Human Sexuality

By Yagami Iori

A/N: [OH NO IT'S A Y-A-O-I WARNING!] I came up with this while I sat in Health class. Basically, it's just a humorish piece I wrote to calm my angsty muses. I figured I'd put poor Zell in a difficult situation. Please give feedback! ^_^

"The female anatomy is relatively complicated, as there are many facets of the reproductive system..."

Zell sunk down in his chair as Rinoa droned on. Human Sexuality class was the most popular in the GARDEN, (and the only thing Rinoa was capable of teaching,) but Zell found it less than interesting. Moreover, the large full-color slides of the fallopian tube Rinoa was flashing on the Study Panels were making him violently ill.

"Now, we will move on to the uterus..." Rinoa smiled brightly. Zell brought his hands to his face as the cross-sections appeared. He didn't want to touch the OUTSIDE of a woman, much less the inside. After a few minutes of hiding his face, Zell realized that the room was now in silence. Looking up, he saw Rinoa staring at him intently.

"Yes?" he retorted.

"What is the answer to my question, Mr. Dincht?" Rinoa asked.

"Twelve?" Zell inquired.

"I'm afraid not, Zelly. See me after class! The answer is vulva." Rinoa turned back to the blackboard and wrote VULVA in big chalk letters. "Now, let's continue our lesson."

Class proceeded as it had before Zell's humiliation, and when it was finished he approached Rinoa's desk. "Now Rin, you know-"

"That's Instructor Heartilly."

"Instructor Heartilly, you know that this is not my best class. Can we just leave well enough alone?"

"Zelly-pants, you're failing my class! Now, female anatomy is not so difficult-"

"It is if you have no experience with women and wish never to have any!" Zell blushed when he realized what he had just admitted.

"Zell! What about the library girl?!" Rinoa asked, shocked.

"I don't even know her name! Neither do you!" Zell cried.

"Well, I guess that's true," Rinoa replied. "Wow. You're gay. It's not like the Fire Cavern froze over or something. We've all been guessing."

Zell's face contorted in embarassment. "Whaddaya mean, guessing?!"

"Well, you do stare at my Squally-poo an awful lot!" she giggled.

Zell couldn't take any more of the young Sorceress, who was adjusting the Griever ring around her neck. He quickly turned from the classroom and walked into the expansive hallway. He stopped and glanced back at the 'Instructor'. "Oh, and Rin, you're wrong."

"About what?"

"About Squall. You have awful taste in men."

And laughing to himself, he went to go tackle-glomp Seifer.

~OWARI~