I'LL REMEMBER YOU TOMORROW
Chapter 1: To Leave You Today
I looked at her and my heart started to break.
Her head bowed low to the ground as her knees had already given way. Likewise, her face and her clothes were already smudge up with dark, inky puddles of mud, all around.
Her sobs rang plaintive in the air, and together with it, the sound of my heart breaking kept me strangely aware that I had forever hurt the one I love.
I was not worthy for her
That much, and still forever becomes the pained truth I had hopelessly tried to hide from myself. That I could never be with her, no matter how hard I try…
And now… the urge to run to her and refute the words I have spoken a while ago, came temptingly teasing to my mind. But and still, nothing could ever change, with what we find with ourselves now.
45 minutes ago, I was happy that I was going to see her. And now, 45 minutes later, I wished I never met her.
The urge to cry had already begun to envelop me. But my pride still did not falter, and by then all I was left to do was watch her… her form, quivering and unmoving, drenched in these dark rainy night that forever will be remembered in her life.
I love you, Kaoru
That much I know is still and forever will be the truth. Not another woman, nor a child, could give me the solace and redemption that you have for eternity believed fit even for an unworthy one like me.
FLASHBACK -
"Kenshin…" Tomoe's distressed voice resonated calmly through the air, as she entered my office and sat lithely on one of my black leather chairs, that Kaoru had carefully chose for me.
I look at her dearly, Tomoe, despite our college 'affair' had become and remained a very deep, spiritual friend, even after Kaoru had entered my life. Her white-polished beauty was still there, although I still secretly preferred Kaoru's alabaster, cream-ish skin over this woman's pale, untainted beauty.
Her white, laced shawl had been wound around her shoulders and was carefully masked around her body, although there was an unusual bulge developing in her mid-section.
Of course, I was no dum-dum in matters such as this… I knew right then and there, that the woman in front of me was pregnant and not simply, growing fat.
I grinned at her, but suppressed a chuckle. "Tomoe, Congratulations! I know Akira would be happy!" I said to her, which unusually made her eyes widen in surprise.
"You knew?" she asked me, although surprise clearly radiated from her eyes.
"Well, it isn't that hard with your tummy bulging and all!" I said, my eyes twinkling and my mouth pursed in what I call, my boyish grin."
Tomoe's surprised look drooped down and a small scowl appeared on her lips. She released my hand and began to look away from me. "So how's Kaoru?"
My heart swelled with familiar warmth at the mention of Kaoru's name. It was like it was a teenage crush I was having, only this time around; I knew this crush would last until the day I die and never go away.
"Kaoru's great! She's got a new job and all, and she's really excited about it!"
"I see…"
And with that she said her goodbye. Casting me one last look of what I thought was pure longing and love, I also said my farewells, and saw her through the door.
Not until, about 5 minutes later. I received a call from Akira… His voice hurt and angry, as he cursed me over and over again, and told me I was the biggest hypocrite on Earth. Of course, I was readily calm and did not assumed my defensive stance against him. Well, not until…
"And where's your other bitch, huh? Are you playing with her as well!"
"Akira! What the is the matter with you?"
"Curse you Himura! You , fu-ing ba! Tomoe's pregnant! And it's not mine! It's YOURS!"
The words hit me and by then everything seemed to blacked out. I had already dropped the receiver as I heard the other line go dead. It's noise droned on, coupled with the few breathless heaves I made, the numbing feeling developing into my legs, paralyzing me to my post…
As much as I tried not to believe Akira's words, I had this gut feeling, that it was very well mine. The only thing bothering me, was the way I pictured that night.
One night…
Three hours after Kaoru and me had a fight. I was drunk and had been soaked heavily in the rain, after stalking off from the restaurant where she was…
I came to Tomoe, who had greeted me urgently right at the door. Her face, seemingly bemusing of all the smiles I've had & seen giving me weird Kaoru-like hallucinations of her, as the alcoholic effect of the 3 large bottles of beer I took, started to take its effect on me.
Lust had by then, taken over me, as I saw, yet again, the elegant smile, I had yet to see again, since we had parted our ways in college.
That night was a mistake. The touching, the moans and the sobs were all mistake.
The next day, I apologized to her and left her afterwards. Guilt had taken over me, not only for possessing her but also for betraying Kaoru.
"Kaoru…"
A step back… that was what I needed to keep me going on… away from her. Away from my Kaoru.
Her sobs were now soft and stifled, although it still resonated in my head. I turned on my heel and slowly walked away.
She would know nothing and remember only the painful memory of me, leaving…
That was when I had let it all go down, the rain mixing haplessly with my tears, I bit my lower lip from quivering farther.
No words of farewell... no goodbyes.
Just silence in this deep dark night.
'Goodbye Kaoru…'
-----------------------
I stared at Kenshin's back for almost like an eternity. Watching as he disappeared into the depth of the night, with only the soft shuffling of his footsteps, resonating in the air.
Away from me…
These words sounded unusual to my ears. Kenshin was never away from me. Never. Not even when way back in College, where we had only been friends.
He had a girlfriend then, Tomoe-san. And I had a dream, likewise. To only be the best.
But until recently… the dream vanished and in its place, a hope had taken place. A hope that one day, I'll be with Kenshin, bearing his children and raising up the family, that I never had in my childhood.
But that had vanished too…
What I was…
Where I was…
In this part of my life…
I don't even know…
I just know that I need Kenshin. Terribly. Just terribly.
A few teardrops fell again, on the wet, patch of ground I was sitting on. Although I never really tried to stand up, I just stood there, unmoving. My ears totally deaf and my eyes totally blind to my surroundings.
The numbing feeling was there, resurfacing again… Holding me on, tightly as it pulled me farther and farther to its inner depths…
Through half-lidded eyes, I stared at the ground… my vision, blurry and unperceiving. Shifting, a bit to the side, I reached on and carelessly wiped my face, with the sleeve of my blouse. Suppressing some groans, as each bone cracked on its way, as I tried my best to move it… I stood up and walked… following the path where Kenshin had left onto…
'I have to find him…'
The words of desperation clung to the blank vacuum that is my mind… I didn't want the feeling, I hated it and I knew I didn't want to be this dependent.
But I can't help it…
NO!
I won't help it!
I want Kenshin… and I want him here…
To make all the things alright…
Again.
I reached out my hand
the speeding,
screeching sound,
inaudible to my ears… Not until the impact had gone by and past, did I start to feel anything at all…
The metallic taste & smell of blood filled my senses as oblivion had started to crept up its way on towards my consciousness…
My memory…
My life…
-----------------------
Aoshi Shinomori was dead tired; it was after all, that this shift was actually his last.
'Finally…'
The word seemed to resound in his mind, as his attention turned back again, to the clinging and clanking of the scalpels and needles as an urgent intern passed him by, unknowingly brewing in him, the melodious sing-song rhythm, which had filled his senses, blank.
Almost lulling him to sleep…
Slowly, as he made his way, towards the hospital lobby, his now blood-spattered overcoat was finally off, afterwards neatly deposited in the arms of a giggling, red-faced, young nurse he met on the way.
'You going home now, doc?'
He sighed irritably as the smiling old doorman, met him on his way, opening the huge, ivy-colored walls for him.
'Hai!' was the only thing he could muster up, as he stalked off away from the doorman.
Giving a one last peek at his watched which now conveniently read, 2:30 a.m. He rode off in the night, in his black DUCATI, meeting an urgent ambulance on the way…
Arrha: A new RK fanfiction for all of you guys, out there. Yeah! But I know I really am getting bad at this, starting a new story without even updating, 'Mes-Alliance' (another RK fic of mine). But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about that story so expect an update soon enough! I'm currently having my sembreak right now so a lot of time is in my hands. (3 weeks, I think?)
Anyways, reviews are all appreciated, and I hope you had certainly enjoyed the first serving of, 'I'll Remember You Tomorrow'. Pure RK Drama and Fun! More coming, soon!
