This is my first voyager fic! This has to be my favourite ship tho... TPTB WHAT HAPPENED? :'(
Anyway. Enjoy.
Resolutions
"This has been the best time of my life," though Chakotay as he began to pack up their temporary home. Chakotay was quite willing to admit to himself now – he was deeply in love with Kathryn now, if he wasn't before, and there was no way out. Yet, being her subordinate? Somehow, he knew it wasn't possible to preserve this precious relationship once they were back on board Voyager.
"Kathryn,"
"Yes, Chakotay?"
"Before we go back up there, I just wanted to let you know that... I'll miss this"
"Miss what?"
"This," he gestured to their home. "Our home, our life here. It was... an eye-opener"
"I agree" Kathryn's face broke out into a smile as she remembered the time they had spent together. They had shared stories, laughed, taken long walks out to the waterfall, and just so many other things. It was hard to believe they'd only been here a few weeks. But when she thought of the shelter, or their house as she had started to call it, a cloud of guilt enveloped her. He had done everything in his power to make their stay more comfortable, and all she had done was push it all away and deliberately avoided using it. In a way, she had probably made him uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry" she suddenly said
"Sorry? What for?" Chakotay asked
"I pushed away everything you did for us here. I made it uncomfortable for you to be around me... and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Believe me... I wish I'd spent more time with you here – I'm" –
"Kathryn... No. You don't have to be sorry. I know you had to do that research – we didn't know Tuvok was coming back for us"
"I know, but even after the traps had been destroyed? I still thought of every excuse to be out of your way, and I really shouldn't have"
"It's alright, Kathryn. It's in the past now"
"I'm just wondering what might have happened if..."
"Don't" Chakotay abruptly stopped her – desperately not wanting to go down the paths of 'what if's', especially not with her.
"I want to... I mean... what if we'd spent all day every day together"
"Then we'd have become even closer friends"
"What if I'd let you continue that neck massage?"
"Then you wouldn't have such a sore neck anymore" He was desperately trying to avoid what she wanted to hear, and what he most wanted to say.
"What if your angry warrior legend was true?"
"It was Kathryn... it was"
"What if you never knew the other side of the story?"
"Other side?"
"Yes. Once, there was a woman warrior. She had been brought up by the same people her whole life, and they had strict rules about what she could and couldn't do. One day, these people sent her and her tribe to capture the angry warrior, but instead, they got trapped together far away from both their homes. The woman warrior's tribe was too weak to defend itself, so she asked the angry warrior's to join hers. He accepted, and through this, she began to know the true meaning of peace... and also learnt what a few things felt like"
"A few things?"
"That's the only part you picked up on?" exclaimed Kathryn
"A few things?" He was insistent.
"Yes. What it felt to have a true friend, to deeply trust someone, to surrender control..."
"You're hardly surrendering control – you're still the captain"
"I'm talking more generally..."
"You mean personally?"
"Uhh"
"This sounds a lot like..." Chakotay was struck speechless.
"Chakotay?"
"This might be a long shot. But do you... love me?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
Chakotay's open mouth and stunned expression was the only answer that Kathryn needed.
"But... why didn't you tell me this before? We could have made a life for ourselves here! But now it's too late! Now Tuvok's arrived and we have to go back to what it was before! I can't believe you sometimes. The only time we get off the ship, you refuse to let anything develop, the you expect me to just go back!" Chakotay was livid at this point.
"Please, calm down" Kathryn begged
"CALM DOWN? YOU JUST TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME!"
"I never actually..."
"You practically did. You didn't disagree. How long?"
"It's been creeping up on me, but I realised it as soon as our commbadges started to buzz, and the only thought I had was... well, it was all I could do not to shout at them and fling them in a river somewhere"
"I wish you had"
"Chakotay. You really do mean the world to me, you know that?"
"I feel the same way"
"Can you do one thing for me?"
"I would do anything, yes ANYTHING, for you, Kathryn"
"Promise me, you'll wait for me"
"Wait?"
"Yes... if you truly do love me-"
"More than life itself"
"Don't go swanning off with some other girl. I can't let anything happen between us until we get home"
"I would wait forever and a day for you"
Kathryn reached her hand up to cup his cheek. "Thank you"
"Just remember this place. This was our home, our paradise"
"And it would have been, if I'd let it"
"Stop being guilty. Spending this much time with you is something I'd never wished for in my wildest dreams"
"Oh Chakotay" By now she had tears streaming down her cheeks. He leant in and kissed the tears away, allowing himself to savour the taste of her skin. When he was done, he began to pull away, but Kathryn pulled him back for a proper kiss.
It was a magical kiss. The sparks that flew between them were so strong, it shocked them both at first, but they soon surrendered to their charms. It was a kiss of trust, a kiss of promises and the hope of a future. When the parted, they were both panting for breath, both had eyelids half closed for passion, and Kathryn had more tears silently streaking down her cheek.
"I'm so sorry" she repeated over and over again
"Don't be... I love you"
"I love you too"
"One day we'll be together, I promise"
"One day" she echoed.
He pulled her close to his chest and folded her in his strong arms. They stood like this for what seemed like hours, until Tuvok's voice interrupted them on the badges again.
"Captain? Commander? Are you ready yet?"
Kathryn fixed her hair and wiped her cheeks dry, and with one final look at Chakotay, standing in front of their home, gave the dreaded command.
"Two to beam up"
