Aaargh!! Drowning in revision! Crutches have gone though :)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Legion of Superheroes or any of characters, or Ohio. On the other hand, I do own IOZB, but more will be revealed later on.
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It turns out that life is often staggeringly unfair.
Take, for example, The Awfully Good Looking Chap Without A Goatee, a.k.a. Lightning Lad. Here he was, stuck in a rather large box with the words 'OUR CURRIED SQUID HAS NEVER BEEN BETTERED' stamped across the side, with only a Blonde Chap In An Anorak Who Likes Bread, a.k.a. Brainiac 5, for company.
Lightning Lad's Undecided Girlfriend Who Is Constantly Comatose, a.k.a. Saturn Girl, was at that moment not in a coma, but waiting for him on the banks of Lake IOZB (named after the enormous factory that overshadows it) to go out on their date, and he was keen to spend as much time as possible with her before she was inevitable knocked out by an enormous monster from outer space with a side parting and purple toenails. Only Lightning Lad wasn't able to be with Saturn Girl right now, due to the fact that he was in a box. As I have said before, life is often staggeringly unfair.
"Life is often staggeringly unfair," Lightning Lad lamented to his box mate. "I mean, you're not nearly as much fun to kiss as Saturn Girl. Not that I've ever tried you out of course, but I can imagine."
Brainiac 5 tried to say something sympathetic, but failed because his mouth was full of bread.
*****
Meanwhile, in a small town in Ohio…
"Gladys! We're out of curried squid!"
"Well, go down to the store to fetch some, Doris!"
"Ok, I'll be back soon!"
*****
As we rejoin our boxed heroes, we find them both in a bit of a state (well, who wouldn't be?)
The box lurched from side to side, and Lightning Lad wondered where the hell he was. He wasn't really concerned about where Brainy was, even though Brainy was practically sitting next to him. Besides, it was clear to Lightning Lad that Brainy was irreparably stuck in California (A.N. as in, how much is that doggy in the window?) He also looked a bit seasick, but then again that may have been the light. "Brainy, are you seasick?" Lightning Lad inquired.
"No. But I have a tube of PVA glue if it's any use to you."
Lightning Las sighed and wondered (again) where the hell he was. He also wondered various other things such as: Is there any nutritional value in dog biscuits? How many roads must a man walk down? How long would he be able to put up with Brainy humming 'We Went to the Animal Fair', and, what would he look like with a goatee?
*****
Just as this thought passed through Lightning Lad's head, Saturn Girl walked into the Legion headquarters in a bit of a fluster to be honest.
"Triplicate Girl!" she gasped, once having finally ascended all of 72 flights of stairs (the lift was broken). "I haven't seen Garth for ages. Have you seen him?"
"No, last time I saw him he was off on a mission with Brainy to Lake IOZB."
"I know, he was supposed to meet me there afterwards for our date, but he hasn't turned up. It was only a simple patrol, why would it take so long?" Just then, Saturn Girl's communication device sounded. She recognised the personalised intonation. "Garth!" she cried.
"Hey, Imra."
"Garth, where are you? You didn't turn up and we're all beginning to worry and-"
"Imra, what would I look like with a goatee?"
Imra nearly fainted from the kind of irritation only Undecided Girlfriends can possess. "Garth. Listen. Where-"
"Yes, but-what would I look like?"
"Like an idiot, I expect, now-"
"Ok, thanks. Bye!" *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
"Oorrgh!"
*****
Meanwhile, back in our small town in Ohio…
"Gladys! Gladys! Gladys something terrible has happened!"
"What is it Doris?!"
"The store hasn't had its order of curried quid delivered yet!"
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Dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuuh!
Read and review please! Next chapter coming soon! (you lucky people)
