Rachel is sitting on the couch playing with their now one year old son, Ricky, when Kurt bursts through the door. He rushed towards Rachel holding a small stack of papers.
"Santana isn't home yet, right?"
Rachel smiled. "Hello to you too." She turned towards Ricky. "Say 'hello rude uncle Kurt.' "
Ricky just smiled and she turned back over to Kurt. "No. She's out picking up some diapers but she should be back any minute now."
Kurt handed Rachel over the stack of papers. "Good. I want to play a prank on her. That is the script I put together. What I need you to do is when Santana gets home, excuse yourself and go into another room. Then call the house and ask to speak to her and say you're from the lab and you have her test results."
Kurt starts snickering as Rachel reads over the script. She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "This is awful. You know she's been having trouble conceiving and you want to pull something like this?"
Kurt frowned. "Come on! It's funny! You'll have another baby. This is just a little joke."
Rachel smirked at him. "Should I put on an accent too? Then it's harder to tell it's me."
Kurt clapped his hands. "Yes! Do that!" Then they heard a rustling at the door. Kurt moved over to sit next to Rachel. "She's here. Act natural."
Santana entered the apartment and smiled. "Hey" She walked over and kissed Ricky on the forehead and then kissed Rachel. "What's that?" She gestured over to the papers.
Rachel handed her the stack. "Nothing. Kurt wanted me to help play some stupid prank on you."
Kurt stood up throwing his hands in the air. "Rachel?!"
Santana read over the script. "Test results from the lab?" She kept reading and started laughing. "Wow, I would have been devastated." She threw the papers over to Kurt. "Anyway, I promised my little man a bubble bath before we go out tonight."
Santana reached over to pick up Ricky and left to the bathroom.
Kurt looked at Rachel. "Why didn't you do it? Santana is always playing jokes on me. This was my chance to get her back."
Rachel tilted her head. "Just let it go. First, it was mean and second, you're not a prankster. You're a victim."
Kurt frowned. "Whatever. I'm going home to change. Meet you guys at the bar."
Kurt left and Rachel went into the bedroom to get dressed and wait for their babysitter.
At the karaoke bar Kurt and his boyfriend, James, are watching Rachel and Santana perform "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Jefferson Starship. When they are done everyone applauds and then they take their seats next to James and Kurt.
James smiled widely at them. "You two were amazing!"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't stroke their egos. They were okay."
A waitress came by to collect their empty glasses when she stopped and looked at Rachel. "You were so good."
Santana narrowed her eyes as she looked the waitress up and down. Rachel gave the waitress a huge grin. "Thank you so much!"
She smiled back. "You're welcome. I've seen all your shows too. I'm a big fan. My name is Tracy."
Santana leaned back with her arms crossed and continued to stare down Tracy. Rachel just kept on smiling. "Always a pleasure meeting a fan. I can't do what I do without you guys. The fans are the real stars."
Kurt and Santana both rolled their eyes because they know how much Rachel loves giving people that load of crap phrase.
Tracy finished collecting the glasses and placed them on her tray. "I'll bring you another cosmo, on the house." She winked at Rachel and walked away.
Rachel turned to Santana. "She was so nice!"
Santana pursed her lips and nodded.
Kurt grabbed his boyfriends hand. "Come on. Lets show this place what a real duet is."
Kurt dragged James towards the stage as Tracy came back with the drink for Rachel. She left as Santana continued staring her down.
The next afternoon Santana is at the park with Ricky so Rachel , James and Kurt are hanging out at the apartment. Rachel is on the couch watching tv, Kurt is playing with his phone and James is messing with Rachel's laptop trying to find movie times for tonight.
James sucks his teeth. "There is seriously nothing but crap playing." Then he heard a ding come from the laptop. "Hey Rachel, you have an email."
Rachel looked over to him. "Who's it from?"
"Cutiepie82."
Rachel and Kurt got up off the couch to get closer to the laptop. "I don't recognize that name. Open it up."
James opened the email and began reading. "I hope this is the right Rachel Lopez. Did you sing at the karaoke bar last night? I'm there almost every night and you were amazing. I just wanted to let you know."
Rachel smiled. "Ooh, fan mail!"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "How in the hell did you get fan mail?"
Rachel smiled. "I'm already a well-known actress in this city. Getting the pleasure to hear me sing at the bar is like a free show and the people dig it."
Kurt rolled his eyes and then grabbed Rachel's shoulder. "Hey I wonder if it was that waitress. She seemed really impressed by you."
Kurt then made his way into the kitchen to grab a drink.
Rachel nodded. "Hmmm. It could be. Santana swore she was flirting with me but I didn't believe her. Now I wonder."
Then they all heard the laptop ding again. The 3 of them huddled around the computer.
Rachel got excited. "Ooh look I got another email from Cutiepie82."
She opened the email and started reading. "I have to tell the truth. It's not just that I'm a fan of your singing and acting. I think you're really sexy. Thanks for wearing such a short skirt last night. It really made my day."
Rachel sat back. "Wow. That's very to the point."
Kurt tapped Rachel's shoulder and smiled. "She closed with a semicolon and parentheses. She's winking at you."
Then Santana came home with Ricky. She looked at everyone confused. "What are you all still doing here? I thought you were going to the movies."
They all looked uncomfortable and Rachel slammed the laptop lid down.
Kurt hurried towards the door holding James' hand. "Yeah we were just on our way."
Rachel grabbed her laptop and rushed towards the door kissing both Ricky and Santana.
Santana looked at her. "Why are you taking your laptop to the movies?"
Rachel looked at her wide-eyed. "Um…so I can write about it in my blog. Duh."
Then Rachel left while Santana looked a little confused.
A few days later Rachel is sitting in the kitchen with her laptop while Kurt is leaning against the counter.
He rolled his eyes. "Will you put your laptop away already? Maybe CutiePie lost interest."
Rachel kept staring at the screen. "She hasn't emailed in days. I don't get it."
Kurt shrugged. "Maybe she doesn't have the time."
Rachel rolled her eyes and looked at him. "When you're a stalker you make the time." She looked back at the screen. "I just don't get it. One day she's sending me a list of our children's names and the next nothing."
Then there was a ding on the computer and Rachel looked excited. "Back in business!"
She opened her inbox. "Ugh. It's from my dad. 'Ten Best Lesbian Pick-up Lines'…Delete!"
Kurt leaned in closer to her. "Take it easy. What are you getting so worked up about this for?"
Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it just made me feel good to know there is someone out there totally obsessed with me."
Kurt shrugged. "Well maybe she needs more inspiration. Think about it. You sang one song at the bar a week ago and haven't been back there since."
Later that night all of them went back to the karaoke bar. Rachel and Santana are on stage singing another duet. Rachel keeps turning towards the audience putting on a sexy smirk, hoping her stalker is out there watching.
Back at the apartment Ricky is fast asleep. They pay their babysitter and say goodnight to her.
Santana cuddles up next to Rachel. "I had so much fun. I love singing with you, baby."
Rachel kissed her then pulled back. "Me too."
Santana said she was going to take a quick shower and Rachel said she'd come to bed in a minute. When Santana was gone Rachel walked over and opened her laptop to check if she's got any emails.
Rachel looked at her screen. "Still nothing? What even?"
Then Santana came back into the room and Rachel stood up. "Hey babe I was thinking... Instead of taking a quick shower why don't you join me and we can make it a long one?"
Rachel smirked at her. "Now that's got to be the best idea I've heard all-" She was cut off by a ding coming from her laptop. She looked at the screen then back at Santana. "Day! Best idea I've heard all day. Lets lather up!"
Santana tilted her head and moved closer. "Who is CutiePie82?"
tbc
