When Bella Swan made a choice to seek revenge and justice for a tragedy that occurred in her life, she knew of the consequences that it will bring, she knew that she may have to pay it with her life – it's a risk she is willing take. But along the way, she meets Edward – now love is thrown into the equation. Would she take a chance on love and let Edward in or is the consequences of her choices too great and their love is never meant to be.
This is my first fanfiction story, hope you enjoy. Please review as it will encourage me to continue.
Preface
I've never given much thought to how I would die – though I'd had reason enough in the last few months, but even if I had I would not have imagined it like this.
I would never have imagined it will end with my betrayal. My choice.…and the consequences of my choices have led me here.
Choices – we are constantly bombarded with it every single day of our lives, and with these choices there are always a loss and gain equation attached. Through our actions or inactions consequences are inevitable. It can be as simple as skipping breakfast in order to get to school or work on time, but at a cost of enduring hunger pains until lunchtime. Or being unfulfilled or unsatisfied at your current job, but still remain there as it is safe – it pays the bills, but never risking it to follow your passion, your dreams, never knowing what if. It can be as complex as risking your life in order to save the life of a stranger. Working long hours so you can provide for your family, but missing out on precious moments or milestones. These choices and consequences can be significant or insignificant, measureable or unmeasureable, conscious or unconscious. Sometimes it is obvious, other times we don't take notice, but it is there. We are all faced with different choices with different factors and leading to different consequences. But at the end of it all, in the face of death we are all presented with same question, the important question – are there any regrets? Would you do things differently?
Well here I am, in the face of death and I can't bring myself to regret the choices I've made. Despite knowing the mess I would leave behind. Given the chance again, I know that I would still make the same choices. This realization only serves to intensify my guilt – that doesn't change. I can handle my death – in a way I've prepared myself for it. Subconsciously I knew this was a possible outcome. Still I took the risk – justice and revenge blind sighted me of anything else including my safety. But what I wasn't prepared for was Edward. I never expected to fall in love. Nor did I expect to betray that love. Why does fate have to be so cruel as to complicate and intertwine my choices, consequences and love so immensely? Their existence is a result of one another.
I never have believed in true love – soul mates, until now. Though my actions and choices have led me to my death, it also led me to Edward – to my soul mate – I believe this with every fiber in my body. The love I've shared with Edward is so far beyond any of my expectations. I am at least very grateful that life have let me experience this love. This is what I am grieving for, not my death.
I close my eyes – an automatic response to the sensory overload I'm feeling at this moment. At this moment I didn't care about the physical pain my body is experiencing. At this moment I didn't care that my breathing has become more erratic and difficult. At this moment I didn't care about the stinging sensation my eyes are experiencing. The only thing that I'm acutely aware of is my emotion – my guilt. I can feel it coursing through my body, completely consuming me. Just thinking about my betrayal - instantly my heart becomes heavy. Tears begin to slide down my cheeks.
I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please understand.
"I love you….I love you Edward." I can faintly hear myself utter those words. My voice sounded raspy and final.
But what surprise me is how disconnected my voice sounded from my body. It strangely sounded foreign to me.
I started to feel lighter, can feel myself drifting off. The noises around me begin to fade. I now notice I can't feel any pain my body was experiencing moments ago – my body now feels numb. I twist my head trying to focus on the fire in front of me. But even that too becomes blurry – it too begins to fade.
Again a strong sense of disconnection overcomes me. No longer aware of my surroundings or my body, I feel myself drifting away.
It now feels like I'm falling …falling into darkness….
