Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy, but I am an avid lover of the show and the amazing characters. No copyright infringement intended; this is purely fan based and not for profit. Rated M for graphic language, smex, violence, motorcycles, Irishman, Charlie Hunnam's facial hair, Elvis, and adult content. You have been warned.
A/N: I love this show and have been a major fan of Charlie Hunnam's for awhile. This is by far my favorite character of his. I totally am fascinated by the gang mentality and the ideology of a MC. This is pretty much a prequel and I will try to keep things as close to canon as possible. Set during season 1 with flashbacks of how Jax and Tara first met. The timeline will jump back and forth quite a bit. Also, this is my first time writing fanfic. I usually write original fiction, but I couldn't help myself. I just burned through all 3 seasons in two days. My biker dad has been harping on me to watch the show and I finally got to doing it. I was hooked from the first episode.
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Chapter 1: Home
Jackson "Jax" Teller was jaded to say the least. At twenty nine years old with an unexpected kid on the way, he had never felt more out of control in his life. Wendy was a junkie, and he acknowledged this even though he really didn't give enough of a shit to make sure she stayed clean. That all changed when she told him that she was carrying his baby and that she was keeping it. Jax was terrified by the thought. He had just filed for divorce from this woman whose face should have been lost amongst the masses of one night stands and bitches whose names he couldn't remember.
"Fucking Wendy Case," he muttered out loud. He definitely couldn't forget her now, as much as he wanted to. She was going to be attached to him for the rest of his life. They were going to have a kid. The reality of the situation hadn't hit him yet and he had been pointedly avoiding Wendy for the last couple of days. He was sitting in his modest home as he shuffled through some papers on his table, lighting a cigarette and taking a thoughtful drag.
He heard the car screech up and looked out the window. A familiar black firebird had just burned up the driveway. With a dramatic slamming of the car door, his mother emerged looking as intimidating as ever with her teased up hair and stiletto heels.
"Shit," he said and then quickly put out the bud to answer the door. There was no need as his mother all but broke the damn door down to get in. She was huffing and puffing and her lips were set in a stern line. She was wearing her trademark shades, but Jax didn't need to see her eyes to know that Gemma was pissed. Jax thought he would try to diffuse the situation in his normal way: by being cute and charming, flashing his trademark grin and pulling her into a hug. "Mo-om," he crooned, "so I guess you heard the news…"
"Don't you fucking 'Mom' me you little shit!" she roared. Jax winced and sat down on the couch while his mom proceeded to rip him a new one. She whipped off her shades and stared him down with her black eyes.
"Wendy, that junkie crow eating ex-whore of yours, is knocked up with some crank baby that she thinks is yours. I ran into her at the store, and she all but begged me to convince you to take her back. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON , JAX?" she ranted. To Jax it seemed that she said this all in one breath and she was left huffing again like she had just run a marathon.
"I didn't know how to tell you, ma. It was a mistake. I thought I was done with her, but it looks like we'll have to straighten her out," he said somberly.
"Well, I can push her junkie ass down the stairs or she can go to the clinic and scrape that demon bean out."
"Mom, she wants to keep the baby," he muttered, "I already tried to talk-"
"She thinks she can keep it?" Gemma said, and her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "That's it! I'm gonna take a coat hanger to this bitch!"
"MOM! Shit, calm down. There's nothing that we can do. She's gonna go through with this. I don't know what to do. I'm pretty sure she's still using, and she doesn't have anywhere to go. I think I'm gonna let her stay here." He got up and started pacing around, running his hands over his face in an attempt to gain some clarity. Gemma sat down and seemed to have calmed herself somewhat.
"How do we even know if it's yours?" she asked, almost pleading with Jax. He then explained that he was pretty sure it matched up. They had sex almost a month ago in an attempt to rekindle something and he hadn't wrapped it up like he normally did. She was his wife once, afterall. That was a huge mistake. He was still going to get a DNA test to make sure once the bun was done baking. He could see his mom trying to calm down after her little tirade.
"Fine. So we've established that the junkie is keeping the baby…and she'll be staying here. Where are you gonna stay, baby? You two will kill each other if you stay under the same roof," she said. Her voice softened as she held on to her son's hands. As always, Gemma was all about family first, and if this unborn child was potentially Jax's, then she was going to do whatever she could to take care of it.
"I was thinking that I'd stay in my old room at the clubhouse. We need to make sure Wendy is clean and get her set up over here," his mind raced with all the shit that he was going to have to take care of to clean this situation up. As always, his mom was the rock that held everything down.
"Listen, I'll take care of everything, baby. I'll have some of the boys bring her things over here and the prospect can help you move some stuff back to the clubhouse. Next, we'll need to set her up for doctor's appointments, vitamins, and I'll go to the hospital and see if they still have that drug counselor. Maybe he can give us some advice on how to make her stay off this shit, at least until my baby comes out," said Gemma. She mentally ticked off all the things that she had to do, but Jax sensed the energy that was crackling in his mother's eyes. She lived for taking care of others and things had been quiet in the clubhouse. This would give her something to do and she would be able to boss people around like she liked to do.
"I love you Ma. Don't know what I would do without you. I know it's shitty timing too. Opie's about to get out. We need to throw him a big one too," he said. Yet another thing to stress him out, but at least something good would come out of it. His best friend and right hand man Opie was finally getting out of the big house after a five year stint for arson because another club member had flaked out and left him in the getaway car. They were going to plan a major celebration to welcome back the lost member and brother.
"I love you too, baby. Don't worry; I'll take care of everything. And Opie's going to be fine. He gets out in three days, so I'll have everything planned and taken care of," Gemma said, in that motherly tone that she loved to abuse. Jax gave her a hug and walked her to the door.
"Take care…Grandma," he said, a smirk forming on his lips.
"Fuck you, Jackson," she said playfully, though Jax didn't miss the little smile that snuck on her face. She really was excited to add more to her precious family. Just then, Jax received a text on his cell phone. It was from Clay. Heads up, man. Mom's on the prowl. She just ran into your ex. She says she's preggers. She is pissed, lay low!
Good fucking timing, he thought, and he wondered just what the fuck else could happen to shake things up.
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Gemma had just finished running all her errands in less than two hours. She was nothing if not efficient. She had got some of the croweaters to catch Wendy and help start moving some of her things. Half-sac was going to help Jax at his house and clean things up at SAMCRO headquarters. After that, Gemma had power walked her way to the grocery store and had purchased an obscene amount of alcohol, food, and cigarettes in preparation for Opie's coming home celebration. After she had dropped the stuff off at the clubhouse, she headed to St. Thomas Hospital to find Dr. Barnes, the local rehab specialist. She was running a hundred miles a minute per her usual coping method of stress. She was trying to get it out of her head that her beloved son was going to give his gift of life to an undeserving crackwhore.
She had just finished talking with the doctor and left with an armful of pamphlets and informational booklets in hand. Finally, her mind had started to calm down a bit and she found herself wandering the halls, lost in thought. It would be nice for her to have a grandson, she thought. She was reminiscing about when Jax and Thomas were babies and how soft and squishy they were, and how good they smelled. Thomas…she couldn't let herself think of him right now. He was nearly still a baby when he died and it still put a lump in her throat to think of her deceased son.
Subconsciously, she had made her way to the neonatal unit. She paused in front of the viewing window and looked in on the babies. Her heart swelled with love and longing as she looked in on their innocent faces right before it shattered after hearing a familiar voice.
"I'll be prepped and ready to scrub in…give me just a few minutes to finish signing off on this, and I'll be right there," said Dr. Knowles. Her voice was sweet and almost shy, but her bright eyes were unwavering and strong. Gemma had frozen with her back to Tara's as she stole a look at her reflection in the glass. Yup, it was Tara alright. She still had that thick shiny hair, though it was pulled up in a bun. No makeup, as usual, and she was still thin and simply adorned in her doctors scrubs. Gemma bit back a bitchy retort for the angelic looking harpy.
"Dr. Knowles," said the meek looking nurse, "I just wanted to let you know how much we appreciate you here. We are so lucky to have someone of your skill in our little group here."
"Thank you so much. I know I've only been here a week, but I feel good here…safe," she replied, before walking off with the nurse. Gemma exhaled and quickly took note. So she had only been back for a week, maybe there was still time….she remembered how Jax had been with Tara and it scared the hell out of her.
13 years ago
Jax was sixteen and loving life, every bit as arrogant and cocky as he would grow up to be. And he was ridiculously in love. His mother could see it written all over the dopey grin on his face. He was going to bring her to dinner-something he never did with any girl. Gemma was nervous. Every word out of his mouth lately was Tara this and Tara that, when it used to be club this and Sons that. This wasn't just pussy. It was becoming more and more clear how much Jax felt for this Tara girl. She had never seen him act this way. He sat Gemma down and warned-WARNED her to be nice to Tara. Gemma had agreed and went back to cooking dinner for her son and their guest. She would be over in an hour.
The doorbell rang and Gemma popped her head out of the kitchen to watch her son blaze down the stairs to answer the door. She secretly watched him as he straightened his shirt and pulled up his too baggy pants before opening the door. She couldn't see Tara, but she watched Jax's face as he greeted their guest. Ice surrounded her intestines as she saw the look of intense love in her son's eyes. He was still lean and a little uncomfortable in his tall body. He had shorter hair back then and barely any stubble on his handsome face. Boyish, and immature, but when he looked at Tara, he looked…sure…like everything was…complete. "Hey babe," he said, and the smile on his face could have lit up the world. She heard the soft voice of the girl say something in reply and then she stepped in. Clay had lumbered down to greet the guest as well. He smiled and reached out his hand. Tara was still blocked by the barrier of the door, but Gemma took in her slender ivory hand that gently shook her husband's. Gemma finally came out of her hiding place as the boys went into the living room.
"Hi, I'm Gemma, Jax's mother," said Gemma sternly. Her eyes raked in the too skinny form of 16 year old Tara with her dark eyebrows and glittering eyes.
"It's nice to meet you ma'am," she said as she held out her hand. Gemma just stared at her with her lips pursed in distaste.
"Mom!" hissed Jax, and Gemma took Tara's hand and squeezed. Surprise flittered in her deep gray green eyes and a blush started creeping up her lily white neck. But Gemma was surprised that she met her gaze head on and there was a hardness there that she did not know the girl had. She let go and sauntered over to the couch to sit on Clay's lap. Clay just took in the gesture and chuckled as he rubbed his hands down her legs to calm her down somewhat. Jax was pissed and gritting his teeth, having witnessed the aggressive way his mom shook his girlfriend's hand. He sat down next to Tara and quickly took her hand in his own rubbing in a surprisingly gentle way. Tara was biting her lip and it quirked into and small smile. Their eyes met and there was instant electricity, like they were the only two people to have ever existed. Gemma and Clay felt it from across the room and Gemma felt her heart break just a little bit for her baby boy.
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Tara was writhing beneath him, mewing and fisting his hair as he buried his face in between her legs. He licked up and down her slit and pressed his mouth into her pussy as she came hard, bucking into his face. He had a triumphant grin plastered on his face that was red from his work between her legs. His hair was sticking in different directions and his white skin was sporting red marks from Tara's nails. Tara thought he looked beautiful. She was splayed out beneath him breathing heavily. He wrapped himself around her body and ran his fingers through her thick, luscious hair. He stared into her gray-green eyes and pressed his chest to hers. It still didn't feel close enough. Unconsciously, he rubbed his dick on her still slick skin and she bucked up to meet him. He entered her with a groan, panting into the side of Tara's face as he kissed up and down her neck in between thrusts. She was moaning again and it was spurning him on until he felt that familiar pull in his stomach. She started to flutter around him, clamping, CLAMPING, COMIN-
Jax woke up with a start, skin clammy from sweat. He was tangled in the flannel sheets in the clubhouse room that would be his temporary home until Wendy had the kid. Tara…he was dreaming about her again, and the fact that she wasn't there seemed almost cruel-but no! He wouldn't let himself think about her again. It was too much and he started to feel that familiar ache in his heart that was associated with his thoughts of her. He rolled over, still sporting wood from that suggestive and traitorous dream. There was a naked croweater passed out beside him, bare ass in the air. He rubbed against her and she finally woke up with a drunken grin plastered on her face. Her makeup was all smeared and she looked sloppy. Tara never wore makeup and she always-NO-he thought. He wouldn't let himself think of her. He turned the slut onto her stomach and started pounding his dick into her. He couldn't remember the girl's name as she moaned wantonly, couldn't remember a thing about her, even as he fucked her fiercely; and the girl he wanted to forget, wanted so desperately to move on from, he would always remember. He would never forget.
