Where Blame Falls A/N: This is a letter-or perhaps a monologue, take your pick-from Draco Malfoy to Lucius and Narcissa after the Battle of Hogwarts, when Draco knows he's in over his head with the Death Eaters. Please review. All feedback is welcome.
Put me under this sky.
For what? To die? To be your slave?
To be there when Death you gave?
I don't want this anymore.
I need to go through a different door.
I made the wrong choice. Now you won't heed my voice.
I didn't want what you had.
You must think I'm going mad.
Not anymore do I want your money,
Nor for Mum to call me honey.
I try to escape your legacy
But I'm sinking in this sea.
I don't want to be with the Dark Lord.
I want a future my life can afford.
Afford? You wonder.
Yes, money's not the only thing with value.
Life, love, freedom, happiness.
They all have it, too. I won't lie.
The life you've given me is bad.
Am I straightforward enough now, Dad?
I hate being feared now.
I don't want people to look at me like I'm foul.
Did you ever even love each other?
You just married for the blood in your veins.
You taught me to expect wealth.
You were a terrible mother.
And Dad, you were wrong when told me power is the only thing to gain.
Did you ever love me?
They say when you love something, you set it free.
I guess you didn't, then.
It wasn't my future. It was yours.
You told me to hate every impurity.
Never give them the sense of security.
Don't be smart or humble or brave, but ruthless cunning-
Pick the House with silver and green.
I found out when I was fifteen I loved somebody,
But you hated her. Her blood was muddy.
I never told her I did.
I echoed you, told her her kind we would rid.
She went with Weasley.
Her and I-You would disagree.
You arranged my wedding.
I never knew love could sting.
I had to watch people die.
Not only watch, but cause it.
Blood on my hands, I wish I would die.
If I didn't, Voldemort would kill you in a fit.
I loved you.
You watched me as on my first broom I flew.
Maybe I just loved the idea of family.
Something others had, but not me and you.
I did it for us. So you could live.
With the Dark Lord's blackmail, I must. Not for me.
There's nothing left for me to live. I judged you wrong.
I loved our money-we could buy wizarding Hong Kong.
I thought you loved me,
But I was just in your game, a lowly pawn.
You gambled with my life
To get on Voldemort's good side.
Dammit, it made me mad.
You'll never be my mum and dad.
I don't want to be a Death Eater.
I'd rather be killed, like noble men like Mad-Eye and Saint Peter.
I want to apologize to Potter and Weasley,
Confess my love to Hermione on bended knee.
One of the Weasley twins died.
I used to ridicule them, but they were brave and would never hide.
I've seen George, and he's not the same.
This is what playing this does, playing this game.
I've stayed up at night in fear, in guilt.
Revenge on you would soon be dealt.
It's your fault I'm here,
Mine too, but on this train-it was up to you to steer.
I don't know if you ever loved me.
Do what you want. I'll just wait and see.
You won't find me, you can look, you can hunt.
I miss who you never were. Funny how things work.
I don't want to be you son. I don't want my blood to be pure.
This is it. I'm not your son anymore. I'm not another one of your pawns. Goodbye.
