A?N: I was going to do a little separate piece from Nick's view but I think he needed support more than he let on so I added it as a little him and Katie fic. Nick's little rant is a little OOC I've tried to make it as close to him as possible but there was only so much I could do. I just realized Mackenzie in real time would be about six months now so I'm trying to get up to date. Know this is LATE with capital letters but better late than never right?

Still don't own anything except Katie and Mackenzie. Don't even own their last name sadly. Who doesn't want to be married to Nick Stokes?


October 2008

It was a day like any other Nick was due to return from work any minute now unless he worked overtime, Katie was up and dressed with Mackenzie always within arms reach except when she was napping.

Mackenzie had turned six weeks old a few days ago and Katie actually noticed a few times that her daughter was starting to smile and right now it diaper changing time which meant they were on the floor; the change pad in the nursery too far away for now that only got used when it was nap time, bed time or right after a bath. When Katie blew on Mackenzie's stomach like she did after every diaper change her daughter smiled at her and let out a little laugh. Finishing the diaper and pulling up the adorable outfit Mackenzie had on they were at a record of lasting an hour an outfit but she couldn't resist baby outfits were just too cute not to pass up.

Putting Mackenzie in the play pen that held only a blanket at the moment she cleaned up after her their little exchange of a dirty diaper for a new one was when the door opened revealing a distraught husband.

"Nick what's wrong?" she met him at the door wrapping her arms around him the best she could and he returned the embrace hugging her tighter than he usually did. Hearing him sniffle was what did it and she pulled away.

"Nicholas Ross Stokes tell me what's wrong" wiping his tears away with her thumb he looked up from the floor

"Warrick's dead" Katie's hand flew to her mouth her eyes to her husband

"How?" she closed the still open door ushering him to the couch to sit, Mackenzie quiet for the moment having sensed the atmosphere change.

"Undersheriff at point blank range in the head" she held his hand as he explained

"Please tell me you got him"

"After a brief standoff with a gun, I sure did" she let the beginning of the comment slid for now at least they caught him. In her line of work she'd come across the undersheriff once and that was back when she was doing criminal work right around the time Nick and her split.

"I'm not sure what to say" he gripped her hand before letting go

"I'm going to go take a shower" he stood up

"Okay" so many questions raced through her mind but she remained silent, Nick would tell her in his own time. It only took him a few minutes before he was standing under the warm spray.

She was on the phone when he came out, he'd found she laid out his favorite set of pajamas ones that she often slept in on the bed when he'd come out of the shower he was thankful he didn't have to hunt for them and slipped into them easily.

She whispered into the phone and hung up knowing she was talking to Sara getting the details he'd left out.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him softly coming towards him placing a hand on his shoulder and he stopped and turned

"Not sure" he bent down as she wrapped her arms around his neck and for a few minutes just simply hugged her back. Mackenzie started whimpering, Katie dropped her arms

"I'm sorry" she moved to go get her but Nick stopped her with his hand

"Let me do it" the moment he picked Mackenzie up his mood did a one-eighty and for the first time in almost sixteen hours he smiled. Being held in her fathers arms she grabbed onto his face and smiled and laughed. His head turned to Katie whom stood a few feet away.

"She did that for the first time a few minutes before you came home" Katie half smiled watching father and daughter. He didn't seem to notice Katie disappeared and returned moments later with a camera, she snapped a couple before she put a hand over her chest.

"She's hungry" Nick handed her over kissing his daughter on her head before watching Katie breast feed.

"I think I'm gonna head to bed" Katie looked up from Mackenzie and nodded accepting the chaste kiss he gave her and a gentle one to the top of Mackenzie's head.


Bright and early on the day of the funeral Lily, Katie's sister picked up Mackenzie and Nick watched her walk out the door without as much as a fuss as Katie closed the door, dressed ready to go in a basic black dress and hair pulled to the side, makeup done light because she knew she was going to cry and he would bet that her purse contained eyeliner and mascara ready to be re-applied and a handful of tissues.

"Are you ready?" she asked quietly, re-adjusting his cuff links he nodded. She grabbed her purse and lead the way out the door.

The service was something Warrick would have liked it was tasteful, nothing over done and the church was nearly full with friends he'd made over the years.

As Grissom made his way up to the podium Catherine switched from Grissom's arm who was sitting at the end to Nick whom she was sitting beside. Katie held his hand in both of hers throughout service and squeezed his when Catherine nearly broke down, putting his arm around her he pulled her against him and Katie lanced one of her arms through Greg who chosen to sit beside her if anyone had to guess was to keep Grissom and Sara on separate ends of each other. Katie had glanced over to Greg several times during the service and it warmed her heart he had Sara's hand clasped together with his.

Katie had never let go of his hand and for that he was thankful as they stood in line to receive the apologies of such a young man dying so soon. She remained silent throughout most of greetings and when he felt himself about to break down she took his hand in both of hers and squeezed and that gave him a little encouragement to continue on.

Sara and Greg had just excused themselves at the reception hall both knowing Nick was close to loosing it. Still holding his hand with her left she took her right and brought it up to his cheek.

"You okay?" she asked for his ears only, he took a sip of his drink and nodded his eyes remaining on the floor looking at their shoes.

"Nicholas look at me" she said in a tone she reserved in rare occasions when she had to use his full name. When he finally did look at her it nearly broke her heart to see what she saw in his eyes. Fear, Anger, Hurt but she never expected to see Guilt so strongly in his eyes. She let go of his hand and hugged him around the waist hard.

"Promise me you'll do your best never to leave Kenzie and me" her voice full of tears "I don't know what I would do without you" she said into his chest, he hugged her back needing a moment to think of the best answer he could, fate was out of his hands.

"I'll do everything I can never to leave you and Kenzie" he said over her head

"Why do you feel guilty?" her question caught him off guard and his arms stiffened around her

"I-no not here, not now" he said firmly and dropped his arms from around her. She stepped back arms folded across herself, never once looking at him.

"I need to go freshen up" she said coldly he grabbed her arm when she walked by

"Katie"

"Like you said not here, not now" and she tugged free leaving him alone for the first time in seventy-two hours and he missed her already.


Fifteen minutes had passed and he deemed she was more than a little ticked when she hadn't come back.

"Nicholas, this is Tina Brewster and Eli; Warrick's son" Katie said lightly, a small smile on her lips as she played with the now awake baby and spitting image of his father. Katie touched his arm to bring him out of his trance and he looked at Eli.

"May I hold him?" Nick shocked them both out of their conversation they had started while waiting for Nick to answer.

"Of course" Tina shifted Eli to Nick "gives my arms a break. Do you two have kids?" she directed the questions to Katie for Nick had slipped into his own world with Eli.

"We do actually a daughter she just turned six weeks" Katie pulled a picture from her purse to show her new found friend

"And you have your figure back already how did you do it?"

"Big house gets very dusty and carrying around Kenzie gives me the extra weight I need"

--

Katie and Tina had moved to a table a few feet away to talk baby talk while Nick watched Eli and thought it was as good as a time as any to have a talk with him.

"Hey Eli you don't know me and I didn't know about you but if I had been a better friend I guess I would have. Your father just simply faded into the limelight after his suspension. Katie was getting ready to have our baby and Greg was always moping and complaining about Sara" he pointed out Greg and Sara to the little one in his arms and continued "I just thought that if he had anything important to tell me he would. Your father was a great man with a big heart and always willing to take money off my hands. You look just like him"

He hugged Eli close unaware that Katie had come up behind him listening to the conversation.

"I miss him so much and if I had just asked how he was doing then he would have told me and I could have helped. I should have been a better friend period. And a better husband" he added as an after thought.

"I have a great wife who's been there through everything and I can't bring myself to tell her any of it, of how I see his dead body, of Grissom covered in his blood that should have been me, I should have been closer to him. The look in McKeen's eyes when I held that gun on him. The thought of going to work everyday and not seeing him in passing or a wave hello is gunna be hard he's been a part of my life for over a decade is a bit overwhelming and I know she wants to be there for me but how do I tell her all the evil things when I've tried so hard to protect her from it?" he switched Eli to his other arm

"You could start at the beginning" Katie stood in front of him, smiling at Eli who waved his arms excitedly. "It's time for Eli's food and nap time, Tina's making the rounds" she stepped closer to place a hand on both Nick and Eli's back. Nick nodded.

"I've set up a play date in about a month for Eli and Mackenzie that way she'll be a little more responsive and awake then she is now and we can keep track of how Eli's doing." He was at a loss for words, his wife truly was an amazing person.

"I would like you to be in Eli's life, to tell him how great Warrick was and stories about him. I'm sure you have better ones than I do" Tina had appeared taking Eli from Nick's arms. Catherine was wandering up.

"I couldn't resist had to see this little guy one more time, he really is a spitting image of his father Tina" Catherine replied.

"One thing I'm thankful for, he'll be told that over and over again" Tina smiled as Eli began to fuss "I know it's past nap time. It was nice to see and meet all of you" Sara and Greg had sauntered over, figuring it was safe. Everyone waved Tina off.

"We're all going to the café Nicky as a proper send off if you want to join us" Nick's hand found Katie's and squeezed hard.

"If you don't mind if we bring Mackenzie, my sister's due to drop her off anytime now" Katie answered for him

"Of course not goodness knows we need a dose of happiness. I'll see everybody in half an hour than" Catherine left making her own rounds.

"Hey man how you holding up?" Greg asked

"Sara would you like to come with my sister just pulled up with Mackenzie" Katie put her phone back in her purse

"Sure" the two women left, Nick watching Katie leave laughing about something with Sara

"I keep expecting him to bet me on some game or case. I don't know a little surreal at the moment" it was silent for a few minutes both men politely sipping on their drinks.

"Where's daddy?" Nick heard and a little laugh follow it

"There he is" Katie flew Mackenzie to him and she held out her arms ready to be in her father's arms he took her willingly glad for the distraction.


"It's amazing isn't it?" Catherine took a sip of her coffee before continuing "Last year at this time Lindsey was just starting college, Greg you were dating Becky" Greg had to put his hand over top of Sara's to stop the glare she gave Catherine "Grissom you'd just come back, you and Sara had just broken up. Nick you and Katie well maybe I shouldn't mention that little separation but Katie you weren't even pregnant yet and here look at you too a beautiful baby girl"

"And I have a niece!" Greg piped up

"A lot can happen in a year" Katie directed the look to Greg and Sara

"That's for sure" everyone looked at Grissom whom for the better part of the day had remained silent.

"Here's to Warrick" Sara raised her coffee cup everyone following suit, the action caused a little whimper from the sleeping Mackenzie in Nick's arm but she fell back asleep instantly.

There was going to be a lot of years ahead of them they just had to do it with out Warrick.

"For Warrick" everyone agreed