Author's Note: Inspired by a picture of someone that looked suspiciously like Matt Smith in the most embarrassing suit at the Chelsea Flower Show.

As usual the TARDIS materialised loudly and within mere moments the doors were flung open as the Doctor burst out cheerfully and his companions trailed behind him reluctantly. "The Chelsea Flower Garden!" the Doctor cried out cheerfully.

"Oh, come on!" Rory moaned. "All of time and space and you want to visit something we watch on telly every year?"

"Oh Rory, Rory, Rory," the Doctor said as he shook his head disappointedly, "how could you ask that? With such beauty and art around us you should be asking much more interesting questions."

"Yeah Rory," Amy piped up, "there's more pressing questions to ask, like all of time and space and the suit you chose to wear is that?!"

"What's wrong with my suit?" the Doctor pouted. "I think it's rather nifty. No, not nifty, stylish, and cool, it's very cool."

"No," Rory said, looking constipated, "it is not."

"You have no sense of style," the Doctor sniffed. "Just look at what you are wearing."

Rory ducked down to look at his jeans, flannel shirt, and parka waistcoat, and pair of slightly scuffed up trainers. "I'm wearing what I've always wear!"

"Exactly!" the Doctor clapped his hands. "Nothing formal or nice or special, come on Rory Pond! Do you really want to greet the Queen and Prince Harry and all the other royal people in your – ooh giant jammy dodgers!"

The Doctor, completely distracted by jammy dodgers that were bigger than his head, immediately danced away to the table. His companions shared an exasperated look before they followed.

"Doctor!" Amy said sharply. "Don't you dare eat that jammy dodger, it's only flowers in some stone."

"Don't tell him that!" Rory hissed. "Cracking his teeth on the stone would have taught him a lesson."

"Rory!"

"I wasn't going to put it in my mouth," the Doctor pouted, "I was only admiring it. It's cool, like my suit."

"There is nothing cool about that suit!"

"Yes there is, and I'll prove it to you, I'll ask – Liz!" the Doctor's eyes widened in surprised joy and he then instantly zoomed in on a very familiar, elderly, lady that Rory would recognise anywhere. "Liz will tell you my suit is cool!"

"Oh no," Rory groaned, "We're going to end up being chased by secret protective servicemen, aren't we?"

"Yep," Amy said. "But that's hardly anything new."

As predicted, the Queen's bodyguard protection leaped into action, and tried to restrain the Doctor but as soon as they pinned him to the ground, much to Amy and Rory's surprise, the Queen ordered them to release him and within seconds the Doctor gave her an awkward bow with extra cringe-worthy flourish to it.

"Your Majesty," he kissed her hand, "it's been a long time."

"Yes, and not a single Christmas card," the Queen said, her eyes twinkling, "last We heard from you Doctor was when you crashed the Titanic into Our palace."

"THAT WAS YOU?!"

"Why are you surprised?" Rory asked Amy. "It's always him."

"Oh….right, yeah," Amy said sheepishly, "wait, you managed to destroy only part of the palace, were you having an off day?"

"I have you know!" the Doctor huffed. "That I don't always destroy things."

"Our father, the King, and Winston Churchill," the Queen said dryly, "often thought if they sent you to Germany for a week holiday, the war would end much sooner."

The Doctor scowled at that. "Well I'm not here to destroy anything!" he said firmly.

"We are glad to hear that," the Queen said, "Our grandson had promised Us the most interesting garden. He would be rather put out if it exploded before he got to show it to Us."

"I merely wanted," the Doctor sulked slightly, "to ask your opinion on my new suit, is it not stylish?"

The Queen raised an eyebrow at the suit in question…..it was pale, powder, blue, which would have been fine if slightly comical, decorated with…..pale, pink, tulips.

All over,

The Doctor was wearing a flowery suit…in powder blue.

"It is quite lovely-"

"See!" the Doctor exclaimed triumphantly. "I am stylish and cool!"

"– in fact," the Queen continued as if the Doctor had not spoken, "We once had a dress made out of that exact material back in our early days as Queen."

The Doctor instantly looked greatly put out as Amy and Rory burst out laughing. Much to his annoyance they didn't stop the entire trip back to the TARDIS (not being chased for once though Rory suspected one of the Queen's guard stalked them back), and he sulked the entire time before ripping the suit off and casting it into the deepest depths of the wardrobe with the vow he would never wear it again….

Rory and Amy decided to burn it, just in case he changed his mind.

(And River Song made it her mission to ensure he could never buy another one like it. She liked her sweetie in tweed, thank you very much.)