Devil may cry lunacy continued.

Alright, this is my fourth fanfic. I'll try to make into a parody this time, some how. You will see that this chapter mainly consists of me Dante, Nevan and Arkham fighting over the computer. The chapters that follow consist of random stupidity that may endanger your IQ so read at your own risk.

Dante: Your stories suck woman. Just admit it. I think the first review that you got told the truth about it.

Me: shut it!!

(One of these days he will pay. I should not have taken him out of hell. I should leave him there.)

Dante: Oi! If you left me in hell you won't have any to annoy besides that bitch Nevan.

Me: Well she's better than you! And much more kind too.

Dante: Alright get on with the story already! Maldita cadela!

Me: Fijo de um cadela!

It so happens that the author and Dante don't get along vey well. Oh by the way since she's busy arguing with that jackass, I Nevan will continue with the story that she was about to write. Don't ask what their saying. It's something in Portuguese.

It all started when the idiot Nero got it into his head to put up a sign on the window of the authors house saying this:

"WARNING: THIS AREA IS GUARDED BY A LUNATIC WITH A SHOTGUN. NOBODY KNOWS WHEN SHE COMES TO WORK!"

This pissed her off so she had to chase him down with her infamous shotgun. Where she got a shotgun I'll never know but then again since she's a Portuguese immigrant, I'm not surprised. Anyway after many hours of chasing after a retard, she went back to her house only to find that Arkham took over her computer and was sending crypt e-mail messages to her relatives in Portugal.

"What the hell?! What are you doing on my computer you bald jackass?" she said.

"Nothing." Arkham said.

He didn't hear her come through the front door. I'm guessing she climbed through the window. She does stupid things like that. One of these days saten is going to get her. He can't now since seeing that she turned him into a small dragon. Anyway he was scared so much that he was afraid of shitting his pants. Sofia seeming to read his mind says to him:

"O no sir! If you're going to do that do it in the toilet. This carpet is brand new and I'm not going to get another one after that asshole Dante threw up on it."

All you need to know about the author is that every time she tries to put a carpet in her house; Dante goes and pukes on it. I think it comes from eating too much pizza. She still hasn't forgiven him for that. Those carpets cost a lot I'll tell you that. Anyway back to the conversation.

"Nothing does not mean your sending your sending my grandma stupid messages claiming that your bin laden." She says furiously.

"For one I'm not sending any thing to your grandma." Arkham says.

"Then what are you doing on my computer?"

"You received a message from Mundus.''

"What the fuck does mundus want?"

"I don't know I'm just a random asshole."

"Your right about that. Where are Dante and Nevan?" she asks.

"Nevan is in the living room watching wheel of fortune and I do not know what Dante is doing nor do I want to know" Arkham tells her.

Just then Nero comes in. (Wait. Isn't he supposed to be dead? I thought Sofia killed him. That's her name by the way.)

Sofia: Nevan do not put my name in this fanfic.

Nevan: Why?

Sofia: Because nobody needs to know!

Anyway shut up Sofia and let me go back to the story. Anyway When Nero came in Sofia started to attack him again because she hates him. The reason for this is that once when she went to get her lottery money and found that it wasn't there she got pissed. Nero took it for better reason then to annoy her. From then on those two have a war every time they see each other. Things got out of hand until Dante came in and said he caught Bin Laden for some reason.

Sofia: No you didn't and stop lying. Last time you said you caught bin laden it was that asshole president Bush. Seriously, were you drunk when you caught him? If it was me I would have murdered him instead of tying him tying him to a chair.

Dante: Hey I did throw him in the river with a knife stuck in his back didn't I ?

Nero: That's the only good thing you ever did you dumbass! Now shut up and get Sofia off the computer.

Sofia: And why do you want to take away my computer may I ask?

Nero: No you may not ask little bitch because it's none of your business.

Sofia: YOUR GONNA DIE DIPSHIT!!!

This is where things get out of hand. Nero fights with his stupid arm and poor Sofia has to be content with the scythe that she stole from the grim reaper. Don't ask how she did it because I can't tell you. If you go to her homepage you'll see what she looks like in the story. Anyway despite the scythe being a crappy weapon she was really kicking the shit out of Nero. She had to stop though because Dante was going to put the restrain jacket on her if she didn't. I won't tell you all the details but she once escaped from the nuthouse because they were going to put the restrain jacket on her. It wasn't a pretty sight either. Don't ask any more because I want to forget about it. Now back to the story.

Sofia follows Dante to where he says he "caught Bin laden'' but instead he locks her in the basement.

Sofia: HEY!!!

Dante: ha, ha! Now the computer is mine!

Sofia: Yeah if you can get Nevan off of it.

Dante: That can be arranged.

Sofia thinks of what he's going to do and realizes with horror that he is going to do the same exact thing that Nevan did to him after he got locked in her room.

Sofia: NO!!! NEVAN GET OFF THAT COPUTER AND FAST!

Nevan: Why? And why are you locked in the basement?

Sofia: Dante locked me in here and he's going to do the same thing that you did to him when you locked him your room.

Nevan: But I'm not finished typing the story!

Sofia: The hell with the story!!! Get off and run ! While your at it could you get me out of the basement?

Nevan: fine but are you sure that you want Dante on your computer?

Sofia: He has his own file on my computer. Now get me out of here already! I think phantom wants to eat me!

Well this is the end of this chapter but more will follow . Oh, it seems Sofia is going to type something now. Bye!

Okay I don't care if you liked this or thought it was the worst piece of crap you seen just review!

Dante: I think it's a piece of crap.

Sofia: FUCK OFF!!