The Winchester Gospel - Hijacked

a/n So this idea came after reading "Movie Night with the Winchesters" by Niknakz93. And I just couldn't help myself. The prompt was "archangels", and this one is mainly Gabe, but it also mentions Cas acting... Well, read and see!

Chuck stared down at the newest manuscript in shock. This couldn't be right. "...when Dean pulled on the skirt, hopped up on the bar and started singing..."

The part before had been even more unlikely and horrifying. Why in the holy hell would Sam ever kick a puppy? Wasn't it against the huge guy's moral code or something?

Had Chuck missed something? Had Sam finally said yes, and it was actually Lucifer walking around in Sam's meat suit, literally stealing candy from babies and throwing kittens out windows? But Lucifer wouldn't hit on Gabriel, right...?

And as for Cas... Reading Twilight... and New Moon... and Eclipse... and Breaking Dawn... in a day, and bawling like a baby while reading every single one? Then going out and renting the movies? Did Castiel even know how to rent a movie? And that was topped off with yet more crying like a baby about Edward and Jacob, and hating Bella. "Whiny, pathetic, know-nothing!" had been the exact thoughts.

What the hell was going on?

But Chuck was a prophet! He heard the angels! They were the ones who told him what was happening and what would happen to the brothers. It had to be right...

"They are gonna kill me when this gets printed," he muttered.

Then he took another swig from the bottle beside him, wiped his sweaty palms off on his bathrobe, and went back to his writing.

"...As the song played and Dean belted along, shimmying like a stripper, the bartender grinned and put out a jar for tips.

"And Sam watched it all from the darkest corner in the room, smoking like a chimney, glaring like a wolf, and waiting for Gabriel to show up. Then an evil grin crossed that rugged face, and he took the "candy" he'd beaten up the pimp earlier to get. Calling over the waitress, he ordered drinks for Dean, Cas and Gabriel. And into each he slipped a little pill.

"This night was going to be very interesting indeed..."

Meanwhile, a certain archangel-turned-trickster sat in a far off diner, laughing his ass off.

Oh, what prophets would believe.