PREFACE

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason ... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

MADNESS

My life is just flashes of color, sounds, dreams

A roadside artist painting,
washing the canvas in warm liquid brown
She said she loved the color brown

The tinkling sound of the lullaby I wrote
coming from the piano that I hardly sense as I play
Listening to it made tears appear in her eyes

Walking by the side of the road, and suddenly the scenery changes
it is our meadow, I stumble and fall
how she was enchanted when she saw my skin glitter

The scent of freesia, constantly floating in the air
I open my mouth and lick the taste
The actual flower in the garden smells dull and artificial

Curled up in a ball, but don't notice where I am
I simply see her window beyond the darkness
where she turns and smiles at me, my angel, my heaven

Turn on the radio, and no matter the song
I always hear Claire de Lune, by Debussy
the favorite we had in common

Every passerby, every acquantaince I see
their faces blur before my sight
and her warm chocolate eyes look out at me

Her voice, more and more often
whispering to me, calling my name
saying, "I love you."

When it happens I cry out, begging for her to stay
I fall to my knees yet cannot pass out
People stare, they think I'm mad

Yes, I'm mad, I scream
I see my face in their minds
sunken, deep black pits that are eyes

And this is my life, my eternity
Yet I will go through with it, suffer for her
Look down on me from heaven and know I do it for you

Do you remember me, as I remember you?