Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, nor the quote in the summary. It belongs to its rightful owner. I own only my story.
A/N: I have no idea what happened to Love is Forever. I uploaded it a few hours ago, the next thing I know it's gone. -sighs- Oh well, I decided to upload a much better version of it. This one will make more sense. Once again, this story is inspired by the song If I'm James Dean You're Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens. This story is Rated M for mature content, for self harm, drug abuse, language, and life threatening issues. You have been warned, so no complaints.
Enjoy!
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Love is Forever
Summary: The pain was just too unbearable as I watched the girl I fell in love with, kiss the guy that I thought was my best friend.
Chapter 1: Insanity
Another day, another nightmare.
I turned the ignition off and stepped out of my car. I slammed the door shut and walked across the parking lot. I dragged my feet across the rocky cement and slowly made my way up the steps of the school. I opened the door, and walked to my locker that is towards the back of the school.
I sighed heavily, twisted the combination in and pulled the door open. I pulled my unneeded books out of my bag and tossed them into my locker. I grabbed my English book, and shoved it into my bag. I closed my locker and was greeted by a sweet, familar face.
"Morning Eli."
"Morning Clare." I muttered. She gave me a hug, and I as much as I didn't want to return it, I did. She pulled away and asked, "How are you today?" I shrugged my shoulders and sighed heavily again. I said, "I've been better." We walked to class in silence. I chewed on my bottom lip and swallowed the growing lump in my throat. Clare walked into the room, and I took my usual seat in front of her like I always did.
I leaned forward in my desk and picked at my black nails.
"Hey Clare."
I averted my gaze up from my nails when I heard that voice. I wanted to just move, get away, but I couldn't. If I skipped class again, I could get suspended. I sighed and turned around when said person was trying to get my attention. I grimmaced at his face.
"What is it Adam?" I asked.
"Nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today?" I thought about it and came up with a quick lie saying, "I can't today. I have something to do." I turned back around and Clare tapped my shoulder. I leaned back and she whispered, "Eli, are you okay?" I nodded my head and leaned forward again.
"Good Morning class. Today you are going to get with your partners, and write a short narrative. It's due at the beginning of class tomorrow, chop chop. Get with your partners. I want to hear pencils hitting desks in a few minutes." Ms. Dawes announced. I turned around to face Clare, and noticed that she had already taken out her notebook and pen and started to brainstorm ideas. I got up and sat in my chair facing her.
"What do you want to write about?" Clare asked.
"I don't know. Anything is fine." I responded as I continued to pick at my nails, peeling the chipped black nail polish. She hit my head with her pen, and I looked up at her. I rose my eyebrows in question. I asked, "What?"
"Partners HELP each other. Help me think of ideas." Clare said.
"Okay. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl. Girl gets mad at boy, dumps him, then goes after his best friend." I snapped. Clare blinked a few times and she watched as I got up and stormed out of the room, not bothering in turning back when Ms. Dawes called out my name. I walked to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I punched the stall door and pressed my forehead against it. I slid down against the wall, and brought my knees up to my chest.
I burried my head in them and clenched my fists.
I breathed heavily, and felt my chest tighten. I lifted my head up and swallowed hard. I looked under the stall door, and made sure that no one was in the bathroom. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I opened it and took a folded piece of paper out. I opened it and grabbed the razor in there.
I lifted my sleeve and placed the razor against my already cut skin. I clenched my jaw and watched as my skin split, and blood spilled through the small cut. I sighed and dropped the razor from my hand. Blood dripped off my arm and landed on the floor, creating a small puddle. I grabbed some toilet paper, and placed it over my arm. After I finally calmed down, I cleaned the blood on the floor, and got up, after I covered my arm with the sleeve of my black jacket.
I tossed the paper away, and walked out of the bathroom. When I opened the door, Adam was standing in front of me.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.
"You just stormed out of the classroom Eli." Adam pointed out the obvious. I walked by him and said, "Whatever. It shouldn't concern you." Adam sighed and he followed me to the classroom. I walked in and sat down in my chair.
"Nice of you to join us Mr. Goldsworthy. Are you feeling alright?" Ms. Dawes asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I wasn't feeling well." I responded.
I looked up at Clare and noticed the pained look in her blue eyes. I said, "Sorry about earlier. Let's write about something else." Clare nodded and she said, "I already thought of something. It's about a girl who is in love with a boy, and he doesn't feel the same for her." I moved my bangs away from my eyes, and she smiled a bit awkwardly at me.
I cracked my knuckles, and leaned back in my chair. I watched as she scribbled some words down on her notebook, then she suddenly stopped. Clare looked up at me and said out of nowhere, which caught me by surprise, "I thought you were over the fact that Adam and I are together."
"And I thought you were smarter than that." I responded.
"Eli. You said that it was okay." Clare said.
"Maybe I lied." I leaned in and glared at her. She swallowed hard and bowed her head, hiding her face from me. I sighed. How can I get over it? It was too hard for me! I love Clare, and after one little fight, she decides to dump me and go straight for my so called best friend. Some friend you are Adam.
"Let's drop this. I'd rather not think about it." I said.
"Fine." Clare muttered.
We continued to work, but in silence. After thirty minutes I started to read what she wrote. I was barely interested in it really. I made it looked like I was reading it, but I was actually looking above the paper, and watching Clare as she twisted her curly hair between her fingers. After five minutes I placed the paper down and she looked up asking, "Do you like it?"
"It's okay. You have to change a few things, but other than that it's good. If you want I can type it tonight, and revise it a little, then send it to you through email." I suggested. Clare nodded. The bell rung and everybody gathered their things. I quickly walked out of the classroom, and stood near my locker. I turned my attention to the door of the room I just exited.
I slammed my locker shut, and cursed under my breath. I can feel my chest tighten, as I walked by Adam and Clare.
The pain was just too unbearable as I watched the girl I fell in love with, kiss the guy that I thought was my best friend.
End of Chapter 1
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MewIchigo24
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Sayonara -waves-
