Hello whoever is reading this! This is a fic I decided to write as a companion to Lupiniun Star's Congratulations. You don't necessarily need to read that to understand this, but you should read it anyway if you haven't.

Anyway, this is my first attempt at writing for Hetalia, so I apologize if anyone seems OOC. But I do want to write more fics for the series, so I may as well start off with a manual fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters. Also, I do not own Sasha, Madge, Audrey, or, at the moment, any other OCs in this fic. The OCs are property of Lupiniun Star. Nor do I own the Hetalia manuals. Credit for that goes to LolliDictator.

So enjoy!


I knew I shouldn't have answered that text.

It had been a nice, normal summer day. I woke up at the relatively early time of 10:30 after staying up half the night goofing around online. Since I lived by myself in a reasonably sized apartment, I basically got to set my own rules. Which meant doing absolutely nothing all day.

Anyway. That text. It came from my best friend Sasha Collins. She usually lived with her aunt. They had recently moved to a large house at the edge of town, and now her aunt had left Sasha alone for about a year.

Here's the thing. Sasha can't cook. I have absolutely no idea what her aunt was thinking.

Okay. So the text. I was just settling down for another well-spent day online when I received it. It said, in giant capital letters, 'MAAADGEE. IVAN. GONNA DIE. NEED VODKA. HELP.'

What the hell?

"I swear, Sasha, if you're pulling a prank or something, I'm going to freaking murder you," I mumbled as I stood up and left my apartment.

There went my well-spent day online.


When I finally got to Sasha's house, I couldn't believe my eyes.

The first thing I noticed was Sasha herself. She was holding an ice pack to her head, which I wasn't all that surprised about. After all, it was Sasha.

Then I noticed another girl on the ground. That was Audrey. Not sure what she was doing, but then again, no one ever knew what the hell went on in her mind…

Finally, there was the guy Sasha was leaning against. I had skimmed over him a few seconds ago, but then I looked at him again. Tall. Silvery hair. Purple eyes. A tan-ish coat and a scarf.

He looked exactly like Russia. Ivan freaking Braginski was in Sasha's house.

"…What the hell is going on?" I demanded.

Sasha didn't say anything. She looked a little dazed.

"I repeat, what the hell is going on? Sash! Answer me!" I demanded, more than a little annoyed. She had dragged me away from my day online, dammit. I was going to get some answers.

Sasha looked around, seeming to realize that, oh yeah, Audrey was on the floor and Russia was in her house! I see! Of course she forgot! It makes sense! And by "it makes sense," I mean that Sasha is a freaking idiot.

"Audrey fainted," she said. No shit, Sherlock.

"Obviously," I said.

"Russia's living with me," she added.

Yeah. You know, I have these two things called "eyes," and – oh, screw it, it's not worth it. "I can see that. Now what happened? I got that weird message from you earlier today and came over as soon as I could. Talk, woman."

Sasha laughed. I swear, she is just asking for trouble. And by trouble I mean a fist in the face. "Alright, alright, lemme explain," she said.

This had better be good.


So, from what I could figure out, Sasha had won these things called Hetalia units in some online contest she had never entered. Ivan arrived three days ago. Today, they had run out of vodka, and Sasha got dragged around while Ivan somehow managed to get vodka without an ID, before beating up the delivery guy who had come to give Ivan his ID.

About an hour after, Audrey had arrived and promptly fainted at the sight of Ivan in all his glory.

…Right.

After that, Sasha had fallen asleep, and then I arrived.

I sighed and went to close the front door. "Damn Russian," I muttered.

"What did you say, comrade?" And there was the bastard himself, grinning from the kitchen doorway.

What did I say? Oh, not much. Just that you're a freaking idiot, a creep-master, and several other harsh names I really don't need to mention. "I said, damn Russian. What are you, deaf as well as stupid? And I'm not your comrade." Okay, maybe not my best insult, but whatever.

I glared at Ivan. Ivan just smiled at me. Bastard. He had his purple aura going. Some people got scared by that. I thought it made him look like a fairy. An overgrown fairy with the slight problem of being an ass.

"Wha…? Madge, why are you glaring at Russia while he's in creepy mood?" Audrey asked, finally up from passing out.

Ivan is not creepy. He's a pretty little fairy friend of Arthur's.

"Oh, it is because she is a brat who needs to learn to respect her elders," Ivan responded cheerfully. Because that was gonna end the matter right then and there.

"I'm not going to respect you, you commie!"

"Kolkolkolkolkol…"

Oh no, I'm terrified. He's laughing! Oh no! I must bow down to him at once! How will I ever apologize for this serious infraction on my part?

Maybe a fist in the face will work.

"…You sounded like America there," Sasha said to me. Because that was helpful and relevant to our, for lack of a better term, conversation.

"AH! America, my awesome Alfred! Do you have him?" Audrey asked, looking around as though he might magically appear out of nowhere.

"Uh, no. I don't have the hero yet, Audrey," Sasha replied.

"You two are not helping!" I said in annoyance. Jeez. If it wasn't Audrey being her strange self, it was Sasha doing something stupid.

They both shrugged and apologized. Like that was helpful, either.

"Anyways," I said, ignoring the commie bastard and walking over to Sasha, grabbing her arm. "You're coming with me. I am not leaving you with this idiot. C'mon, Audrey. You can spend the night too."

Next thing I knew, Ivan had grabbed Sasha, preventing me from pulling her any farther. "Nyet. My comrade Sasha will not leave," he said, like he got to decide what to do with her. I'm her best friend, dammit!

"Get off of her, idiot!" I yelled, glaring at him.

"Nyet! Sasha is my friend. My podruga." Yeah, because speaking Russian was definitely going to improve my mood.

"MYYY SPIIINE!" Sasha yelled as Ivan held her even tighter, if that was possible.

"Defender of men," Ivan said. Where the hell did he get that title from? "You're not going to leave me, are you?"

"Let her go!" I started pulling at Ivan's arms.

"Let me goooo, Ivan!" Sasha said. Good, she's finally starting to see the light.

"Nyet, comrade. You are going to leave me if you do." Yes, exactly. Now why don't you let go and let us be on our way?

"I'm not going to leave, Braginski! Please let me go!" Sasha said. Dammit. Ivan let go, and she glared at me of all people. Hey, at least I wasn't the one yelling at her in foreign. Was that even necessary?

"Look what you did," Sasha accused me, which was annoying. I was just trying to save her from the commie bastard, after all.

"I didn't do anything," I replied. "The giant commie over there was the one who was squishing you!"

"Kolkolkolkolkol…" Yeah, because that was so terrifying the first time.

"Leave Ivan alone, Madge!" Sasha said. Which was unfair. I hadn't even done anything!

"Fine. But I'm spending the night here," I said, relenting.

"So am I," Audrey added. "You live with Ivan! You really live with Ivan!" Uh, Audrey, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not a good thing. Ivan will most likely kill someone.

"NO!" Sasha yelled before pushing me and Audrey toward the door. "You will leave this house and not return for quite some time. You will call before you come over next time. You will both leave Ivan alone." She shoved us both out the door. I spun around and was about to say something, but Sasha politely slammed the door in my face and locked it. Politely, of course.

…She's really asking for a fist in the face.

I spun around and stomped off Sasha's porch.

"Where are you going?" Audrey called after me.

"Home," I growled. "I need some alone time and internet to calm myself down before I punch someone. And, seeing as you're the closest person near me at this time, I suggest that you allow me to calm down and not break into my apartment unannounced again."

"Okay! See you later!" Audrey said happily before leaving, probably to her own house.

I sighed as I walked. I really needed that alone time. And considering the next few days, I needed to be as calm as possible.

Damn commie bastard.