This is my first Toy Story fanfic, so be nice. Anyway, this is inspired by a fanart piece on deviantART.
I do not own Toy Story. It belongs to Disney and PIXAR
Oh, and this takes place about a year before Toy Story 3.
"Buzz, do you have any nines?"
The toys were bored. So bored they had to make ways to entertain themselves each time Andy leaves the room. Andy has not played with them for six years now.
"Go fish." Buzz replied.
They heard a door close and footsteps.
"Andy." Woody nodded and smiled. He and hiss friends all clambered back into the toy chest.
"Andy, Molly and I are going to see a movie tonight. Wanna come with?" They heard Andy's mom say.
"No thanks, Mom." Andy called out the door. "I have a date tonight, remember?"
"Oh, that's right."
"Oooooh, can I come?" Molly giggled.
"No, Molly!"
"Any and Allison sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" They heard Molly squealing with laughter as Andy chased her to her room.
"Well, what do you know?" Woody said quietly. "Our Andy: in love." He chuckled.
"Gosh, he's really growing up." Buzz smiled.
XXX
One hour after Andy left for his date, the toys heard footsteps again.
"Back already?" Rex asked, surprised,.
"Ehhh. He blew it." Potato Head guessed. They scrambled back into the toy box.
A few minutes later, they heard giggling.
"Oh my God, I love your room." Allison gushed.
"Thanks!" Any said. He smiled."So, uh...what do you wanna do now?"
"Well..." Allison smiled broadly at him in a seductive way. "When will your mom and sister be back?"
"In about an hour or two." Andy replied. "Why?"
"Oh...no reason." Allison started unbuttoning her jacket. "It's just that it's getting kind of hot in here."
Andy suddenly got what she was thinking and summoned up his attitude. "Wanna...heh...you wanna play?"
Rex gasped quietly. "Did you hear him say 'play'?"
Woody's heart leapt. He pressed his ear to the opening of the trunk to hear better. 'Could it be?' He thought. 'Andy's finally gonna play with us?'
"You got any toys?" Allison asked seductively.
Jessie gasped quietly with excitement and pumped her fist excitedly.
Andy sighed sadly. "Sadly, I don't. We'll make use of what we do have...if you know what In mean."
Allison giggled again. Woody's face fell and his heart sank. 'No toys? What are we- chopped liver?'
Andy started kissing his girlfriend, who threw her arms around him. Andy hoisted her legs up, which made her squeal excitedly, and carried her to his bed.
"What's goin' on?" Whispered Slink.
As if on cue, they heard moaning and squealing. Allison was giggling and panting.
"Ohhhhh...ohhhh! Harder, Andy, harder!" Allison demand3ed. "Ooooohhhhh..."
"Oh, work it, Allison." Andy said. "Mmmmm...oh, yeah."
"What is going on up there?" Buzz echoed Slink's question.
"Only one way to find out." Woody slowly and quietly lifted the lid to the trunk. The toys peeked through, and their eyes widened in shock and horror.
"MERCIFUL-"
Woody jumped in panic and tackled Rex to the ground and held his mouth shut.
"What was that?" Asked Allison.
Andy got up from his bed and looked at his trunk. "I'm not sure..." He walked over to the trunk, opened it, and looked inside. There lay all of his toys, inanimate. He sighed and stood up. "Probably came from outside." He shut the lid.
XXX
A half hour later, Andy and Allison got dressed, much to the toys' relief.
"You know, Davis..." Allison started to say. "You're pretty good at this. We should...do it again sometime, yes?"
'Please say 'no', please say 'no', please say 'no'.' Woody begged silently.
"Absolutely!" Andy said excitedly.
'DAMMIT!' Woody groaned inwardly.
After Woody and Allison left, the toys came to life.
"Okay...I am officially scarred for life." Mr. Potato Head proclaimed.
"Darn tootin'." Jessie shook her head. She looked Woody up and down. "Woody, you have some milk on your shirt."
Woody grimaced, wiped some gunk off and cleared his throat. "It ain't milk, Jess."
Jessie's eyes widened. "Oh, gross!"
"Sick!" Slink shook his head in disgust.
"I really hope we won't witness that again!" Mrs. Potato head said.
"His girlfriend's kinda hot, though." Hamm stated.
Buzz gave a low whistle. "Well, that certainly wasn't the most disturbing act of sexual intercourse I ever saw." His eyes widened as he realized what he said. He jumped up and waved his hands in front of him as if to ward off something. "Uh, nonononono, I mean, uh...what I meant was, uh..."
Woody gasped and smiled. "Why, Buzzy! I didn't know you are into pron!"
"What? No! Heavens, no!" Buzz shook his head. He chuckled embarrassed.
"Then why'd you say that this wasn't the most disturbing act of sexual intercourse you ever saw?" Jessie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Uhhhh..." Buzz tried thinking up a good excuse, when Andy walked back in the room, and flopped on his bed. The toys then decided to call it a night.
Jessie crawled over to Buzz and tapped him on the shoulder. "Psst. Hey, Lightuyear. Our conversation ain't over." She crawled back to her sleeping space.
Buzz closed his eyes and groaned in dread. 'Great. How am I gonna talk my way out of this one?'
HAHAHAHAHA! Okay...for those of you who are wondering how Woody got the "milk" on his shirt...I'll leave to your imagination.
