Hey everyone! Takhi Kacee and Phantom Sam here!

We're here to bring you another parody of an awesome movie with ideas that have been ripped out of the dark, sick, and twisted depths of our minds. In other words, yes, we shall ruin another classic film. xD

To those who are easily offended and can't take a joke, DON'T READ THIS!! And if you shudder at jokes made toward Sweeney Todd, click that little X in the right corner of your window. Thank you.

And now, without further adieu, Takhi and Phantom present "Sweeney Todd: a Far More Sicker Version than Seen in Theaters!" bows intro music

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Organ music brings up the beginning scene. It's the dark, shit town called London. Yay. Ah, we arrive at Mrs. Lovett's and Sweeney's…deli? He has a deli now? Oh right! We decided he should, lol! The camera pans over to the infamous meat grinder. Oh look, there's someone in there. Aw, he's screaming. He's grinded through, and the meat plops out onto the ground. Fresh pies are pulled out of the oven. Mmm, people pies! Now we view the meat slicer in the deli; People are getting sliced into fresh cold cuts, yum. The scenery fades to black and the credits role, reading:

Directed and Written by
Sam "Phantom" Gombas and Kacee "Takhi" Blackmer

Starring
Johnny Depp
Helena Bonham Carter
...and everyone else that also had a part in the film.

Rawr.

Sweeney Todd
(A far more sicker version than seen in theaters.)

Enjoy!

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The black screen opens up to the dark sea with no land in sight. In the middle of this ocean is a floating door, and on this floating door sits Sweeney Todd, his head drooped, his eyes glaring. Mr. Todd just got back from his "holiday" in Australia, and he's pissed! A ship sails by him. The famous Captain Jack Sparrow peers over the side.

Jack: Oy mate, who're you?

Sweeney: I'm Todd, Sweeney Todd.

Jack: Where do you come from, that you have to sail on a door?

Sweeney: Australia.

The word "Australia" makes Jack gasp and quickly whip around to Barbossa.

Jack: Barbossa! Quickly! Go go go!!

Barbossa: What be your problem?

Jack: He's from Australia!!

Barbossa: with a shocked look Oh SHIT!

He grabs the wheel of the ship and quickly veers it away, only to smash into a random iceberg. The crewmembers shriek as the ship sinks in seconds. Then 50 rabid sharks, foaming at the mouth, appear in an instant and devour the pirates. As they finish off the crew members, they approach Mr. Todd. He stares at one as it lifts his head out of the water with a foam-dripping grin.

Sweeney: Australia.

The sharks shriek like schoolgirls swim away in a shot. Sweeney sighs. Then, from behind, another ship comes. Sweeney turns his head to look and screams as it crashes into his door and sends him flying into the water.

Later, some fishermen onboard pull up fishing net. In the bundle of fish lies Mr. Todd with a very displeased face. The net is plopped down onto the deck. Sweeney flops around with his eyes bulging and gasping for air. He suddenly remembers that he is not a fish. Anthony approaches and Sweeney stand up with an embarrassed grunt. But, unfortunately, his hair does not rise with him. He feels his bald head and whips around to see a fish flopping on the deck with his wig in his mouth.

Sweeney: grabs fish Give me my hair back!

The fish holds on tight. Sweeney begins to bash the fish against the ship and bites down on its back and rips out a chunk like Bear Grylls. He laughs manically and yanks his wig out from the fish's mouth and places it gently on his head. He turns to Anthony and fish guts run down his mouth as he speaks.

Sweeney: Well, hello!

Anthony: reluctantly Hi.

Sweeney: I'm Sweeney Todd.

Anthony: Anthony. And you're from?

Sweeney: Australia.

Anthony: Oh. That explains it.

Sweeney: Tell me, where are we headed now?

Anthony: Oh, London, my friend.

Closer up on Sweeney's face as it twists with anger. The scene taints red and the Kill Bill psycho-ish theme plays. Sweeney growls. Anthony walks over to the front of the ship.

Anthony: singing I have sailed the world, beheld its-

Sweeney shoves Anthony over the edge.

Anthony: AAAGGHHHHH!!

Sweeney: My movie. smiles

Sam and Kacee run out of nowhere and shove Sweeney over the edge to join Anthony.

Sam & Kacee: Our parody!

Kacee: Uh oh.

Sam: What?

Kacee: We just shoved Johnny Depp off of the ship.

Sam: Oh… Shit.

Kacee: pausing Coffee?

Sam: Sure!

Both sprint away. The scene switches to Sweeney who, somehow, has ended up on the streets of London. He thinks nothing of the randomness and stamps through the streets.

Sweeney: singing There's a whole in the world like a great black pit and it's…

A shadow appears behind him and he turns his head to look. It's a young girl. He continues singing.

Sweeney: …filled with people who are filled with shit and…

He glances back to see another girl joining the first one. He picks up his pace.

Sweeney: …vermin of the world inhabit…

He glances back again. The two girls has suddenly become a mob of girls. They scream with excitement and charge at him.

Sweeney: AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! flees with his arms swinging in the air

The camera switches angles and we watch from above. There's one little dot, that's Mr. T, followed by a thousand other dots, all raging fan girls. A helicopter appears, and riding in it are Sam and Kacee…again. We appear here and there. Cameos, hahaha!! Both wear sunglasses, protective bullet-proof gear, and hold machine guns. The song "Headstrong" by Trapt blasts as they jump from the helicopter, revealing a man holding a boom box. The two glide down and land between Sweeney and the fan girls.

Sam: We got your back, Mr. Todd!

Kacee: Damn right!

Both grin wildly as they begin to shoot out all the fan girls. They drop like flies as the guns go off. Sam suddenly pulls out a bazooka and fires it at the last 500 fan girls. All the bodies, dead or (barely) alive fly and splatter against the wall. Kacee and Sam smile and turn to Sweeney, who stares, completely baffled. Both give him a thumbs up and leap back into the helicopter. How can we do that, you ask? We're writing: we can do anything!! Sweeney continues to stare until drool drips down his chin. Then he shrugs and turns, only to walk into the side of the building.

Sweeney: Ow. straightens nose out