A/N: So I should probably have posted this as a ST:XI and ST:TOS crossover. But. I didn't really feel like it. And it will be set in the ST:XI universe after the second chapter, so...
By the way, I don't really own this. At all. I have a Spock action figure, and a Kirk action figure, and nothing else. Don't sue, just review. (Makes puppy-eyes)
Revelations
Inside the Nexus
"…"
"James Tiberius Kirk."
"Hmm?"
"It is you, isn't it? The captain, the admiral, the hero of the galaxy?"
"Just Jim right now, actually….Who are you?"
"People call me Guinan."
"…"
"…"
"How much do you know about this place?"
"How much do you need to know?"
"…Must you speak in riddles?"
"Must you ask such an idiotic question?"
"What?! It wasn't idiotic!"
"I'll speak the way I want. Now, what do you want to know?"
"Fine. Fine, I'll play by your rules. My first question is 'Why am I still in this goddamned thing?!'"
"The Nexus?"
"Yeah, whatever. He, the future captain – John Luke whoever – Picard – helped get me out. I was out. And then…"
"Jean-Luc told you about the Nexus, and you left it, and then you died."
"I did. I remember it…I remember dying. The pain and the blackness and that horrible, horrible moment when…."
"When you what?"
"Nothing."
"If it were nothing, you would not mind talking about it."
"Well, it wasn't nothing, but I'm not going to talk about it."
"…"
"Fine, goddamn you. That horrible, horrible moment when I realized that Spock was alive and in that universe and he was my Spock and not a crazy one with a beard and then I realized that I was dying, dead, and…Goddamn…It was…Ugh, this is so -"
"Do not say embarrassing. It is not a sign of weakness to cry."
"…Give me a moment."
"Of course. We have, after all, all the time in the universes."
"…"
"Do you mind if I ask you a question, Admiral?"
"Go ahead. And it's Jim."
"When you say 'Spock', you mean your first officer? The half-Vulcan? The current ambassador to Romulus?"
"That's who I mean."
"So you two were…?"
"The Vulcan term is t'hy'la. Friend, brother, lover. We shared a mental bond, among other things."
"Oh."
"Please don't tell me you're homophobic."
"I'm not. It's just – it makes so much sense that I don't understand how I never thought of it before."
"So…he's on Romulus?"
"I think. It would take too long to explain."
"What happened to all the time in the universes?"
"Do you want me to answer your original question?"
"Yes."
"Then don't ask questions like that."
"…Fine. But…how long has it been since we started talking?"
"Seconds. Eons. The time it takes for a galaxy to be born and the time it takes for a star to burn to dust."
"That's very poetic."
"The point is that time is fluid within the Nexus and the Nexus is fluid within time."
"Huh?"
"Weren't you supposed to be intelligent?"
"Only if you make sense."
"All right, I'll try again. I think the fact that time really has no meaning inside the Nexus is simple. The other part of that is that the Nexus itself disregards the concept of time in the 'real' world. It can travel through time, space, and dimensions. It can be tracked in one galaxy, and exist in another one at the exact same time. It can cross the borders between alternate realities. There is only one of it, but it can be in millions of different places at the same time."
"Okay. But why am I still here if I'm dead?"
"For the same reason that I am currently serving drinks on the Enterprise-D. The Nexus keeps a bit of our essence, or soul, or whatever you call it -"
"Katra. It's a Vulcan term."
"The Nexus keeps a bit of our katra, so even if we leave it physically, and die physically, we are still in it. You are dead. And you are still here. At the same time."
"So I could leave it again if I wanted to?"
"Technically, yes. But why would you want to? The Nexus can give you anything you desire, and if you were to make it back to the real world, you wouldn't have a body to inhabit. You would be a ghost."
"The Nexus can't give me my bond with Spock – I don't know why. It can give me a Spock, just like it can give me an Annette. But it can't make that bond."
"Is that so?"
"Yup."
"…There might be a way for you to get out."
"Really?"
"If there is a body – in any universe – that is suitable for inhabitation, you could enter it."
"Suitable?"
"Empty."
"As in…?"
"Comatose, perhaps. Brain dead. And it would have to be your body, or at least the body of another you."
"Ah."
"You're going to try it, aren't you?"
"Of course I am. Thanks for your help, Guinan."
