Hello! I'd like to add that this fic was originally a one-shot, but was changed to a series due to the good response that it was given. The fic is now being checked over, and it originally was K+, but is now T due to swearing (that was censored) and other things (such as nudity). This message will go away when it's finished.

This is Ichigo's thoughts, directed at Zangetsu, and his hollow, who is called Hichigo in this fic.

I don't own Bleach.


Hichigo was bored. As per usual. He looked over at Zangetsu. He was standing on his pole. As per usual. Hichigo once again wondered why Zangetsu didn't think he was emo.

Then Hichigo got an idea.

Probably the best idea he ever had.

"Hey, ZanZan!" He shouted next to Zangetsu.

"WHAT?"

"I want you take a look at something!" the hollow said excitedly.

"No, go away." Zangetsu said, annoyed.

"Aww, why not?" Hichigo pouted.

"Because, if you're involved, there's always trouble."

"But it's not like you're doing anything else, but look emo."

Zangetsu sighed. "Why does everybody think I'm emo?"

Because, you hardly show any emotion, you have that black cape of yours, YOU'RE DEPRESSING, and you randomly stand on that pole and do nothing. Ichigo thought.

"Ha!" Hichigo exclaimed. "King agrees with me!"

That's a first.

"What is?"

Agreeing with you.

"Because, you're always angry with a frown on your face!"

And you're an insane person.

"… That's mean, King." Hichigo whined. "ZanZan, King insulted me!"

"And you deserved it." Zangetsu snapped.

Anyway, Zangetsu, just see what it is. Ichigo thought. Knowing him, he'll go on over about it until you actually look at it.

"…Fine." Zangetsu finally said.

When Zangetsu stepped off his pole, Hichigo's face turned into that trademark grin of his.

"This is what you were annoying me about?" Zangetsu gestured towards the picture.

"Yesssss!" Hichigo said.

What is it? Ichigo asked with an annoyed tone.

"It's a badly drawn picture of him as a stick figure destroying my pole and taking over your body." Zangetsu replied. "…With lots of blood."

Should have guessed. Ichigo thought.

"I'm going back to my pole," Zangetsu said, walking back.

Hichigo then waited for a while after Zangetsu's back was turned, then he hit the sword with the non-sharp bit of his own white Zangetsu.

This caused Zangetsu to fall down, unconscious.

Hichigo! Ichigo exclaimed. What are you going to do to him?

"I'm going to destroy his old man emo pole!" the hollow declared, with his crazy look in his eyes.

Can I join in too? Ichigo asked.

"… If you take back what you said before!" Hichigo declared.

About how insane you are?

"Yep,"

Okay. Ichigo sighed. … I'm sorry for calling you insane.

"And?

I'll never call you it again, and I'm thankful for you being my horse.

"…Fine."

Thanks.

Ichigo then appeared in front of Hichigo, with some rope.

"Let's tie him up!" he said.


When they bound up the poor old man, Ichigo remarked, "This reminds me of the time when we fought Zangetsu and Muramasa."

"I'd never thought that I'll work together with a grumpy person like you," Hichigo said, disgusted with himself.

"I'd never thought that I'll work together with a twisted, freaky person like you." Ichigo said back.

"Take that back!" Hichigo shouted.

"No."

"NOW!"

"No."

"You're being mean again!"

"You started it."

"How?"

"You insulted me first."

"You started to have weird flashbacks!"

"Whatever… Just carry him over to his pole."

"Why do I have to carry him?"

"Because you're the one who knocked him out!" Ichigo then added, "And you're the horse."

Hichigo then thought for a while. "Why do we have to carry his body over there?" He asked.

"So we can see his reaction when he wakes up, and to make sure he doesn't get out of it." Ichigo replied.

Hichigo then realized. "Hey, King. Aren't you meant to be in school right now?"

"Yeah, but this is an once-in-a-lifetime event. I'll be kicking myself right now if I missed it."

The hollow just grinned.


*In the real world*

The nurse just sighed seeing Ichigo's body being brought in unconscious.

"How does he manage to collapse so many times during this year?" She said loud.

Chad just said nothing.


*back to Ichigo's inner world*

When they arrived at the pole, and put Zangetsu down, they wondered how to destroy the pole. Ichigo was saying just to cut it with their swords, but Hichigo thought they should use a more brutal approach.

"Nooooooo!" the hollow screeched.

"Fine… How about we melt it?" Ichigo suggested.

"It'll take too long!" Hichigo whined.

"Freeze it then break it up?"

"Nooooo! Something else! Like a bomb!"

"No! If you and Zangetsu arguing gives me a headache, then what will a bomb do? We could burn it?"

"… Maybe."

"…"

Hichigo then poked Ichigo. "Hey, Kkkiiinnnggg." Hichigo said.

He then kept on poking Ichigo's arm "King!" Hichigo shouted.

"WHAT?"

"Thought of anything yet?"

"No, because SOMEONES POKING MY ARM!"

"Because you were doing what ZanZan normally does when he stands on his old man emo pole," Hichigo whined.

"…"

"How are we going to destroy it, Kiiinnng?"

"… Acid?"

Hichigo's yellow eyes lit up. "Yessss!"

"Errr, but how are we going to get some?" Ichigo asked.

"I don't know!" Hichigo exclaimed. "You're the one who brought it up!"

"Hmm…" Ichigo thought. "I'm going to the outer world to think of something up. You stay here and guard Zangetsu, and don't try to do any funny stuff. Okay?"

Then Ichigo was conscious.

He started to head for the door out of the nurse's office, until he heard the nurse's annoyed voice say, "Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo suddenly turned around and said, "Yes, ma-am?"

"You have been constantly collapsing throughout these last few weeks. And, I hear that you have been skipping class a lot these past few months." The nurse was glaring at him, from across the room. "If I EVER catch you skipping class, or you come here unconscious again, I WILL report you to the principal, is that clear?"

Ichigo said in a small voice. "Yes ma-am."

He thought, she's almost as scary as that damn bastard Zaraki… and Hichigo, when he's not the usual stupid person he normally is.

Hichigo whined in Ichigo's inner world.

Ichigo went back to class. When he was half listening to the teacher, he thought of how to get the acid. Then he had an idea. He told his inner hollow that he'd get it after school, and this caused a lot of complaints.


When he and Rukia were walking back home, he said, "Rukia, I need to go to the soul society."

Rukia was surprised. "Why do you need to go there?"

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "Well… I've got a problem that has to do with my hollow and zanpukuto, and there's somebody that I need to make something for me."

"Who do you need, and what do you need?" Rukia asked.

"I need someone from Squad 12 to make an acid that only corrodes metal."

Rukia raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why do you need acid?"

"You know how I told you before how Zangetsu stands on his 'old man emo pole'?"

"Yeah…?"

"Well, Hichigo got an idea to destroy his pole, and I suggested acid, and said that I'll also get it."

"…Why are you working together, with your hollow?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Maybe because Zangetsu just looks too depressing just standing on his pole."

Rukia sighed "… Okay, I'll get you to the soul society, and I'll help you with asking."

"Thanks, Rukia."

A few minutes later, they were in the soul society, and were standing in front of the Squad 12 barracks.

Ichigo then followed his short friend towards the barracks.

Someone came out of the barracks and greeted them.

"Please state your names and your business here," he said.

"Kuchiki Rukia from Squad 13, and the Substitute Shinigami, Kurosaki Ichigo. We're come for acid."

He looked at them questionably. "Why do you need acid?"

Ichigo sighed. "It's a long story."

The shinigami frowned. "Did you order it before or?"

"No, we're just come to ask for it." Rukia said.

"What do you need it to do?"

"We need it to destroy a metal pole." Ichigo said.

The shinigami gave him a quizzical look. "Why?"

"I told you, it's a long story."

"We'll need you to speak to the captain," the shinigami said.

"Why do we have to talk to Captain Kurosuchi?" Ichigo asked.

"Right now, we don't have anything that does that,"

"But, can't you just tell you just tell him?" Rukia asked.

"You'll need to explain the situation to him; otherwise he won't make it, because he's just that stubborn." The shinigami then went back into the barracks. "Follow me."

Ichigo and Rukia followed him though the barracks.

"Don't annoy Captain Kurosuchi, Ichigo," Rukia said sternly.

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. "That'll be hard for me, but I'll try,"

"Now, what does these two want to with me?" Kurosuchi asked.

"Um… I need to make a type of acid for me," Ichigo said.

Kurosuchi looked at him. "What type?"

"…One that only destroys metal."

"Now, why would you need that for?"

"Well…" Ichigo took a deep breath. "You see, my zanpukuto tends to stand on a metal pole in my inner world, and my hollow knocked him out and decided to destroy this pole."

"And you agreed to help him?" Kurosuchi broke in.

"… Yes,"

"How did you come to the conclusion to destroy it with acid?"

"Well, the other options didn't work well with Hichigo, and bombs didn't go down well with me,"

"I see…" Kurosuchi then called, "Nemu! Get me what the boy asks for!"

"Yes, sir," Nemu walked off.

Ichigo looked surprised. "You're… giving me it?"

"Yes… But in return you must do something for me…"


Ichigo returned to his inner world, grumbling.

"What happened, King?" Hichigo asked.

"That damn Kurosuchi did a bunch of tests on me in return for that damn acid," Ichigo said.

Hichigo's eyes lit up. "So you got it?"

"Yeah," Ichigo said and showed him the beaker with sky blue liquid in it.

Hichigo looked at it, disappointed.

"Don't make that face," Ichigo snapped. "Is Zangetsu still unconscious?"

"Yeah," Hichigo pointed towards the sword.

"Alright, let's see this works," Ichigo poured the liquid on top of the pole.

As the liquid touched the pole, the metal started to disintegrate.

"IT WORKS! IT WORKS!" Hichigo shouted. "Hahahaha! Die you stupid pole!" He started run around what was left of the pole and he was crackling like mad.

"… You're the stupid one talking to a pole, and reacting this way just because a pole is disintegrating…" Ichigo muttered.

Finally the pole was gone.

"… Awwww," Hichigo whined. "It's gone… That was too quick…"

Zangetsu woke up. The last thing he remembered was being annoyed that Ichigo's hollow dragged him off his pole to make him see that worthless drawing. Then he realized that he was tied up. And Ichigo was also here with his hollow.

"Ichigo," Zangetsu said. "Aren't you meant to be in class?"

The hollow looked over at him and gave him his trademark grin.

"ZanZan!" he shouted excitedly. "You're awake!"

"You insufferable fool! You're the one who knocked me out!" Zangetsu shouted, annoyed again. "Why am I tied up?"

"Well…" Ichigo started. "Zangetsu…"

"We destroyed your pole!" Hichigo shouted, once again excitedly.

"…What…" Zangetsu started. "YOU TWO RETARDS! HOW DID YOU DESTROY MY POLE?"

Hichigo grinned. "With acid."

Zangetsu looked pissed. His face was red with anger. He was trying desperately to get out of the ropes tied around him. Ichigo and his hollow suddenly looked scared.

"I'm gonna get out of here!" and Ichigo disappeared.

"Wait, King!" Hichigo franticly shouted. "You can't leave me here with him!"

You're the one who thought this up! Ichigo thought.

"I'LL GET YOU TOO FOR THIS, ICHIGO!" Zangetsu roared.

What else could I do? Ichigo asked. You know how much I hate you stand that old man emo pole for ages.

"IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO DESTROY IT!" Zangetsu roared again.

Meanwhile, Hichigo was sprinting for his life across Ichigo's inner world, as fast as he possibly could. Then he saw the old man's angry figure up ahead.

"…What the…?" Hichigo said.

The ropes seemed to have broken before Hichigo came back around, and the very pissed old man just looked at Hichigo.

The hollow just gave him one look of terror, then sprinted back the way he came, shouting, "I hate you Ichigo! He's now going to kill me! Save me!"

There was no reply from Ichigo.

"Ichigo, I'm your loyal horse, SAVE ME!"

There was still no reply.

Hichigo then realized that he was actually faster than Zangetsu, and therefore he would have a big advantage over him. He turned around, faced Zangetsu and whipped out his white duplicate sword, ready to fight.

… This was a bad idea.


…A few days later.

Zangetsu was standing on his old man emo pole. As per usual. He managed to reform it again after calming down. Hichigo was bored. As per usual. But he was stuck with Ichigo, locked in the side of one of the buildings, unable to get out. The room had been used before when Hichigo was locked in there for being annoying as usual (Ichigo didn't know about this room), so it was reinforced so even with a sword, he couldn't get out.

Ichigo's body in the real world lay in a hospital, people claiming he was in a coma.

It was a full month before they were allowed out. They both had busies from fighting each other, and they hated each other even more. (No, for whoever is reading this, they did not do any yaoi stuff.)

"I knew it was a bad idea," Rukia told Ichigo when he finally returned back to the real world.

"Shut up," Ichigo muttered.