~*The Jerry Springer Show*~

Jerry: Today, we have a young lady who would like to declare her love for her boyfriend...

Audience: Oooooh...

Jerry: Relena Peacecraft!

Audience: Woo hoo! Yeah!

Relena: I'd like to tell Heero that I really love him...

Audience: Oooooh...

Jerry: Heero Yuy!

Heero walks onstage and gives Relena a big kiss.

Heero: I love you, too, Relena.

Jerry: But Heero, you haven't been *THAT* honest!

Audience: Huh?!

Jerry: ...

Heero: Relena, there's someone else...

Relena: WHAT?!

Audience: Woo hoo! Yeah!

Jerry: Bring out Duo Maxwell!

Relena: DUO?!

Duo: RELENA?!

A cat fight erupts between Relena and Duo... and Steve has to come out and separate them.

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Looks like you haven't been very honest with Heero, either Relena! Bring out Zechs Merquise!

Audience: Woo hoo! Yeah!

Zechs: Heero?!

Heero: ZECHS?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!

Once again, a fight breaks out and Steve has to leave that wonderful box of sprinkled donuts.

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Heero: You fucking bastard!

Zechs: Yah, same to you!

Jerry: But, Duo, you DO need to make sure you be careful! Bring out Quatre Winner!
Quatre: Duo, what's going on? Where's Trowa?!

Jerry: I really don't know if you want Trowa Barton out, ohwell! Here's Zechs' partner!

Trowa: Quatre?! What are you doing here?!

Quatre: What are you doing here?!

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Before you go any further Quatre, lets bring out your OTHER lover! Lets have it for Sally Po!

Sally: Heero? Relena? Zechs? What are all of you doing here!?

Audience: Woo hoo! Yeah!

And suddenly, a fight erupts between Quatre and Sally.

Sally: You asshole! What the hell do you fuckin' think you were doing with him?!

Quatre: It's not my fault!

Steve comes out and separates them.

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Before we do anything else, Sally, you need to be more honest with your OTHER lovers! Lets bring out Chang Wufei!

Wufei: What the hell are you all doing here? Sally? You and QUATRE?!?!

Audience: Woo hoo! Yeah!

Jerry: Wufei, why are you suprised? Lets bring out your other lover, Dorothy Catalonia!

Dorothy: What are you doing here?!

Duo: Hey! Scary eyebrow woman!

Dorothy: DIE DUO!

Heero: SHUT UP!

Relena: This isn't any fun at all!

Heero hurls chairs at everybody, and when Steve comes out, he hurls a table at him.

Girl: Hey! OVER HERE!

Jerry holds the microphone up to her.

The girl grabs the mike.

Girl: K. I got sometin to say.

The crowd on stage continues to fight.

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Girl: SHUT UP!

All of the sudden, everybody stops and listens.

Girl: K. Relena, babe, you are one mother fucking asshole!
As for every guy there, well, you just plain belong in a fucking mental institute, and as for the other gal, Sally, you rock! Total girl power! And you there, Dorothy, you need a fucking eyebrow job!

Heero: SHUT YOUR MOUTH LADY!

Girl: YOU SHUT YOURS!

Jerry: We have a problem here...

Heero rips out a beam cannon out of nowhere and shoots everybody. Then he hurls a chair at Jerry.

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Woo hoo! Yeah!

Jerry: Steve, get your fucking ass out here!



********************End********************

By Bon Bon