When Worlds Collide

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters; I'm just borrowing them. I promise to return them completely, or at least mostly, unscathed when I'm done. Please don't sue me; I have no money.

Chapter 1, A Strange Query

Dudley Dursley sat hunched over his computer, mouse clicking in one hand, grape soda in the other. He cocked his head to the side, put down his soda, and began typing. Taking a sip as the page loaded, Dudley choked and purple liquid spattered over the words and images that had just appeared on his screen.

Across the room, Harry looked up from his book. "Whatcha gone and found now? More naked ladies?"

"Harry…" Dudley wavered… "you're…you're famous."

"Everyone knows that," Harry replied stiffly, turning back to his book.

"No," Dudley continued, "on the Internet. In… my world. Muggles? So that's how you spell it. Blimey, we sound like idiots, I mean, with a spelling like that..."

"That's because you are……wait, you're saying that I'm famous in the Muggle world, on the Internet? How?"

"Who's J. K. Rowling? Some wizard friend of yours?"

"Never heard of him," said Harry as he joined Dudley behind the glowing screen.

"Well, it seems he, no, wait, she, knows all about you. She writes stories about you."

"Not another one," Harry groaned, "Rita Skeeter was bad enough." Harry squinted at the screen as Dudley jumped from page to page. "What does she say?"

"I dunno, books I think. But whatever it is, people seem to like her a lot. There's loads of fan sites devoted to you and those friends of yours."

"She writes about all of us? Ron will love this!"

"She's not the only one who writes about you," said Dudley as he stopped on a page. "You've got a devoted and, by the looks of it, enormous fanfic following."

"Wait, what? What is this?"

"It's called fan fiction. A lot of TV shows have it, like, where people will make up their own stories about the characters. I've never seen any done on a real person before, though…well, bands and actors sometimes, but those don't really count… "

"You read it?"

"Sometimes…"

"Do you write it?"

"Ummmm…" Dudley squirmed in his seat, "moving on……hey, look at this one," Dudley clicked a link.

"Great titles" Harry snorted. "The things people will make up! Hang on, what are the names with the lines between them?"

"Oh, those are romantic pairings…like who you're dating."

"I see" said Harry, keeping his face decidedly blank as he scrolled through the list of stories.

"The male-female pairings are called 'ship' which is short for relationship, and the male-male or female-female ones are slash…which just refers to the line between the names…"

"Hmmm…Dudley, you seem to know an awful lot about these things." Harry intoned sarcastically.

"What do you think I do all day on the computer? Homework?"

"coughporncough" Harry replied quietly.

"Not that much…and only when mum and dad aren't home. What do you do on the computer?"

"Not much really…don't have that big a use for it…talk to some muggle-born friends whose parents aren't too keen on owls, but that's about it. But I think I'll have to check this out."

Dudley, who had been skimming various stories, choked on his grape soda again.

"What is it now?" Harry asked, following Dudley's eyes to the screen.

"Fan ack art" Dudley said, still coughing. "Like fan fiction, but, um…art."

"I got that." Harry replied. "Some of this is pretty good, though my hair isn't nearly that messy."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not."

"Do you even own a mirror?"

"As a matter of fact I do. A better question would be, do you, Dudley?"

The old grandfather clock in the front hall chimed.

"Ah, I'm late to meet the guys" Dudley said as he jumped from the well-worn seat in front of the computer.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll keep browsing" Harry turned to where Dudley had been, but Dudley was already halfway out the door. "Whatever," Harry sighed as he sat down in front of the monitor and started typing.