I don't own Bones

There is a time in everyone's life's that they just want to lay face down in the dirt and let the world kick them in the ribs until their spitting blood. They're just so tired of fighting, of caring, of just breathing. They feel weak, defeated, pathetic, and like a waste. That's where Dr. Temperance Brennan is. It seems to be her time to fall to her knees before the ominous presence called life.

*Brennan's POV*

I know they think I've lost my rationality with the last case and in truth I had. I had drawn parallels between myself and the victim. But I was Dr. Temperance Brennan, my momentary lapse of judgment and emotional confession was over, I couldn't fix the past. That is something I learned young, as soon as something happened, it couldn't be taken back no matter what. You dealt with the consciences of your actions and that was all you could do.

"Sweetie, you've been in Limbo all day. Will you please come to dinner with me," Angela's voice interrupted my thoughts which were far from the skeleton laid out in front of me.

"I'm busy Angela and also I'm not hungry," I replied making my voice sound like it used to, cold and distant.

"Bren, Sweetie, don't be like that and don't use that tone of voice with me."

I sighed in frustration and resignation. She was one of my best friends; she had seen the old Temperance Brennan and had still stuck around. I know she believed that she loved me but I was aware that love was just a chemical reaction in the brain… it was a delusion, a painful, hurtful mirage. I wanted to believe that Angela did love me, that it would save me from the lonely future that I was to lead. I still hadn't turned to face her, I couldn't look at her and see emotions I couldn't feel swirling in her eyes.

"I'm sorry for my tone Ang, but truthfully I am not hungry."

"All right Bren… if that's the way you want it," with that she was gone.

I remember a time when she would have just grabbed a chair and sat in bone storage with me, nagging me, demanding I go with her until I just couldn't take it anymore and I relented. Those days had long since passed giving way to her future with Hodgins and their baby. I grew accustom to the increasing amount of time I spent alone, and turned to bone storage to chase away the outside world. I missed the days of her constant girl talks and the times she'd worry about my safety. When she could spot when I was lying just by looking at me, instead of her believing every lie I told her. My favorite being "I'm fine."

A sudden ringing bounced around the walls of bone storage, making me aware of my surroundings. I was disorientated for only a few seconds before I realized that the ringing was coming from outside the door of bone storage. I quieted my mind so that I could hear what was being said.

"Studly, I don't know where you are or what you're doing but you need to get down here. She's just being so cold…no I don't care that you're with Hannah. Get here now!... yeah, yeah you moved on we have all heard this… She's your best friend and your partner, you used to care… no no never mind it's clear you're not the man I thought you were. Good bye Seeley."

The entire conversation had stopped my heart even though it was scientifically impossible. Booth truly didn't care anymore, and I had to keep telling myself that I was happy for him. He was finally going to get his 40 to 50 years. He'd have his children and his house with a backyard. He'd live the life he always dreamed about and he'd be the best husband and dad he could be to Hannah and their children, they'd be lucky to have him. Booth was happy and even though he didn't value my opinion of feelings anymore I would continue to put a smile on my face and be happy for him. I owed him that much.

I struggled to stay focused on the task at hand; I refused to think about Booth and the fact that he was not my friend, my companion, and the man I could always count on anymore. He'd given up on me admittedly he believed I'd given up on him first but I hadn't. I was confused, scared, and trying to protect him. But my motives no longer mattered because I no longer did. I was back to the woman I was before Booth; at least I wished I could be that woman again, where nothing ever hurt.

I gave up on trying to get any work done and headed to my office. Most of the lights in the lab were off due to the lack of people there. It was just me and the security guards usually but I could see that Angela's office lights were on. Okay, so she still did care about me, but she had a life she now lived that I wasn't a part of… not because she hadn't wanted me there but I found it increasingly hard to be surrounded with the reminder of family when I didn't have a stable one myself.

"Ang, you need to get home. It's not good for you or the baby to be out at this time of night, in your mind frame," I said as I stopped into her office to see her staring at her computer screen.

"I'm going home when you go home, Bren," she said forcefully and emotionally without looking at me.

"Well I was just about to get my coat and call you to tell you I was leaving so I would presume that you'll be going home now, would you like for me to call Hodgins to come get you?"

"Thank God Sweetie! I wasn't sure Jack would actually let me stay but I don't like it when my baby's Aunt Bren is at work all night by herself. It's not right and I just won't stand for it anymore."

"Okay Angela. Let's get you home then shall we," I helped her put on her coat as I spoke.

After stopping quickly at my office we were headed out the doors of the Jeffersonian. Angela wrapped her arms around my waist and tucked herself into me, seemingly seeking something from my person. Her touch didn't bother me as much as everyone else's so I cautiously put my arm around her shoulders and held her loosely. I was telling her in my own awkward way that it was okay to hold onto me. She did just that because as she had told many before this she understood Brennan speak or so they called it. We soon arrived at my car and I helped her in and then went around and started it up.

"Bren, you know I love you right and no Sweetie my love for you is not a chemical reaction of the brain that will fade. You are my sister and you are my best friend and I just want to see a smile grace your lips again… I just love you," She said the last line pitifully as if she already knew I didn't believe her.

"Ang, Love is indeed just chemicals in the brain and you know I don't specifically believe in love but, I find that if I did… I'd love you too. You've always been there for me when you could be and your constant worry for my well-being is nice to count on. If you'll give me a moment to organize my thoughts there is something I think I should tell you."

She simply nodded her head, already taken back by what I had just told her but willing to hear anything else o had left to say. I knew that I was going to be breaking down every wall I had ever built, any hope that I had of getting over Booth with my old ways, and or just going back to normal but for Angela I'd do anything. I turned to face her and I looked into the eyes of my best friend and even though I knew it was logical I thought I could read her thoughts from just looking at her eyes, her heart and mind an open book.

"Angela, I find that there is some force that clutches my heart when I think about you hurt, there is some foreign substance clogging my lungs when I hear you distressed. When I see you happy, for no reason I smile.., even though all these happenings are completely unsupported by any scientific findings…I have come to realize that I do love you, I can't rationalize it or use logic around it. You're like the sister I always asked for and I love you," By the end of this I was crying, and I knew it.

I had looked away from Angela during the exchange but a sob brought my eyes startled to her. She had her hand pressed harshly holding back her sobs and I instantly felt horrible. All I had done was say what she had been asking me to say for years and now she was crying I had done it wrong! I had upset Angela! I rushed out of the car and around to her side of the car and opened the door so I could reach her. She spilled out of the car and I caught her just in time as her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me into a hug that I thought was going to either bring physical pain to me or her. I'd rather it be me.

"Oh Sweetie, I am so proud of you! I love you too. You are amazing Bren, I knew you could do this," Angela gushed as she still clung to my neck and cried into my skin. I held onto her as best I could, letting her cry and being considerably confused as to why.

After she had finished crying, I got her loaded into the car. I soon got her home and then I was headed to my apartment. Tonight's events claimed my thought and I realized that no matter how much I said emotions were irrational and completely without logic I still felt them. I could get swept up in feelings, sensations, and emotions just like everyone else. My past hadn't ruined the soul Booth believed resided in everyone, I still had one. I was human; when I bled I bled red, when I cried it was the same as every other person's tears. I Temperance Brennan was a human being and it would be in my best interest to just except that and all the pain that came with it.

Once I was inside my apartment I lay down on my couch, tired of thinking but knowing the thoughts wouldn't just shut off. I knew I should be getting ready for bed or eating a quick dinner but I just didn't want to move and inch from my couch, the day had been to exhausting. I must have fallen asleep on the couch.

Sometime later I felt as if I was being picked up and carried, the familiarity of the arms holding me soothed any thoughts I had of an attack. But even as the arms familiarity soothed me it wasn't a distinct familiarity, so I pretended to be asleep, waiting to see how this turned out. The man that was carrying me brought me to my room and gently laid me in my bed. He hesitated on what to do with my outer garments but in the end just removed my shoes. As he pulled my blanket up to my neck and laid a kiss on my forehead I caught his scent. Automatically I sucked in a shocked breath and my eyes opened to stare at the man I hadn't seen in over 7 years.

"Tony is that you? What? Why? How," I demanded looking up into his face.

"In the flesh baby and one question at a time. I'm here because you need me, you're not all that hard to find Temperance, and I drove," came his quirky reply and his charm smile as he leaned over me.

"I don't know what that means… and I don't understand," I was completely dumfounded by his presence but as always I found myself calming and relaxing due to his smile.

"Temper, Baby, it's to late to be explaining the past seven years to you. I'll be here in the morning if you don't mind me taking your couch."

"No need to take the couch Tony. You may sleep there if you wish."

"There you are, that's my Temper. I'll see you in the morning."

With that parting remark he was gone and I listened to his shuffling in my living room. He soon ceased his movements and I slowly fell asleep knowing that I was safe and for the first time in a very long time my heart was at peace. Tomorrow DiNozzo and I would talk at I'd get an explaination for the last 7 years of my life. Everything would be okay if not better. I would survive, I always did.