Denny, the bed and my back?
"Alan?"
"I'm thinking, Denny. I have an idea. Cover your eyes; I need to turn on the light for a few minutes." Once he had the light on, he walked around to Denny's left side and raised the guardrail. He made sure the IV drip was unencumbered and then came back around to Denny's right side. He lifted the sheet and blanket off the right side of the bed and laid it on Denny. Then, he raised the guardrail on that side, turned off the light and walked down to the foot of the bed. "OK, Denny, we're about to find out if I spoon as well as you think I do. Move to your left about 2 inches. Perfect." Alan climbed on the bed and squeezed his way up until his head was in its usual spot on Denny's chest. With Denny flat on his back, Alan was basically lying on the right side of Denny's body. Alan wasn't really uncomfortable, but he also wasn't the injured one. "Denny, can you sleep like this? I can go back to my cot if you can't."
Denny put his right arm around Alan's shoulder and said, "Don't leave me. I'm fine."
Alan reached over and pulled the sheet and blanket over himself. "Goodnight, Denny."
When the nurse came in at 6AM to check Denny Crane's vitals and change his IV, she was greeted by the sight of the two men entwined in sheets and each other, one snoring like a pig and the younger one looking at her.
"Good morning," he whispered, "I could use some assistance. Could you please lower the guardrail behind me?" Alan thought what a professional; if she's shocked or offended, she's not letting on. Once the bar was lowered, he just backed off the bed feet first and stood up. He stood there for a moment to see if his departure would wake Denny and when he kept snoring, he went to the bathroom.
When he came out, the nurse was still there and Denny was awake. Denny looked at him and smiled. "Hey," he said weakly.
Alan grinned back, "Hey, yourself. How are we feeling?"
Denny pushed a button on the remote control unit in his hand and the bed raised him into a sitting position. "I feel alright, a little hungry. I could eat something."
Alan looked at the nurse who was writing in Denny's chart. "His signs are good and strong, Mr. Crane. I'll ask the aide to bring him some milk and cereal. Would you like some, too?"
"Yes, please. Tell me, Nurse Phillips, what time will the doctor come in to see him?"
"He should be here between 9 and 9:30," she answered as she placed Denny's chart back in the slot next to the bed, "According to your chart, Mr. Crane, you can take your regular medication now plus a pain med if you need it. Are you in pain?"
Denny closed his eyes and did a little self-assessment and then said, "No, no, I think I'm good. I don't need a painkiller."
Nurse Phillips gave him his pill and a glass of water, then made another note in his chart. "Your breakfast will be here in a few minutes. Use the call button if you need me," she said as she exited the room.
Alan folded the cot in half and pushed it into a corner and then came back and sat in one of the chairs. He looked up to see Denny watching him. "What?"
"Thank you, Alan, for staying with me. I woke up again, you know. I wasn't sure where I was at first, but I knew I was safe because you were next to me. Then, I remembered that I'm in the hospital. I remember falling on the boat. That's good, right?"
Alan stood up, moved closer and took Denny's hand, "That's excellent, Denny! One of the effects of a concussion is temporary amnesia, so it's very good your memory's returning."
Denny looked at his hand in Alan's and frowned. He said softly, "You… held my hand, you talked to me but, I couldn't answer…"
Alan rubbed his thumb gently along Denny's knuckles, "Do you remember what I said?"
"You asked me to wake up."
"Mr. Crane, I am very, very pleased with your progress. I think, barring unforeseen circumstances and assuming a nurse comes in to check on you at home, you should be able to leave tomorrow," Dr. Forrester said after reviewing Denny's chart and examining him. "I'll ask young Mr. Crane here to set up a nurse visit every other day for a week. After that, again assuming there aren't any problems, you can ease yourself back into your normal routine."
Denny leaned forward in the bed and said, "Just tell me I can have a glass of scotch tomorrow! I feel like I've been here forever!"
Alan, standing opposite the doctor on the other side of the bed, rubbed his back and grimaced. "Denny, my back feels like its been here forever and it's only been two nights. Stop complaining!"
Dr. Forrester laughed, "The nurses are right, you two are entertaining. Yes, Denny, you may have a drink of scotch tomorrow, just don't go overboard."
Denny and Alan were sitting on their bedroom's balcony with their customary evening cigars and scotch. Denny had been home from the hospital for a month and was completely back to normal. He had even wanted to go deep sea fishing, but Alan had put his foot down; insisting that for the foreseeable future, all their fishing would be done from land or wearing waders.
Alan caught Denny staring at him. He turned to look him full in the face, "What, Denny?" The older man seemed on the verge of tears. Alan went to Denny immediately and knelt beside him, "Tell me what's wrong."
Denny tousled Alan's hair affectionately and replied, "Nothing. I was just thinking how much of a comfort you are to me, how you make sure I'm taken care of and how I would be lost without you. Never mind, I'm just being a sentimental idiot."
Alan reached up and hugged Denny, "I love you, too," he whispered.
"Okay, enough sentiment."
He went back to his chair, sat down and picked up his glass and cigar and thought, Denny, I made a promise to you before we married that I would be there and I intend to keep that promise. One day, you won't be here and I will be brokenhearted, but not today. Thank God, not today.
