A/N: Hello there! Are you ready to take a journey? I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance. This story does take a rather wicked turn later on. You've been warned. I'll try to update as often as I can. Please leave a comment! You're input is very much appreciated. Thank you and have a beautiful day :D


Chapter 1: When I Was Young

Kurt stuffed his tiny little fingers into his ears so he couldn't hear what else his father had to say. The action was pointless, though, given that he already couldn't hear over his own sobs.

"La la la la la la la la!" He chanted over and over to block out the sound even more. His voice was broken and hoarse.

His dad, Burt, didn't try to stop him. Truth be told, Burt wished he hadn't heard the news either. He just watched his impossibly fragile son crumble into a million pieces. He was trying his best not to do the same. Kurt dropped to the ground in the grass of their front lawn where he had just been playing carelessly. Normally, Kurt would try his best to keep from lying on the soft ground to avoid grass stains. Now, he didn't care. He didn't care about what his dad was saying. He didn't care about the ball he was playing with, which had now rolled into the street. He didn't care about the dance recital he had the next day. He didn't care about going to go see "Finding Nemo" that weekend like they had planned and he most certainly did not care about the grass stains on his pants. There was only one thing he cared about. His mother. And she was dead.

Burt reached out and hugged Kurt in an attempt to comfort him. Kurt kicked and screamed and cried with his fingers still stuffed in his ears. Burt didn't know what to do. How do you comfort your son after you tell him his mom is dead? Hug him? Give him a pat on the back? Tell him it's going to be okay? Burt most definitely did not know what to do. His wife would know what to do. Elizabeth would know exactly how to deal with the situation. But, of course, she wasn't there. In fact, her not being there was the problem.

Passersby watched the scene unfold. Some thought it was merely a child having a temper tantrum. Some thought that the child had done something wrong and his father was fixing to discipline him. All were caught by surprise when nothing else happened. The two just sat on their front lawn holding each other and weeping. They stayed that way for a while.

There was a soft knock at Kurt's bedroom door with a gently voice accompanying it.

"Kurt?" Said Burt as he leaned in through the doorway.

Kurt was sitting up in his bed cuddling a pillow against his chest. He nodded, signaling that it was okay for his father to enter. Burt shuffled in and sat at the end of his son's bed. Kurt didn't look at him. His red-rimmed eyes appeared to be lost somewhere else.

"Look, Kurt," His father started, but paused. He knew what he was going to say, it was how he was going to say it that troubled him. He had been practicing outside Kurt's door for the past hour, "This sucks. This really and truly sucks. It's not fair, and no one deserves that. No one deserves to have someone leave their life like that. No one deserves to die like-"

Burt stopped midsentence at the sight of tears forming in Kurt's eyes. It had only been several days since Elizabeth died of a heart attack. It was quite obviously still a touchy subject and would be for a long time. He leaned forward and grabbed his son's hand, giving it a firm squeeze.

"She loved you Kurt. That's what matters. She loved you more than you could ever know, and she was so proud of you, Kurt. I know that the past couple of days have been really hard, and you have been so strong, but if you could just find the courage deep down inside of yourself to come to her funeral-"

Kurt slowly began shaking his head.

"Why not." Burt asked. Kurt not wanting to attend his mother's funeral perplexed him. Why wouldn't the boy want to see his mother one last time before she was gone forever?

Kurt sat a moment and then took a deep shaky breath, "Because the last time I saw mommy, she was happy. I don't want to see her at the funeral dead. I don't want to remember her dead. I just want to remember the last time I saw her. When she was happy." He gripped his father's hand tightly as he started to tremble. He looked to Burt with his leaky eyes. "I don't want her to be dead, daddy. I want her to be happy."

Burt made a call to the funeral director that night. He made sure that it would be a closed-casket service.

If you asked Kurt when he was much older why he didn't want to see his mother at her funeral, he would say it was just some childish decision and that either way, it wouldn't have mattered to him weather he saw her or not. Of course, he would have been lying. Eight-year-old Kurt was set on keeping his final memory of his mother just the way it was. His mom was leaving for work, just as she did everyday. Nothing special. Nothing different. Kurt ran up and hugged her right before she left.

"Bye mommy! I love you!" He chirped.

His mother bent down to meet him at eye level. Her long brunette hair was cascading down her torso and her pacific blue eyes gleaming. Elizabeth gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "Bye Kurt. I love you, too."

And then she was gone. Out the door and never back through it. His father drove him to school before heading to the shop, just like everyday. When his dad came to pick him up on that Thursday afternoon, all Kurt could think about was the weekend.

"How long 'til Finding Meemo?" Kurt asked excitedly, jumping up and down in his seat, jostling his bag.

Burt chuckled, "I don't know about Finding Meemo, but we are going to go see Finding Nemo."

Kurt threw his head back and let out an exaggerated sigh, "You know that's what I mean! When are we gonna see it?"

"In 2 days. But first, you have your dance recital tomorrow. Why your mother signed you up for it in the first place, I'll never know." He grumbled

"But I like dancing, dad." Kurt countered sheepishly.

"I know, I know. It's just not exactly the manliest thing out there. You sure you don't want to play football or baseball or something like that?" His dad questioned, peering at him through the rearview mirror.

Kurt shook his head slowly and offered the same response, but quieter this time, "I like dancing."

Burt sighed, "Soccer? Track?"

Kurt just shook his head again.

"Oh well," Burt sighed, "I guess a lot of girls do dancing. You'll have the ladies all over you in no time." He smiled.

Kurt smiled back, but wasn't exactly anticipating having the ladies all over him.

When they arrived home, Kurt took off, running in circles around the yard. He threw his backpack near the front door and continued sprinting while Burt disappeared inside. Kurt didn't notice that his mom wasn't back from work yet. He did notice his dad's tear-stained face as he shuffled out the front door towards him. Kurt dropped the ball he was bouncing.

"Daddy? What's wrong? You're crying?"

Burt kneeled down, trembling, "Kurt… I… I need to tell you something."

After the funeral, nothing really bothered Kurt. Any slight inconveniences like kids pushing him down on the playground or spilling something on his shirt didn't really register. He just accepted it and moved along with the same dull expression. About a week later, after school, his father took a different route than usual.

"Hey, Kurt." Burt called out into the vehicle.

Kurt sat silently.

"I picked up a new shift at work, so from now on, after school, you're going to have to wait at the daycare until I get off, okay?" Burt asked.

Kurt didn't respond.

He pulled up to the daycare and reached one hand back to touch the boy's knee, "Hey."

Kurt raised his gaze slowly to meet his father's.

"You gonna be okay here? I can just skip work and we can go home if you want."

The thought of making his dad skip work made Kurt feel guilty, "I'll be okay."

Burt offered a smile, and then got out of the car to head to the building with Kurt following closely behind. Once inside, a woman greeted his father and they talked for a little bit until Burt finally kneeled down to address Kurt.

"Alright, Kurt, I gotta go now." Burt hugged him.

"I love you dad."

"I love you, too." He stood and left the building, leaving Kurt with one of the caretakers.

"Hello Kurt. My name is Candy. If you'll follow me, I'll take you to our Big Kid room." Said the plump and overly smiley woman. She walked down the hallway and led Kurt to a door at the very end. She opened it and gestured for him to enter. Reluctantly, Kurt moseyed through the doorway and looked around. The room was filled with noisy, rowdy children. Candy shut the door and left him there by himself. Kurt felt like the odd man out. All of the other children were running around and having a good time while Kurt just stood there solemnly. Why were they all so happy? What was there to be so happy about? Kurt stood his ground, not wanting to brave the waters of the ocean of children. All of a sudden, they all became even noisier and started to run towards a door on the other side of the room. Everyone was leaving. He didn't know what to do. Should he ask? Someone patting his shoulder startled Kurt. He quickly turned to see a shorter, dark-haired boy with big hazel eyes and an even bigger smile.

"Hi! My name's Blaine! What's yours?"