Crop destruction
Lily gave a long sigh as she looked over her produce garden on the school courtyard; most of the vegetables had been taken and what wasn't taken had been chewed and eaten before Lily could even touch it.
Lily: What happened to my produce? I worked on it for weeks.
Soren: It's a mystery!
Lily jumped slightly as Soren suddenly appeared behind her wearing a detective's plaid hat and plaid cloak.
Soren: Your vegetables are being destroyed by an unknown creature. This can only be done by a rouge vandal!
Lily: Has Weiss been expanding your vocabulary?
Soren: Regardless! Our culprit is still at large and only one thing can hunt them down.
Soren pulled out twin soul and stabbed at the half eaten tomato before whistling sharply. Zwei hopped over to him and Soren held out the eaten vegetable to the dog.
Soren: Alright Zwei, find the scent boy.
Zwei sniffed the shirt and started smelling around the soil before digging into it and grabbing at a large brown ear.
?: Ow! Stop pulling!
Zwei gave a powerful pull and Velvet came popping out of the ground and flopped onto the ground.
Lily: Velvet!?
Soren: Of course, she could not resist the rabbit instinct to eat and raided your vegetables.
Velvet: N-No! I didn't do anything like that!
Soren: So then these…AREN'T your teeth marks!
Soren held out a head of lettuce with a bite mark on it and shoved it into Velvet mouth perfectly matching where it had the bite mark.
Lily: 'Gasp' It matches!
Soren: I rest my case!
As Soren gave a proud look Velvet suddenly pulled the lettuce head out of her mouth and smashed it on Soren's head.
Velvet: You can't just go shoving things in peoples' mouth!
Soren: Ow! How can lettuce do so much damage!?
Suddenly Coco popped her head out of the hole in the ground.
Coco: Hey Velvet, you swipe the vegetables?
Everyone, including Zwei, turned their head to look at Coco who looked shocked as she slowly descended back into the hole before Velvet followed and covered up the hole.
Soren: Of course, Velvet was just a pawn in a much bigger game; Coco must be the true culprit!
Lily: Please stop.
Too hot…
Team RWBY and SAGL were currently enjoying the bright sunny day; Weiss, Alice and Yang were all laying on long chairs in bikinis and soaking up the sun as they worked on their tans; Blake and Lily were reading under a nearby tree while Gareth took a nice nap next to them while Soren was currently swinging his sword as he trained in the center of the whole matter.
Weiss: …Anyone else think we should have gone to the beach today?
Everyone looked at her and made various motions of agreement. Suddenly a triumphant laugh was heard from nearby where Roman Torchwick and Neo were currently standing.
Roman: Prepare yourselves children! For today is the day I shall have my revenge on you all! Your doom is at hand!
Soren: Can we push this back to another day?
Roman: What!? No! I shall destroy you here!
Alice: It's too hot to deal with anything.
Yang: Seriously…pass the sunscreen.
The clinking of glasses passed through the air as Ruby hopped over holding a tray of ice cold lemonade.
Ruby: Who wants lemonade?
Roman: There will be no lemonade! The only thing you shall drink is the bitter drink of revenge!
Roman looked over in shock to see Neo was enjoying lemonade with the others.
Roman: Neo, we're not here to enjoy lemonade!
Neo pulled out a sign.
Neo: 'But it's cold and refreshing.'
Roman made various grunts and wails before taking a long sigh and grabbing a glass of lemonade sucking it down.
Roman: …Mmm…not bad.
Secrets
Gareth sat in the dining hall with a mountain of food on the table in front of him making him drool slightly; stepped forward with Mercury and Emerald on either side of her.
Cinder: This can all be yours. All I need is information on Beacon.
Gareth: For this much food I'll give you my room key.
Mercury: Really…
Emerald quickly bonked him on the head and nodded to Cinder who turned back to Gareth.
Cinder: Are there any interesting…secrets you could tell us about this place.
Gareth thought for a moment before giving a look of realization.
Gareth: I hear Ozpin…
All three of the leaned in to hear him intently.
Gareth: …drinks tea with lemon.
Cinder: …A-Anything else you could tell us?
Gareth: Hmmm…there's a rumor going around that Glynda really likes romance novels.
Mercury tapped his foot impatiently and growled as Emerald gave a look of shock and disbelief.
Cinder: How about anything that maybe isn't known to anybody…something that the staff may not want others to know.
Gareth: Oooohhh, I know what you want.
Cinder's face lit up as Gareth beckoned them out of the cafeteria.
Gareth led them to the office building and into the elevator before hitting a button labeled, 'S.T.A.G'. The elevator clunked down lower and lower as Cinder grew more giddy and giddy until it stopped and the elevator opened up to reveal a room with a glass window in front of it where Ozpin, Port, and Oobleck were all standing together in a soundproofing room with mics in front of each of them. Next to them was a second room where Glynda was sitting with a set of headphones on and a mixing board in front of her.
Ozpin: Alright everyone. A one and a two and a-
Ozpin, Oobleck and Port: My Grim lies over the ocean, my grim lies over the sea, my grim lies over the ocean. Oh bring back my Grim to meeee.
Gareth: There you go. The biggest secret I know.
Emerald: The teachers have an acapella group?
Mercury: I am SO getting all of this on video.
Cinder sighed as she slumped against the wall.
Cinder: Soooo…disappointing…even though they're not have bad.
Ozpin, Oobleck, and Port: Oh bring back my Grim tooooo….meeeeeeeee!
Jealousy
Gareth and Velvet sat in the library as Velvet went over a book as Gareth listened to her.
Velvet: And that's how the Grim were taken out of Vacuo due to the strenuous heat and desert sand.
Gareth: Cool. Wait…then how did humans and Faunus cultivate it?
Velvet giggled before pulling out another book.
Velvet: I actually really like how it happened. You see-
Lily: Hey guys.
Lily stepped up to the table and looked over at Velvet and Lily before glaring.
Lily: W-What's happening here?
Gareth: Velvet is reading to me.
Lily went slack jawed and wide eyed at this before taking a deep breath and quickly moving in between Gareth and Velvet.
Lily: W-W-Well I think I should help out!
Velvet: Um…are you okay?
Lily turned to Velvet and stared her in the eyes with an intensity that made Velvet slightly cower.
Lily: Just fine…now-
She turned to Gareth and gave him a bright smile.
Lily: -let's get some reading done.
As Lily started reading Gareth listened intently as Velvet shivered and slid away from the table in fear.
It wasn't me
Alice, Ruby and Blake sat in Team Rwby's room with Alice and Blake reading while Ruby was playing game. Suddenly the door burst open and Soren rushed in before slamming it behind him making all of the girls look at him in confusion and shock.
Alice: What in gods' name-
Soren: If anyone asks, I was studying with…Blake, in the library ALL day.
Blake: What are you-
A thunderous voice cut through the air from outside.
Yang: WHO DESTROYED MY BIKE!
Ruby: Was that-
Soren: Look, I'll pay you to say we studied all day Blake! What do you want!? Tuna? I can get you tuna! Or maybe the third book in your series; The man with two souls three, the man with six souls!
Yang: MY SUNGLASSES!
Alice: What did you do to her bike!?
Soren: Let's not get in to the specifics of what exactly happened, okay? Let's just all agree, I can't drive…and Blake and I were at the library all day.
Blake: …Where's your left glove?
Soren looked down at his left hand to find his fingerless glove not slipped over the palm as Blake pointed out.
Soren: …Oh no.
Yang: SOREN!
Soren stood there for a moment before opening the door and slamming it behind him as he rushed out. A few second later the sound of gun fire could be heard in the distance and slight screaming.
Ruby: …You think he's okay.
Alice: Eh…who knows?
With that everyone went back to what they were doing as various sounds of destruction could be heard from outside as Soren screamed and Yang yelled.
Fort Port
Soren, Gareth, Ren, and Jaune all stood in front of the elevator as waited as it slowly made its way up to them.
Gareth: Well, anyone else up for a shower?
Soren: I could use one.
Jaune: Yeah, training with the girls is exhausting.
Soren: Especially with Pyrrha and Weiss beating you so many times.
Jaune: Like you have room to talk!
Ren: I too could use a shower.
The elevator opened and all of the boys stepped in. Before Soren hit ground floor he saw a bunch of buttons below ground floor. The others shrugged in confusion before Gareth pointed to one of the buttons labeled, 'Fort Port (No girls allowed)'.
Soren: Ooooh…
Gareth: Press it, Preeeeessss iiiiiiiiiiit.
Soren shrugged before hitting the button and hearing the elevator clunk down until it gave a ding. When the door opened there was another door with a slot on it; when Soren knocked on the door the slot opened up and a pair of eyebrows came into view.
Port: Password?
Soren looked at the others who all shrugged before Ren stepped forward.
Ren: Is it…No girls allowed?
The slot closed before various unlocking sounds could be heard and the door opened to reveal a man cave like area with Ozpin and Oobleck playing foosball in the back.
Port: Welcome to Fort Port boys!
Gareth: Wow…it's awesome!
Soren: I didn't expect this honestly.
Port: Alright boys, please come in and be careful…enemies lurk everywhere.
Ren: What enemies?
Ruby: CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGE!
Everyone turned to see Ruby, Yang and Nora all charging at the doorway with a battering ram. Port quickly closed the door and pressed a button that covered the door in steel. A few seconds later the sound of something crashing against the door was heard before collective groaning followed.
Yang: No…fair…
Port: Hoho! Going to have to try harder than that to get in here.
Ruby: We'll show you! We'll have our own clubhouse and it'll be awesome!
They slinked away as Port laughed along with Gareth.
Soren: I don't get it, why not let girls in?
Everyone gave Soren a collective look of shock as he looked around confused.
Soren: …What?
The next moment the door opened and Soren was tossed out the door before it slammed behind him.
Soren: …Ow.
Water Games
Soren and Alice sat in the boat in the middle of the lake enjoying the bright sun and gentle water ripples as fish passed over the top. Soren and Alice both had fishing poles sitting on the waters' edge as fish came by and inspected the bobbers.
Soren: Ah…nothing beats fishing when you want to do something quiet.
Alice: I will admit that just waiting is better than chasing. Although…we haven't gotten any bites yet.
Soren: Yeah, that is weird…I think something is scaring the fish off.
Suddenly Alice's pole bent as something pulled at the line and Alice lunged to grab it before pulling with all her might and pulling Blake out of the water; she was wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear.
Alice: Blake!?
Soren: Why are you in the water? Wait…you're the one scaring the fish!?
Blake: What? No. I am too quiet for that.
Alice: You're definitely decked out for it.
Suddenly Soren's line began to bend and he grabbed it before reeling in and pulling Ruby out of the water, she was also wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear.
Soren: What the-
Alice: Why are YOU in the water!?
Ruby: How else are you supposed to play Marco Polo?
Suddenly Weiss climbed into the boat and, unsurprisingly, was wearing scuba gear and a wetsuit.
Weiss: So, are we done playing?
Yang: (Muffled in water) Marco!
Ruby: Polo!
If the weapon fits
The whole group was gathered together in the dining hall as a weapon exhibition was being held; everyone had their weapons on display for the others to see. Blake and Weiss were currently at Soren's booth.
Blake: So he uses a long sword…it seems simple.
Weiss: I'm sure there must be a hidden button for a gun or something…maybe a motion?
Weiss picked up Twin Soul and swung it suddenly getting clocked in the jaw as it converted to blade staff mode.
Weiss: No fair!
Blake: I thought it was two swords?
Blake swung it in a different manner and suddenly the other end popped off and flew up before the hilt hit Blake in the head.
Blake: Ow!
As Blake and Weiss stood in confusion at Twin Soul, Yang and Nora were currently examining Gareth's Earthbreaker.
Nora: It's big.
Yang: It's just a battle axe?
Nora: Hey look, a button!
Nora pressed the button and suddenly the axe head fell off the handle and clanked to the ground as a chain spooled out.
Yang: Woah!
Nora: It's like a Morningstar!
Nora picked up the axe handle and began to swing it around wildly.
Yang: Nora, be careful, that could hit someone if you're not-
Before she could finish the axe end sent Yang flying as it collided with her. Nearby at Lily's booth, Sun and Neptune were examining Reaper in its staff mode.
Sun: So…it's just a staff?
Neptune: Then why is it called reaper?
Sun looked closely to see a button in the middle and pressed it to make a scythe edge suddenly sprout and stick into the ground.
Sun: That…might be why.
Neptune: You might want to pull it out.
Sun tried to pull and found it was dug into the ground pretty well.
Sun: Don't think I can.
Neptune: Hang on.
They both pulled with all their might and as it was pulled from the ground they went crashing into the stand behind them. Lastly, Ruby and Jaune were looking over Alice's booth and her weapon Enchantress.
Jaune: Huh, so she uses dust cylinders.
Ruby: But it's so tiny…how does she pull of so many elemental attacks?
Jaune: These guys have way too complicated weapons.
Ruby: Yeah, I'm glad ours are so simple.
Gareth: Hey guys?
Ruby and Jaune turned to see Gareth chuckling nervously.
Gareth: What's the fastest way to the infirmary? I…accidently slash Soren when I hit a button on Ruby's scythe. Alice also clocked Lily in the face when she accidently opened Jaune's sword and shield thing.
Ruby: …That's just a coincidence.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for iced poison!
Alice, Weiss, and Pyrrha sat in the ice cream parlor in Vale enjoying casual chitchat as they waited for their orders to be brought to them.
Pyrrha: This is nice. I never knew they opened an ice cream place in Vale.
Alice: Yeah, I don't think this was here last week.
Weiss: You know, I don't remember hearing about this place either.
As they chatted Roman and Neo stood in the back looking over the three girls as Roman gave a wicked grin.
Roman: Muahahahaha! With this ice cream shop as a front we can serve ice cream to our enemies with poison as the special ingredient!
Neo: 'And Neopolitan'
Roman: Yes, yes. That too. Now prepare the Sundays!
Neo pulled out a plate with three Sundays on them. She strode out and placed the Sundays down in front of the three girls and placing a personal cherry on top of all three.
Neo: 'Enjoy'
Pyrrha: Thank you.
Weiss: Hey…don't we know that girl?
Alice: I…don't think so. Well, our ice cream is here so let's-
?: Salutations!
Before they all dug in Penny strode in and stood in front of all three of them.
Alice: Hey Penny.
Pyrrha: It is very nice to see you again Penny.
Penny: And it is a pleasure to see you as well. Are you enjoying cow secretion?
Weiss: You mean ice cream?
Penny: …Yes. But if I may intrude, the cherries seem very peculiar according to my scanners.
Pyrrha and Weiss looked at each other in confusion as Alice felt her brow sweat with worry.
Alice: …Hahahaha…very funny Penny. You're a pretty good joker…here, have our cherries.
Alice picked the cherries off the top of the Sundays and placed them in Penny's hands.
Penny: Thank you Alice. I shall consume them now.
Penny popped them in her mouth and smiled as both Roman and Neo gave looks of shock from the back room. Penny covered her mouth before burping as a cloud of purple smoke came from her mouth and formed a skull and bones.
Penny: Excuse me.
Pool visit
Gareth ran around the pool in his trunks chasing after Neptune as he tried to avoid the pool.
Neptune: No! I refuse to enter the pool! No water!
Gareth: You can't run forever! I will get you in that pool!
Neptune: No! I will die before I enter the pool!
Neptune looked up to see Sun lazing in his lifeguard chair as he watched Neptune run around the edge of the pool.
Neptune: Shouldn't you be stopping Gareth from running around the pool!?
Sun: I'm on my break.
Neptune: For how long?
Sun: How long are you going to struggle?
Neptune: Wha-
Suddenly Gareth lunged and Neptune stepped back as Gareth slid forward and into the pool supplies.
Neptune: Ha! I- whoa, whoa whoa-
Neptune teetered back and forth as he stood on the very edge of the pool about to fall in before making a big splash and crashing into the water. As Sun chuckled Gareth got up and gave his tail a high five.
Sun: Good plan.
Gareth: I get one out of every ten.
Jealousy
Lily and Jaune sat in the library going over test notes from the pop quiz earlier that day.
Lily: Alright, knowing Peach there will be a big test in a week. The good news is she always plays her hand too quickly and puts important questions on that pertain to what she asks on big tests.
Jaune: Wow…you know your stuff. Thanks for helping me out Lily.
Lily: No problem, I don't mind helping you.
Pyrrha: Hey Jaune…hi Lily.
Jaune: Hey Pyrrha. Lily said she would help me study for Peach's test.
Pyrrha: Really? …How nice of her…you know, I wouldn't mind sharing my notes.
Jaune: Really? That would be awesome.
Pyrrha: Yes, I would love to help you.
Suddenly Pyrrha pushed Lily's chair over as she set one down in between both of them and looked at Jaune.
Lily: Um…I was-
Pyrrha looked over at Lily with a smile and leaned in making her face slightly darken in the shadows of the room.
Pyrrha: I think we've got this covered…why don't you go do something else for a bit Lily?
Lily felt something crawl up her spine before she stood up and walked away leaving Jaune and Pyrrha to study alone as she shuddered away.
Junior Detective's Detective
Sun and Neptune sat under a tree and both gave a long sigh as they looked at their detective badges.
Sun: Man, we've been in a slump. Every case we've taken had been a bust!
Neptune: I know. Remember that dust shop robbery?
Sun: Poor old man. I wonder how if he got the flowers we sent?
Neptune: Maybe this town is too much for a detective duo.
?: Then how about a trio?
Sun and Neptune looked around for the voice before Soren came leaping down from the tree and stood proudly in his detective hat and plaid cloak.
Neptune: Soren?
Soren: Call me: Ace Detective Soren!
Sun: What do you know about being a detective?
Soren: Well I solved the case of Lily's vegetable patch.
Neptune: I heard about that.
Sun: Didn't Velvet and Coco beat you up?
Soren: Specifics aren't needed! All you need to know is that I've got the one thing neither of you do!
Neptune: And what's that?
Soren reached into his jacket and pulled out a big magnifying glass.
Soren: A magnifying glass.
Sun and Neptune looked at each other and whispered before standing up and extending their hands.
Sun: Welcome to the team rookie!
Neptune: Don't let us down.
Soren: I won't!
Coco: Soren! Come out and take your beating!
Velvet: Better not make a sound, I'll hear it!
Soren: I've already learned something important.
Neptune: What?
Soren: When the case is done don't do a follow up investigation…especially when it ended badly the first time.
Coco and Velvet: SOREN!
Literature Club
Blake, Velvet, Lily, Gareth and Weiss all sat around holding a copy of the first edition of 'A Man with Two Souls'.
Blake: Let's bring this first meeting of our book club to order. How did everyone like the book?
Velvet: I thoroughly enjoyed the inner turmoil Seth faced with his body being shared with Jake.
Weiss: I found it interesting how his connection with Jennet saved him from being consumed by his weakened state.
Lily: It was surprisingly touching when we found out that his mentor, who was believed to be against him, sacrificed himself in order to save both his new pupil and his old pupil.
Blake, Weiss and Velvet all gave various sounds of agreement.
Gareth: Huh…so this is a book club…kind of boring.
Weiss: Then why are you here?
Gareth: Lily read the book to me. I thought since she did that I could join her at book club.
Blake: Well then what did you think of Seth's upbringing as the runt of his family?
Gareth: Well it was interesting how he felt distanced and alone despite coming from a large family. It was kind of unrealistic how he felt alone because it seemed like he and his brother Brent seemed to connect so well when he met up with him and they seemed very happy to see one another despite drifting apart when Brent went off to make something of himself when Seth was still so young.
Every girl except Lily gave looks of pure shock and awe directed at Gareth who slapped his knees before standing up.
Lily: He's an intent listener.
Weiss: Obviously.
Blake: …I think…book club is done for the day.
Suddenly Ruby came busting in.
Ruby: In that case. I invite everyone to come join me in MY book club with Alice, Pyrrha and Nora.
Weiss: What's your book?
Ruby: Ninja's of Love.
Blake: WHAT!?
As soon as she finished that word everyone except Gareth and Blake had left the room with turned over and knocked over folding chairs.
Gareth: Man…that's a new record.
Hide and Rescue
Alice, Jaune and Yang all searched around the courtyard looking under every shrub, tree, bench, building, and bed they could find looking for Ren.
Yang: Come on, we've been looking for Ren for hours now.
Jaune: I don't understand. How can we not find him?
Alice: Maybe it has to do with the fact we're looking for someone who has a semblance that TURNS HIM INVISIBLE!
Jaune: Oh yeah…kind of forgot about that.
Yang: Fine time to forget.
Alice: Alright, let's just think. Where would an invisible guy be?
Everyone went into deep thought before Alice gave a loud groan.
Alice: Oh for gods' sake.
Alice turned around and punched at the air hitting Ren's stomach and making him turn visible before collapsing on the ground.
Alice: Stop using that!
Ren: Noted…stop using that.
Alice: Deal.
Compost King
Team JNPR sat in their room with Pyrrha playing with her sword while Ren was sitting while Nora was cutting his hair and Jaune was reading a comic book. Gareth broke the silence as he bust open the door making everyone jump as he held mulch in his hand.
Gareth: Take this Jaune! I am the compost king!
Jaune: What!? How did you get mulch already! The quality needed to win is still a few weeks away!
Gareth: Tell that to this bad boy! This mulch could make trees grow into the tree of knowledge!
Nora: Wait…you played that to completion?
Pyrrha: They started a few months ago.
Gareth: And I won! Should have paid more attention to the water your soil needed Jaune!
Jaune: Well then, let's play again! I'll cream you!
Gareth: Bring it!
With that both of them rushed out the door slamming it behind them and leaving the rest of Team JNPR confused.
Ren: …Nora? Did you spill something on my head?
Nora: No…oh!
Ren: What?
Nora: N-Nothing! I just spilled something on you without thinking.
Pyrrha: Nora, your hand is red.
Playing with your food
Gareth sat at the dining table with everyone and grabbed two breadstick off his plate before sticking them into both edges of his mouth and imitating a walrus which made Lily giggle as Pyrrha, Jaune, and Yang snicker.
Alice: Gareth, don't play with your food.
Gareth inhaled the breadsticks and pouted.
Gareth: What about them?
Gareth pointed to Ruby who was holding a full bottle of ketchup and had a scale model of Godzilla made of green beans with corns for eyes on her plate while Soren had created a city replica out of French-fries and mashed potatoes.
Ruby: Beware my wrath tiny town! Now I shall bring down a fire upon your lives mortals!
Ruby squirted the ketchup over the small town making the buildings fall apart as everything on the plate became soggy.
Soren: Nooooo…this is an unforeseen and delicious tragedy! Who could have predicted our demise by ketchup! Now we shall be devoured by the gods!
Ruby: And I shall rule over the remains…for I am made of vegetables and no one would want to eat me.
Soren grabbed the salt and sprinkled it over the Green Bean Godzilla.
Ruby: 'Gasp' Oh no, salt! The one thing that can make me eatable! I am doomed! DOOOOMMMMMED!
Ruby bit into the Godzilla's head as everyone looked in disbelief.
Alice: …Those two are unfixable.
Weiss: Agreed.
Jealousy
Soren and Glynda sat in the library as Glynda went over the study material for her class with him.
Soren: Thanks for the help Glynda. I really needed the study aid.
Glynda: It's a teacher's job to help her students.
Soren: Still…thanks.
Glynda: You're very welcome.
Weiss: Hey Soren.
Soren turned to see Alice and Weiss approaching him.
Soren: Hey girls. Glynda is helping me study.
Alice: Really? …Hmmm.
Weiss: You know, we could help you…and give Glynda a break.
Glynda: That's fine. I cleared my time block for helping Soren.
Weiss and Alice both moved over to each side of Glynda and stared directly at her.
Alice: No, we INSIST.
Weiss: Yes, we REALLY want to help out…so we'll see you in class.
Glynda sighed pushing her glasses up before pulling out her wand and enveloping Alice and Weiss in a purple aura. She swung to the side and sent Weiss and Alice flying and crashing into a bookshelf.
Glynda: I'm too experienced to be intimidated girls.
Soren looked at her in confusion before she cleared her throat.
Glynda: Now, let's get back to studying.
Soren shrugged before going back to studying with Glynda.
Weiss: That went poorly.
Alice: Older women are terrifying.
