Put your dreams away for another day
And I will take their place in your heart
Wishing on a star never got you far
And so its time to make a new start
-Frank Sinatra
She sat in the back corner of the library, staring out the window into the dark abyss, where she knew it was raining because she could hear the drops hit the window, but it was so dark in the library and outside that she couldn't see the heavy drops fall on the already water-saturated grounds.
It was nearly 10.00pm now, and all the other students had been ordered to leave, but she had a key to the library. Being a head student did have its perks sometimes.
So, here she sat, in a group-study area, by herself, on a dusty and rather odd smelling couch, whose deep purple and jade striped material had been worn thin from too many years of use. Her quill and parchment sat in front of her unused.
She had every intention of writing about how rafflesia hasseltii was a catalyst in the Adiuvo Corpus potion, and how she hypothesized that it could be used for the same purpose in the Amicitia potion, and be more efficient than boomslang skin (which had some ugly side effects). To be honest, though, she really just didn't care at the moment.
The only thing she could think about was him.
If she was honest with herself, she had actually come to the library to sit and think about what had happened this morning, sort out her feelings, and convince herself to start conducting her life in a more professional manner.
Lily had woken up about an hour earlier than usual this morning; with her clothes and sheets sticking to her from sweat. She had been having a very… um… interesting and intense dream. In fact, this was a recurring phenomenon. Each dream was different, but the people in the dreams were always the same: her and none other than the Head Boy himself, James Potter.
As you've probably figured out, being the intelligent reader that you are, this was quite distressing to Miss Evans. She had been having these dreams for moths and she didn't even have those kinds of feelings for the boy! And, as far as she knew, he had stopped feeling that way about her after The Incident in 5th year. In fact, you could even say that they had become friends. Unfortunately, every time she had one of these dreams, she would push him farther away. This, apparently, angered him (although, she didn't know that until this morning.)
Their friendship was on rocky ground at the moment because Lily's dreams had been happening more frequently. She had decided that the easiest way to push him away would be to get angry with him like she used to do- thus ensuring that he would stay away from her; and she would, in turn, start liking him less.
Once she could get herself to stop thinking about the compromising situation in the Common Room that the two had been in (in her dream, of course), she decided that it would be a good idea to take a shower. A cold shower.
She tried to open the door to the bathroom; but, as fate would have it, James was already occupying it.
She banged on the door loudly, and yelled, "Hurry up, Potter! I don't have all day!"
"Okay, I'm almost finished with the shower. I need to shave, and then I'll be out of your way!" came his reply. He obviously thought she was in a normal mood… boy was he wrong.
Lily sat on her bed waiting, letting her mind drift. She could hear the pattering of the shower running and James humming a few lines from a Rachmaninoff concerto… she smiled to herself. He was so surprising sometimes. Plus, his voice was sexy. There was no better way to describe it; but, then again, so was his chronically disheveled hair, and his strong hands. NO! She was doing it again! If only it hadn't been for those stupid dreams, and his stupid humming!
"James! What is taking so long?! I'm giving you two minutes and you'd better be out!" she yelled ferociously. What was the matter with him, anyway? Did he suddenly turn into a girl and need extra grooming time?
She waited for what felt like two minutes, (but was in actuality only 30 seconds) and yelled, "POTTER!" The shower suddenly turned off. "Finally," she thought, standing up to wait for him to unlock the door so she could take a shower now.
The door unlocked, alright, and then it was pushed open so hard that she was surprised it was still standing.
"EVANS!"
She started to back up as he stalked toward her furiously, still dripping, and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
Oh no, she thought, this isn't going to help my dreams.
"Yes?" she attempted to say in a rude and indifferent voice, but it came out more nervous sounding, as she backed into the side of her armoire.
"What is your problem?! We've gotten along just fine up until about two months ago. I thought we had a good thing going here with this friendship," his voice was angry and hard at first, but started to soften as he continued, and sounded very hurt, "Did I do something wrong?"
Lily couldn't stand the hurt look in his eyes, she looked to her side, and tried to think of a way to get to the door, and say something quickly so she wouldn't have to let on to anything relating to her dreams.
"Lily," he softly grabbed her face with his large and slightly calloused hands, and turned it so that she was looking at him, "please," he looked so sad and concerned, "don't do this to me, not now."
His hands slid down to rest on her shoulders in a friendly gesture. "What can we do to fix this? Tell me what the problem is, so that I can help," he nearly pleaded.
"Ja… I…" she didn't know what had come over her. She had always been a little impulsive when under stress, but this was beyond anything she had ever done before- she grabbed him and pressed her lips to his, as if she had done it a million times before (which she had, but I suppose dreams don't count when it comes right down to it, do they?)
It wasn't a very long kiss; in fact, it hadn't even left time for James to figure out what was happening or even move- he just looked at her with a stunned expression on his face.
Now, she figured, would be a good time to run to the door. Through the Head Common Room she ran, only stopping to pick up her books. Who needed to shower before going to breakfast anyway? She could do all that in the Gryffindor girls' bathroom, and borrow clothes from a friend.
She had miraculously managed to avoid him all day. Even in classes she had had the incredible luck to find herself nowhere near him (although, she suspected that he may be avoiding her as well.)
Whenever she had seen him, he made no move to talk to her or catch up with her in the hall. He had just been staring at her with this oddly familiar glint in his eye. It was the same look she'd seen after he had gently woken her up on numerous occasions in their common room after she'd been studying too hard and fallen asleep, or when they had been talking about what books they liked and she got carried away telling him about Pride and Prejudice, or when she had come into their common room ranting one day because she had just found out that the wooded area near her house was being leveled so an office building could be built there for a company that was known for not treating its workers well.
She was sure it was a look of annoyance… or something. It was odd; it made her feel slightly uncomfortable. It was almost like he was studying her.
After dinner she decided to hide in the library so that she wouldn't have to be embarrassed when she saw him in their common room. She felt so stupid. Why had she done that? She didn't have feelings for him!
She just hadn't quite figured out how to stop her mind from wandering to him.
She figured it was some sort of psychological thing- like if you tell someone to not think of pink polar bears for the next 2 minutes, of course they're going to think of pink polar bears! (Try it, I dare you.)
"Okay," she thought, "you need to stop and clear your head." She closed her eyes and concentrated on the room around her. It was dark, had that musty smell to it that all old books have. She could hear the pitter patter of the rain on the window in front of her. She could still slightly smell tonight's dinner of roast beef with potatoes, and the pumpkin spice cake for dessert wafting through the crack in the doors. It had been hours since dinner time, but apparently some aromas stuck around and haunted where you least expect them. She could hear the Gray Lady and Sir Nicolas talking as they floated by, voices fading; and she could hear the old dark floor boards of the library squeak around her as they often did, even if nobody was walking on them.
She was doing well at this, she thought. She kept her eyes shut so she wouldn't lose her concentration ant start thinking about him… and his messy hair, the way his breath felt against her face, and his large, rough hands that held her face so gently it was as if he was afraid she would break; the way his very masculine jaw was strong, but his beautiful honey brown eyes were soft and boyish, and his mouth curved up happily with his lips that weren't so full that they were feminine, but they definitely were not thin either.
Oh no, she was thinking of him again… she swore she could even smell him. She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. "Think library," she mentally scolded herself, "books, dim light, dust…"
She felt a hand gently touch her knee, and she yelped loudly as her eyes flew open.
"Are you okay, dear?" the old librarian asked kindly.
"Oh, yes, I'm fine, thank you… I was just… Well, I'll be going now," she grabbed her bag and walked slowly back to the common room.
"It's 11.45, he should be sleeping by now," she thought to herself.
