A/N: Hello, I thought I'd start writing this, because I'd done all the research and everything so, I've tried my best with the first bit and I've tried to get it sounding all old fashioned and professional.
This does seem to be death by dialogue at the moment, as it's just the starter and I guess Taster, as I'm not sure how this will be received by everyone so let me know if you like it and would like me to carry on.
The Name of the woman on trial (Bridget Bishop) is the name of one of the women that were tried and executed, she was actually the first accused.
Anyway, this is set after series three and Disclaimers are as follows:
I don't own The Mighty Boosh or any of it's affiliated characters, The boys; Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding do, as do BB3 and baby cow – I'm not making any money from this ok?
Also I'd like to thank my BETA Radar- rox
Enjoy.
June 10th 1692 Oyer and Terminer court Trial of Bridget Bishop.
"On the eve of Monday 27th month of May you were accused of stealing a loaf of bread from the Goodwin family, am I right?"
"No your lordship."
"But it is true that after said accusations from the family you proceeded to 'curse' them?"
"Yes, but your Honour-"
"The children of this family can no longer speak, and this was by the work of God? Nonsense, it is you that has sent these children into a world of misery, as of tonight June 10th you will be hanged by the neck on Gallows hill for committing witchcraft."
"I am no more a Witch than you are a Wizard, and if you take away my life then you'll have God give you blood to drink."
June 10th 2008 the Nabootique, Dalston.
"Vince would you please take your feet off the counter? People have to put money on there."
"No, cause then their money would've had some kind of contact with me."
"I've said this before and I'll say it again, do you think you're the Queen Mother?" Howard spoke, batting Vince's feet off the counter with his rolled up newspaper.
"Oi! Watch it, these are new Versace boots! I don't want them getting sullied by all that news rubbish."
"It's not news rubbish it's important, informs you Sir, about everything that goes on in the world. Keeps noted on historic dates."
"I thought the Sun was just filled with page after page of boobs?"
"I don't read the sun; I don't stoop down to read three whole pages about Jordan's breast reduction, I read much more civilised papers, papers like the Times."
"You're a knob."
"Well thank you very much Sir, here read this it might educate you more and then you'll probably learn how to respect your friends and talk to them more politely, now I'm gonna go make a cup of tea."
"While your up there mate, take that stick out your arse."
