Izuku avant Deku
Summary: Because "Deku" is the only name he ever remembers. Katsuki and Izuku, a study in friendship; one-shot.
WARNING: Non-yaoi. This isn't a pairing or a couple, they're friends, as canon suggests quite clearly. I am not against them being one, mind you, but I quite like them as is. ALSO, while not on par with the latest release, there are some SPOILERS.
I AM SO BUSY (I'm graduating, I have my thesis to complete, a business plan to defend and an event to pay and plan… GAH), but this little plot bunny kept nibbling until it reached an artery and had me bleeding to death (i.e. awake all night, thinking about it). So I had to put everything aside and write this as well as I can at the moment. Sorry for the mistakes you'll find.
Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia… if I did, the author would be dead from overwork. So, good thing I'm not?
MINOR REFERENCES: Izuku's birthday is July 15th while Katsuki's birthday is April 20th; therefore, Izuku is the younger of the two, by nearly three months. Also, the title was swiped from "Coco avant Chanel", which is a FABULOUS French film about Coco Chanel. It means "Coco before Chanel". I recommend it.
One-Shot
Bakugou Katsuki knows he is great. His quirk's awesome and strong, his body is lean and his grades are good. Many of the other students who know him label him as arrogant, but that's not truly the case (somewhat). Bakugou Katsuki is merely someone awash in self-confidence so intense it rubs people the wrong way. A confidence borne of a deep, assured knowledge of what he is capable of; young Katsuki isn't stupid by any stretch.
Everything he has, he's worked hard to achieve.
Though his quirk is amazing, it's hard to control. Long use of it leaves him tired and dehydrated, with palms that itch like crazy. Since the moment it manifested, he'd trained to control it, learning the feel of it and how to temper it into different sized bursts. His own explosive temperament often puts people in danger, so he taught himself to put a cork on his power to keep from frying others on a daily basis. Aerial maneuvers had come from experimentation and trials to test the limits of his quirk. He lost count of the scars littered on his body from cuts, scrapes, sudden flares, big falls and near misses.
Almost killing himself every day had felt like a hobby for a while.
Flying, though fun, was no easy task and Katsuki developed a training regimen somewhat akin to that of an Olympic gymnast; focusing his attention on keeping his core limber, his muscles prepped for maintaining flight stability and working on his balance. Such a workout implied a great variety of drills on a day-to-day basis, with Sundays as his rest day (though the always, always did his core exercises). He was in a state of constant soreness during his early years, but now he's used to it. Eating properly had him browsing the net for diets and shakes, driving his mother up the wall with different dietary regimens and pills. The moment he hit upon a balanced diet, he'd flourished beautifully. A good two liters of water a day served him well, if he kept his cool, but he always carried water… just in case.
School was another issue; Bakugou Katsuki is not a born scholar, his penmanship had been poor at best as a child and he's never been overly fond of reading. Even now, he had to force himself to study at least an hour a day. Still, from childhood, his goal had been to become a hero and Mama Bakugou had taken the initiative to explain to her son that a hero needed more than muscles. Taking those words quite seriously, her baby had buckled down with his studies from a very early age. He could write his own name by the time he was three and sitting down with a dictionary to learn kanji was a pastime he favored.
His world, however, was spun off-kilter when he met one Midoriya Izuku. Neighbors when they turned four, the boys were vastly different, but they took to each other like fish to water. Though a bit of a cry-baby, Izuku's gentle nature allowed him to forgive and tolerate Katsuki's brash and ill-mannered ways; while Katsuki' single-mindedness and egotistical habits easily integrated and overlooked Izuku's glaring faults and clumsy attempts at friendship. What would have been a disaster anywhere else, the boys managed without too many kinks in the works. Despite the success of their mutual regard, Katsuki had a conundrum in his four-year-old hands.
Izuku was useless!
He couldn't read hiragana very well, he often confused words and he had no quirk! He couldn't write his own name either! Worse, Izuku couldn't even pronounce his name right! Unable to say "stuki" properly, unlike other kids his age, the younger boy simply resorted to calling him 'Kacchan'. At first, Katsuki had been miffed by the nickname. Bu the only person in the whole world who called him 'Kacchan' was Izuku… and he decided that was alright. Still, Izuku would probably die if he remained this weak and… Katsuki would burn the world to the ground before he let that happen. Now, now he wasn't just a hero, he was Izuku's hero. Made into an unstoppable force with this motivation, he began with the basics.
"Mom?" he queried one day, dictionary in his lap and a puzzled frown on his face. "How do you spell Izuku?"
Mama Bakugou stifled a smile before turning off the faucet and facing her son. She thought about it for a moment as she dried her hands, moving to stand behind him. "The kanji for 'izu' in Izuku-chan's name is written like the 'de' in 'deguchi'," she said, pointing at the word on the page of the dictionary.
Katsuki's expression brightened, blossoming into a smile. "So Izuku could also be called Deku?" Humming approvingly, his mother ran fond fingers through his downy hair before patiently taking him through the paces of writing "Midoriya Izuku" properly.
As the boy worked, harder than he did on his own name, he was still beaming. Deku! It was something no one else knew! Only he knew it! He couldn't wait to tell everyone of his discovery! With a steady hand, he improved writing Izuku's name with every stroke. He knew he'd master it soon; he was a quick learner, unlike his friend. There was little he couldn't do. Izuku wouldn't have to stumble through spelling out his own name anymore, with him there! His friend could rely on him for everything.
Deku… he rolled the word around in his head with all the consideration of a sommelier tasting fine wine. It was a name he invented, solely for Izuku. My Deku… my best friend… my responsibility… the person I wish to protect.
Deku, he decided. Izuku would be Deku to him as he was Kacchan to Izuku.
The very next day, when he presented the name, the other boys had asked what it was supposed to mean and Katsuki had panicked. He'd unintentionally disclosed it in front of the group, attempting to showboat, as per usual. He hadn't expected to be questioned and it put him on the spot. The real reason sounded too sentimental for him just then and the other kids would make fun of him for it. So, he blurted what came first to mind.
"It means useless and worthless!" he'd shouted triumphantly.
Risking a glance at his friend, his heart sank as large, green doe-eyes turned liquid at his insult. He hadn't meant it, but Izuku ought to know that, right? As the tears spilled over, rolling in fat drops down soft cheeks, Katsuki felt a nudge of rage at the display. Did Izuku have so little spine? Was he really that useless? Couldn't he defend himself, at least? Even if he didn't know Katsuki's intentions, couldn't Izuku trust him a little? He was a hero! Heroes didn't hurt people!
"Stop it," Izuku sniffled, gloomily wiping away the tears that Katsuki's words had put there. It tore him apart. The only person who'd ever seen through all of his bluster and his pomp had been Izuku. Not even his mother looked past the confident smirk plastered on his face anymore, because what child pretends? Izuku had never flinched from him, he always simply accepted. It cut all the way to his bones to see his best friend cry because of him.
Everything he had ever done had been for Izuku's sake! His mother had told him that Izuku was never calm unless Katsuki was around, so that meant Izuku needed him! Stupid Izuku! Why was he so worthless? Couldn't he tell it'd been a joke?
Unable to face the rejection and guilt he'd felt at that moment, he'd renounced his friend entirely. Stupid Deku! He chanted in his mind, pushing away emotions he didn't understand. I hate you! So it went, repeating every time he felt remorse; a mantra to keep the demons at bay.
All he had left after so many years was simply an echo, a lingering note that reminded him that his greatest friend, his confidant, his Deku had never left him. That was it; only a memory of the hand that had been offered in earnest. When Izuku had launched himself at the slime to save him, it hadn't just been a blow to his pride… it brought back the voices in his head that hissed that he was the worthless one. For what kind of hero abandons a friend in need?
Such mature thoughts only left him reeling, sick to his stomach with himself… so he ignored their existence as much as possible. Going to a different school had been his salvation, the chance to run away from those wide, innocent eyes and from his shameful regret. To see him again at Yuuei was a nightmare he hadn't dared to dream. Snapping at him about smearing his name and whatnot had only been to hide the real reason behind his frustration.
I want to get away from you! Leave me alone! Why can't you just die?
Those thoughts circled, making him especially vicious, even more so when he discovered that Izuku actually had a quirk. The little nerd had been lying to him the whole time! Laughing in the face of his suffering, making him feel inadequate for being unable to protect him… when he could protect himself! How dare he have a quirk?
Stop looking down on me!
However, facing off with him… fighting him only served to prove what he already knew. Deku was no liar and the way he used his quirk reminded Katsuki of when he'd been four and made blundering mistakes. As they fought, he could tell that Izuku couldn't properly control his power and the blowback confirmed it. He wondered if he was going soft, avoiding direct hits and simply blowing Izuku backwards with underwhelming explosions. When he resorted to hand-to-hand combat, even if it was brutal, Katsuki knew he'd never truly slaughter his childhood friend. Something is keeping him in check and he's glad for it.
"Kacchan… it's because you're amazing that I want to win!" That phrase had Katsuki aiming for Izuku's shoulder instead of his face and something in him had wilted in relief when he saw the other boy managed to block most of the blow. Later, the ponytail-chick made some blithe remark about being a top hero that really struck a chord in him and his head was suddenly too loud. Gritting his teeth throughout the rest of the activity had been tough, but quite honestly, he couldn't really hear anything.
His blood is roaring in his ears, muffling everything else, leaving him marooned in his own mind. Never be a top hero… echoes funnily in his ears, bouncing in the caverns of his brain and filling him with a sense of failure, amplified by the success of his classmates in the activity. His temper had gotten the better of him, making him snap, snarl and howl like a wild dog instead of paying attention to his training. Deku had been intent on the purpose of the exercise the whole time, maneuvering appropriately despite the danger he'd represented. He'd been right up in the little weakling's face and the younger teen had lead him about by the nose. Izuku had the presence of mind to keep him away from his teammate and to help her even if he wasn't on the same floor as she was. Again and again, he heard ponytail-chick's voice: never be a top hero…
"Kacchan!"
As it always has, since they were toddlers, Deku's voice breaks through the torrent of thoughts tormenting him. His feelings of inadequacy quiet down, hushed and quiescent beneath the weight of gentle green eyes. Looking back, unwilling to face him completely, he stares into the verdant depths that anchor him to sanity. "Ah?" Izuku's regard is firm, his face troubled but his gaze is set and determined. Only long habit keeps his scowl in place, because Katsuki isn't sure he'd manage to hold in the tears otherwise.
"I got this quirk from someone else," not quite what he expected, but it's enough to keep him there, listening. "I still can't use it the way it's supposed to be… it's a borrowed power I can't make my own yet! That's why… I tried to win without using it! But even then, I couldn't win and relied on it anyway! I'm still nowhere near strong enough… so!" Katsuki's mind deliberately glosses over the initial part of Deku's statement. The idea that Izuku wanted to win without using a quirk while fighting him was idiocy. The implied compliment that Katsuki's too strong to handle without it is also dismissed. Of course he's too strong! He's great!
The final part made his blood boil. Deku thought he wasn't strong enough? When he totally kicked his ass seven ways to next week? He opens his mouth to reply and stops at what Izuku says next.
"So, one day I'll have it made properly into my own power… and then I'll surpass you." His delivery is so astoundingly clear, so resolved that Katsuki first has trouble comparing this confident Izuku with the Deku he'd teased all of his life. As the statement registers, his temper flares, as explosive as his quirk; he finally has the courage to turn and face him fully.
"I don't get what you're trying to say… 'borrowed' power… did you come to make an even bigger fool out of me? If not…" he pauses, wondering what Izuku could be trying to say. It further cemented what he already knew: Deku's no liar. He may avoid confrontation and prove a coward, but he'd never told a lie. Katsuki doubts he even can. As it occurs to him that Izuku approached him because of his earlier battle-cries of Deku's deceit, Bakugou Katsuki is again reminded of his inner ugliness. Izuku's capacity to see through people was still as strong as ever and he was piercing through all the crap, as he always had. Katsuki's faults presented so glaringly before him, his defense mechanism triggers in the form of towering, red-hot rage. "Then so what? Today… you beat me, dumb-ass! That's all there is to it! That's all…"
The memories of what he'd seen of his classmates' performances flashes before his eyes and he grouses petulantly, trying hard to keep the tears at bay. Never be a top hero… he presses the heel of his palms to his eyes, growling obscenities under his breath as he lets it all go. "And did you get a good look at that ice-guy? I thought he was nothing before..! Fuck! What that ponytail-chick said really sunk in. Shit…. Goddamn it!" He lowers his hands, wiping them on his trousers in an effort to keep his quirk at bay. As it was, his body was screaming for the need for release. "You too…! Deku!" He opens his eyes, ashamed at the tears that blur his vision. Still, Izuku's face holds the courage he needs to slam the lid on his powers and stay in complete control. He recalls the times he'd made Izuku cry and finds it ironic that his first tears in years are spilled before him.
"From here on out…" Katsuki falters, and Izuku's brows plunge with worry and suddenly he can breathe again. He inhales deeply, reminding himself who he is looking at, and makes the one vow he intends to keep. "From here on out, you listening? I'm gonna be number one!"
For you… for me… I'll be a top hero, I swear.
I promise you, Deku.
The End.
Words: 2,600
This was a surprisingly inspired piece. I wrote it in three parts (they're a little disjointed, but I hope they run smoothly), but it basically just came down like the flood of sweet Moses on me. (Yeah, it's Noah who had the flood, but Moses parted A SEA, so I'll make my own convoluted biblical references as I please, thanks.)
I just… don't understand Kacchan. He's just such a complex character who's explosive and extroverted and temperamental… and yet…
For someone who says he hates Izuku, he's never actually hurt him too badly and even ACTIVELY AVOIDS IT during battle. Despite his raging temper and his rather harmful quirk, he's never killed anyone (this really surprises me; Kacchan's not your typical law-abiding, stand up citizen. He is a law unto himself, but he's never taken life before. That is something I think shows who he really is). For someone who is determined to be as manly as could be, he allows Izuku to call him by his childhood nickname (and ONLY Izuku, no other boy in his memories calls him that). His type rarely thinks things through, but he's the THIRD in his class ranking. As much vitriol as he spews, he doesn't insult quite as creatively as other "thugs" his age. He's never forgotten Izuku's name, his full name, the things they went through as children or even the specific manifestations of his quirk… but he can't even recall his classmate's faces. During the "human-cavalry battle" or whatnot, Katsuki doesn't even chase after Izuku. He's blocked by that idiot from class B, but if Katsuki truly wanted Izuku's headband, he'd doggedly chase it like a hellhound. Also, he figured out a way to completely destroy Kirishima and strategized accordingly, proof that he's not some Neanderthal.
Kacchan doesn't just hate Izuku… but it's not sunshine and rainbows and kittens either. It's a complicated set of confused thoughts, feelings, experiences and memories; that's what makes me love them so damn much. These boys are so human and I adore that.
Remember, all of this is in Katsuki's point of view, so he doesn't know that Izuku kinda-sorta-maybe hates him too.
My Kacchan is a diligent guy who's fought hard to be strong. Sure, he has an inborn talent, but he doesn't rely entirely on it; proved by his creative and versatile use of his quirk. He's trained to fly and fight hand-to-hand; he can keep his temper well enough to allow those around him to live and he respects those who earn his regard. He's smarter than he lets on, catching the nuances of battle shrewdly and using them to his advantage. He keeps the promises he makes, cornering himself and armed to the teeth for them. He's got great grades and he's organized… I think I'm in love.
Forgive me, Father, for I have fangirled. I think Mama Bakugou did too, she's my girl.
