Lucas slammed the door closed behind him. He was so confused, about everything. But mostly Peyton. She was back. He saw her standing right in front of him. Well, actually across the street. She didn't seem to notice him, but he definitely saw her. He didn't understand his feelings. He was mad at Peyton. He had been ever since she broke up with him for no reason. But when he saw her again this night, he forgot about all that, and those anger feelings made place for feelings he hadn't felt in a long time. And it felt good. Better yet, it felt right. But it wasn't suppose to feel right or good.. He was with Lindsey.
Lindsey. He didn't even notice her sitting on his bed. She didn't face him, but he could tell that there was something bothering her. He figured that she was bothered with the fact that he left three hours ago because they had a fight, and he didn't even call her to tell her that he was okay.

'Linds?' He stroke her hair and sat down next to her.
For the first time since he came in, she looked at him. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, but she wasn't sad. There was a sparkle in her eyes, and she seemed nervous for some reason.
'Lindsey, what's wrong?'
'Nothing, Lucas', she smiled. 'I thought there was, but there's not.'
'Are you sure, because I feel really bad about what happened tonight. I should have called you.'
'I was so angry with you. Because this fight that we had tonight, it hurt me so much. But the fact that you didn't even seem to care that I was worried about you while you were away, hurt me even more.'
'I'm sorry, Lindsey. I didn't mean to hurt you.'
'I know you didn't. But you know what's strange? I was so mad at you, and I realised that I could only be mad if I loved you. You know?'
'Not really', he said carefully.
Suddenly Lindsey smiled and took his hands.
'I was mad because I thought that I was going to lose you tonight. And I realised that I didn't want to. I never want to lose you.'
'Lindsey, please..'
'Let me finish. I love you, Lucas Scott. And I love us together, and I don't want it any other way.' She smiled and looked into his beautiful eyes. 'And I know this isn't how it usually goes, but I'm doing it anyway.'
Lucas watched how she got down on one knee, and was shocked. He didn't want this to happen. Not tonight. Not with Lindsey. Before tonight he wanted this with Lindsey, yes, but not anymore.
'Lucas Scott, will you please marry me?'
But she did it anyway. And he couldn't prevent it from happening. He had to hurt yet another woman he once loved.

'Lindsey..' He sighed and looked away. But even then he felt how much she wanted this, them. And how much courage it took her to ask this. And now, in only one minute, he was going to break her heart.
'You are a beautiful woman, and you have so much to offer. And there is a man who loves you and wants to marry you. But I would be lying if I said that the man I was talking about is me. And I know that sounded terrible, and I'm sorry. But I am not the guy for you, Lindsey.'

She stared at him. She wasn't able to say anything, because it hurt her too much to speak. But after a few minutes she got up, and frustrated as she was, she started to cry and scream at the same time.
'What do you mean, Lucas? Before tonight we were okay. This fight isn't worth breaking up for!'
'It's not because of this fight, Lindsey. Or.. maybe it is. I don't know.'
'Then what is it?' she cried.
'Lindsey, please..'
'Let me guess. Peyton Sawyer.'
Now it was Lucas' turn to be surprised. How did she know that he was thinking about Peyton.
'What, How-'
'I know she's back.'
What! She knew that Peyton was back, and she didn't even bother telling him.
'How?' he only asked.
'I saw her with Brooke and Haley about two months ago', Lindsey said and looked at him as if she didn't break major news to him.
'What?! She has been back for two months! Why didn't you tell me?'
'It didn't seem important. And I thought that if I told you, I would lose you that same minute.'
'That's crazy!' he yelled.
'No it's not!' she fired back. 'Because I was right, wasn't I? You saw her tonight, and now you're breaking up with me!'
'Lindsey, please.'
'It's the truth, right? You love Peyton. More than you love me.'
'It's not like that.'
'Then what is it like, Luke?'
'I have to know why she's back. I have to know why she hid herself from me. I am still mad at her, Lindsey. You have to understand that. But I just have to know why she's back', he said and tried to make more excuses.
'So find that out, and then come back to me.'
'Lindsey, please..'
He lost count of how many times he had said it in these fifteen minutes, but it was the only thing he could say.
'Lucas she left you! But I'm the one that stayed with you! After high school she left you, she broke up with you!'
Lucas turned away when he heard Lindsey say that. He had heard that so many times. Peyton broke up with him, he knew that! She didn't have to rub it in.
'I am the one who's here with you now.'
'Now you are!' Lucas started to get just as angry as Lindsey was.
'I'm sorry, Lindsey, but you haven't been with me always. Peyton was there when Keith died. Peyton was there when Lily was born, and Peyton was there when my dreams came true.'
'What do you mean? I was here with you when your book was published. I am the one that made sure your book would get published.'
'I know, and I love you for that. But I once told someone what my dreams were, and I had two. My first dream was to play basketball, and my second was that book.'
'But you don't play basketball, Lucas. You are a writer.'
'And I love writing, I really do. But I would give up everything if I could play ball again. But anyway, that's not the point.'
'No, the point is that you love Peyton.' She turned around and started throwing things through the room, at Lucas.
'I am so stupid!'
'Lindsey, please. You are not stupid.'
'Yes, I am! Because I wanted you loved me. ME! But deep down I knew that you loved Peyton. I can't compete with her. And I knew that. That's why I kept my mouth shut about her being back. And I could ignore Peyton. Because she doesn't know who I am. But I couldn't ignore your feelings for her, it was - is so obvious! But still I asked you to marry me! You let me make a fool of myself!'
'I'm sorry, Lindsey. I'm sorry that I didn't stop you. But you have to know something: I love you. I really do. But I can't give you what you deserve. I can't give you my heart. Because somebody else already has it.'
He was surprised by what he said. For three years he had been denying that Peyton Sawyer was a huge part of his life. And now he said it, out loud.
He looked at Lindsey and realised that no matter what he would say, it wouldn't make this situation any better.
'Believe me when I say that there is a man out there who will make you happy and..'
'Don't do this! Do try to sweet talk me! You are wrong, and you know it! But don't worry, I will pack my bags and leave if that is what you want.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Stop apologizing. It won't make things any better. And besides, I don't want to hear it. So please Lucas, go. I don't care where you will go to, but just get out of here. And when you come back, I won't be here anymore.'
'Lindsey, don't do this. Can't we just talk about this?' he pleaded.
'What's there to talk about. We already said everything we wanted to say. It's clear you don't want me anymore. And without you, I don't have any reason to stay here.'
Lucas layed his hand on her shoulder, but she pulled back.
'Goodbye, Luke.' While she said that, it was as if her heart was being ripped out and stomped on. Her heart broke into a million pieces.
Lucas left, but only because she wanted him to. It didn't feel right to him to leave her behind like that. He felt like they didn't talk it out, and that they should. But even then she wouldn't understand, hell he barely understood it himself! He was still furious with Peyton, and he didn't want to be in love with her. He wanted to hate her, and he didn't want to talk to her, ever again. But on the other hand he couldn't keep away from her.


He got into his car and drove away from his own house, not knowing where he was going. For an hour or so he drove around in Tree Hill, but then ended up in front of Peyton's house. He expected her to be there, but she wasn't. Then he stepped into his car again, and drove to Brooke's place.
Brooke was at home, he saw her car standing there. So he got out of his car and knocked on the door. Nobody opened it. He started to slam the door, until Brooke opened it.
'Lucas, what are you doing? It's after midnight!'
'Where is she?' Lucas said fierce.
'Where is who?'
'Peyton? Where is Peyton?'
'Lucas, what are you talking about? Peyton is in LA.'
Lucas shook his head and couldn't believe that Brooke was standing right in front of him, and she was lying about it to his face.
'Don't even try to deny it, Brooke! I saw her today! And she's not at home, so she must be here! Where is she?' he asked again. He got angrier by the minute.
After keeping her mouth shut, and realising that she couldn't deny it anymore she said: 'Okay.. she's back. But she's not here.'
'Then were is she Brooke? I need to talk to her.'
'Don't you get it? She told everyone in this town to not tell you that she's back. She doesn't want to talk to you, Lucas.'
'Brooke, you're treating me like I'm the bad guy. She dumped me, not the other way around, remember?'
'I know, and she still didn't tell me why she did that. But she made it pretty clear that she didn't want to talk to you.'
'Brooke, you hid her from me for two months. You owe it to me to tell me where she is.'
Lucas's face changed. He was no longer angry with her for keeping Peyton from him, but he was begging her to tell him where she was. He didn't want to go to her to yell at her. He really wanted to see her. And Brooke wanted to tell him where she was. Even if it was only to get to know why she broke up with him. Because Peyton still didn't tell anybody why she did it. As a matter of fact, Peyton was keeping herself pretty quiet since she came back. She only spoke about LA, and nothing else.
Ultimately she gave in and told Lucas that she was staying at Haley and Nathan's place.
She wanted to explain why she wasn't staying with her, but Lucas didn't want her explanation. He turned around and got into his car again. His heart was racing and he couldn't focus on the road. Normally it didn't take long to get to Haley and Nathan. But this time it took him half an hour. And when he finally got there, he stayed in his car a few minutes longer. But then he found the courage to knock on the door. At first he managed it to stay calm, but when Haley opened the door and smiled at him as if nothing was wrong, he exploded again.
'I know she's here, Haley. So don't try to deny it anymore. Where is she?'
'Whoa, calm down Luke. What's going on? And where is who?'
'I've just been at Brooke's house and she told me that Peyton was here.'
Haley sighed and closed her eyes.
'I'm sorry, Lucas.'
'I don't want your apologies. Where is she!' Lucas yelled.
Nathan, who had kept himself quiet, now intervened.
'Stop it, Lucas! You're acting like an idiot!'
'I'm the idiot?' he shook his head and raised his voice. 'You both kept it a secret, and now you still don't want to tell me where she is? Even though Brooke just told me she is here? And I'm the idiot?'
He looked for her in the kitchen, the living room and even outside. When he wanted to walk up the stairs and go see if Peyton was there, Nathan stretched his hands in front of it.
'Lucas, stop!'
'Is she there?'
'She is sleeping. In case you haven't notice, it's past midnight.'
'I need to talk to Peyton.'
'And you can, but not tonight', Nathan said calm. 'I will tell her that you have been here, and that you know that she's back. I will tell her that you want to talk to her, and I'll convince her that you have the right to talk to her. Tomorrow. Not tonight.'
Lucas just stood there and didn't say a thing. He felt stupid for coming here tonight. He should have waited until tomorrow.
'Go home to Lindsey and get some sleep', Haley tried.
Lucas walked to the couch and sat down. He rubbed his arms, and looked at the floor.
'I broke up with her. She's gone.'
'What? Why?' they both asked shocked.
'I don't know! She proposed to me, and all of the sudden I realised that Lindsey was not right for me. And so I said no. Well actually I said that I wasn't right for her, and that it was better if she would go.'
He didn't tell them that he broke up with her because of Peyton. They didn't have to know that.
'I'm really sorry, Lucas. Now I understand why you're so upset. But maybe you need a good night sleep. And then tomorrow, when you feel better, you can talk to Peyton', Haley suggested. 'So go home, Lucas. And please be careful when you drive home.'
Lucas understood why she said that. He was still angry, and he would probably not focus on the road and cause a huge accident. So Haley calmed him down before he went home.

Haley walked back inside after she made sure Lucas got home safe. She looked at her husband and sighed.
'Things got way out of hand, Nathan. I knew it was wrong that we didn't tell him. And I knew Lucas would end up getting hurt. But I didn't expect that he would break up with Lindsey.'
'Do you think he broke up with Lindsey because of Peyton?'
Haley shrugged. 'I don't know. I used to be so good at reading Lucas, but now I can't anymore. I don't know what's going on inside his head. But I wouldn't be surprised if he broke up with Lindsey over her.'
Haley looked up, as if she looked through the ceiling at the room where Peyton slept.
'Is she still sleeping?' Haley asked worried.
'Yeah. I checked up on her and she's fast asleep. I'm glad she didn't hear Lucas yelling.'
Haley nodded and let herself fall on the couch, into Nathan's arms.

But what they didn't know was that Peyton wasn't asleep at all. When she heard that someone was coming up the stairs, she pretended to sleep, so that she didn't have to talk to anyone. And so that no one had to see her tears. She heard Lucas, loud and clear. And it broke her heart. Just like it did when she saw him this night.

Flashback
It was good being outside, Peyton thought to herself. She hadn't been outside much because she was busy trying to avoid Lucas. She had been back for over two months and still she was not ready to face Lucas. It was hard staying inside, even though Haley and Nathan's house was big enough to stay inside there all week. She was glad that she wasn't at Brooke's place. Not only because that house wasn't nearly as big as Nathan's, but also because Owen was there almost day and night. Brooke and Owen hadn't been together that long and she didn't want to be in their way. That's why she asked Haley if she could stay there, and asked her if she wanted to keep her mouth shut to Lucas.
But now she was outside, she regretted that. Because she was now forced to stay inside for the most part of the day. She knew that if she would go out in broad daylight, she would bump into Lucas eventually. That's why she waited untill it was after ten o'clock pm.

She looked up and stared at the stars in the sky. But when she wanted to cross the road, she saw him standing there. Lucas Scott. They guy she had been avoiding. He didn't see her, and that was a good thing. And when she looked at him, old feelings started to come back. But at the same time her heart broke, and she felt a stinging pain. The pain of knowing that they weren't together anymore. She looked around and ran to a place where could stand sheltered. But she still looked at him. Lucas didn't change one bit. Maybe he grew a little beard, but everything else was still the same. And that was the thing that was making her feel miserable. She hoped that he would have gain a few pounds and would be really ugly, but deep down she knew that that was never going to happen. Lucas was still the guy she fell in love with. Still the guy she told four years ago she would never leave him. He was still the guy who told her he would wait for her when she came back LA. She felt her eyes welling up, and before it would get worse, she ran away, so Lucas wouldn't see her.

The minute she got home, she ran upstairs. Haley and Nathan were asleep, so she didn't have to explain why she was crying. She let herself fall on the bed, and cried herself to sleep.
She wished that she could sleep. The one thing that kept her from sleeping was Lucas, and that feeling she got when she saw him standing there.
Ultimately she fell asleep because she was so tired. But Lucas' voice woke her up again. He was here, and he was asking for her. She figured that he must've seen her. He yelled that he wanted to talk to her, but then Nathan said something she couldn't really hear, and then Haley told him to go home.
End Flashback

And now she was lying here, wide awake. She wished she could lie here all day and that she didn't have to face anyone the next day. Because she knew that she was going to have to talk about him.
With those thoughts she fell asleep again.

When she woke up the next day, she knew that it would be a horrible day. But she couldn't avoid it any longer, so she got out of bed, dressed herself and walked down the stairs. To the kitchen, where Haley, Nathan and Jamie were having breakfast.
'Hey, sweetie', Haley said and smiled. 'I'm sorry we didn't wait for you, but we didn't want to wake you.'
'Oh that's okay. I'm not really that hungry anyway.'
Haley smiled again and looked at Nathan and Jamie.
'Okay, buddy', she said to Jamie, 'let's go, you're gonna be late for school.'
'Do I really have to go?' Jamie asked.
Peyton smiled while the little boy continued to beg his mother that he wouldn't have to go to school.
'I could stay here with auntie Peyton and eat ice creams? Please?'
Peyton walked up to him. 'You know what? After you've been to school, I will eat ice creams with you for the rest of the day. But then you have to go to school now.'
'Promise?'
'Promise.'
'Pinky swear?' Jamie asked.
Peyton laughed and shook his pink with hers. 'Pinky swear.'
Now Jamie couldn't wait to get to school.

'Thank you', Nathan said laughing when Haley and Jamie were gone.
'No problem. I would love to take him out later.'
'Are you sure? You might bump into Lucas.'
'That's no longer a problem, is it? He already knows I am back.'
Nathan sighed. 'You heard him last night, didn't you.'
Peyton nodded. 'It's okay, though. It's not your fault. I should've seen it coming.'
'He asked if you would talk to him today. Well, actually he demanded it.'
'Yeah, I heard that.'
'You think you're up for that? You don't have to if you don't want to. I can go and tell Lucas that you don't want to talk to him.'
'Bet he would like that', Peyton joked.
'Doesn't matter. It's about what you want.'
Peyton didn't say anything, but Nathan waited patiently for her to tell him that she didn't want to go.
'I really appreciate it that you are so protective over me, Nate. But I think it's time that I face my fears and go talk to Lucas.'
Nathan nodded. 'He's probably at the Rivercourt. Good luck.'
'Thank you.' She stood up and hugged him. 'You are a really good friend, Nate.'
Nathan smiled. 'You deserve it', he said and watched her walk trough the door. He was glad that she decided to meet up with Lucas. She had to face him eventually. And it was about time that everyone found out why Peyton broke up with Lucas. Including Lucas.