Well my first attempt at a songfic. ^^ I hope you all like it! Its a Grimmjow/Ichigo so there is some implied stuff there =p

Its rated T for some language and theme's. Please rate and review~~~


I'm holding on so tightly now
My insides scream so loud
They keep watching, watching me drown
How did it come to this?

Labored shallow breaths passed his lips in a rush. His grip on the chair he was currently strapped to was constricting, the reitsu supressants sending a burning fire all throughout his body, begging to be released in the form of a scream that he would not allow the people standing guard to hear. He may have been captured by the bastards but he sure as hell wouldn't let them know just how much he was suffering at their hands. Seriously, Grimmjow thought to himself with a wry smirk, how did I get myself into this mess?

But thinking back on it now he knew he wouldn't change a thing.

How did it come to this?
How did I know it was you?
It was a bad dream, asphyxiated watch me bleed.
The life support was cut, the knot was too tight.
They push and pull me but they know they'll never win.

The memories poored into his mind and Grimmjow, with a mental shrug, decided to let them. There wasn't anything else to do while he was strapped to this chair awaiting for the Shinigami's verdict. Ichigo; short tempered, head strong, fiercely beautiful Ichigo. At first he thought the boy was a bad dream that just wouldn't go away. His mind was always on reply after every encounter until it got to the point of obsession. Every single time Ichigo came around, a scowl on his handsome lightly tanned face, Grimmjow's chest clenched almost painfully. It was as if his life was being cut to pieces when that pressure increased after he started to find the boy just to see him. And after a while Ichigo stopped scowling at him.

Ichigo smiled at him. Thats when Grimmjow figured out what he wanted. He wanted this boy, in both his dreams and in reality. Such a shocking discovery. Orange hair, worried caramel eyes, unrivaled strength.

"I love you." Grimmjow breathed out. "I don't care what happens next. I love you."

Throw it all away, throw it all away.
I keep on screaming but, there's really nothing left to say.
So get away, just get away.
I keep on fighting but, I cant keep going on this way.

For Ichigo's sake Grimmjow decided to stop fighting. He'd throw everything away for Ichigo. And that was exactly what he was going to do. Nnoitra, the only one Grimmjow would ever consider a friend in that hell hole Aizen built, screamed and yelled about how stupid he was being.

"You're going against Aizen because of a brat?" Nnoitra screamed and Grimmjow was tempted to scream back but he had nothing left to say to Nnoitra. Except this.

"He may be a brat but he's my brat. A brat that makes me feel alive." So get away from me Nnoitra, Grimmjow thought with a growl, his brilliantly blue eyes gleaming with barely withheld anger, just get away.

Grimmjow anticipated a fight but he knew he couldn't go all out against Nnoitra just like he knew Nnoitra wouldn't go all out against him. After all they both fought just so they could feel alive. But Grimmjow just couldn't do it anymore. Finally, after all these years, he found someone that made him want to stop fighting.

I cant keep going, cant keep going on like this.
They make me sick.
And I get so sick of it.
Cause they wont let me, they wont let me breathe.
Why cant they let me be?

No longer could he stand it. With a roar he struggled in the restraints. He wanted Ichigo. He wanted those warm caramel eyes looking at him with a smile. The smell of Shinigami was making him sick, a reminder that he was taken away from Ichigo, that Ichigo was alone. Yet they wouldn't let him be alone, they wouldn't even care if he stopped breathing because of the tightness of the restraints.

"Ichigo," he whispered, doubling his efforts to break away from the chair. "Ichigo, Ichigo, Ichigo." Repeating Ichigo's name like a mantra Grimmjow didn't stop in his fight to get free. "Ichigo." Soon enough Grimmjow was crying out Ichigo's name.

Why cant they let me be?
Why don't I know what I am?
I force this hate into my heart cause its my only friend.
My lips are sewn shut, I watch myself bleed.
They push and pull me and its killing me within.

Hatred for the Shinigami who tore them apart was growing stronger as each moment passed. Right now his hatred was the only friend he had in this cage they forced him in. He, who used to be feared for his violent strength, was not even able to break a chair. Ichigo changed him to the point where he no longer knew what he was.

With his lips pressed together in a tight line Grimmjow watched his blood flow from underneath the straps that held him down. Great, he thought, rolling his eyes as he internally groaned, now I've made myself bleed. Those damn Shinigami were pushing their luck, but they must've known that seperating him from Ichigo was killing him from the inside out. They were pushing his buttons just right.

I cant keep going, cant keep going on this way
I cant keep going, cant keep going on this way

Just as he though he couldn't go on any longer the door to his cage burst open, Ichigo panting from inside the doorframe. He was leaning against the frame, Zangetsu slung over his shoulder almost carelessly.

"Yo." Was the only greeting Ichigo gave before rushing over, slicing the leather reiatsu stealing straps right down the middle. Before Grimmjow could even say thanks Ichigo was turning away, only to pause in mid-step as a group of Shinigami blocked the door, their only exit.

"Ichigo," Grimmjow chocked out, eyes wide when Ichigo's muscles tensed in preparation for the inevitable battle. The first move had already been made and Grimmjow screamed out his love's name.

My heart beat stumbles and my back bone crumbles.
I feel is it real, as the lynch mob doubles.
They want blood and they'll kill for it.
Drain me and they'll kneel for it.
Burn me at the stake, met the devil made the deal for it.
Guillotine dreams yeah there guillotine gleams the blood of there enemies watching while they sentence me.
Sentencing decease sentence decease and watch them bask in the glory of their holy disease.

He watched as Ichigo stumbled with his step, a shocked expression falling onto his features while the group of Shinigami, the group he's helped multiple times, doubled in size as they surrounded him. Grimmjow could see it in their eyes, the need to kill him, the need to see his blood, the need to make his normally arrogantly cocky mouth beg. It was as if they were possessed by the torturous rulers of Hell. His breath came out in pants of pain as all he could do was watch as the Shinigami raised their swords high into the air, the metal gleaming from the golden rays of sunshine that fell upon it. Some of those swords was splattered with the crimson liquid of Ichigo's blood, having landed there after a lucky hit on their part.

Anger slowly replaced the pain as he watched them swing their swords in a drunken frenzy at Ichigo's tired body. The boy, for that was all he really was, tired but still fighting for both of their lives, continued to make Grimmjow see his blood fly. It was his sentence, his crime, his enemies... So why was Ichigo the one being attacked? Why was he the one suffering from their arrogant judgements? Seriously, he thought as he lifted himself up off the ground despite the immense pain it brought him, how did it come to this?

I keep on running
I keep on running
I keep on running
But I cant keep going on this way

Somehow they were able to escape from the Shinigami mob. All they could do now was run and keep on running. But Grimmjow knew they wouldn't be able to run much longer. Ichigo was hurt, badly from the amount of blood splattering every few seconds onto the ground. Even if they kept running they would easily be found because of the blood trail. And Ichigo... Grimmjow bit his lip, growling at how helpless it was.

"Grimmjow," Ichigo mumbled out, his soft voice the only pleasure Grimmjow would ever find in this Shinigami land, "I love you."

Shocked into stillness Grimmjow looked at Ichigo, at his pale features, at the steadily growing blood soaking into his uniform, and knew Ichigo was dying.

"I love you too, Ichi." He whispered, pulling the boy to him after rounding a shaded corner. Sliding down against the wall he pulled Ichigo ontop of him, letting the boy rest in his lap. That was the first time Ichigo ever told him he loved him. A tear slid from his eye as Ichigo's breathing became shallow and slow. "I really love you Ichigo."

"Grimm..." Ichigo smiled up at him, a painfully sad smile that made Grimmjow's heart break. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Grimm." With that last sentence Ichigo's breathing came to a still and Grimmjow sat there, holding his love, and wouldn't let go even when the Shinigami approached him. All he sad to them as the moved closer was:

"Kill me now and bury me with him. Kill me like you killed him, who suffered through so much for your sorry asses." And he pulled Ichigo tighter to his body, refusing to let go.