Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to Paramount Pictures, Marvel Entertainment & Marvel Studios (godsdamnit !) - though my gut tells me Clint has his own ideas about that. As for Loki ? Hel ! He's a god and a law unto himself … No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning: AU & probably o.o.c. Contains unrequited slashy feels and strong language. Not a Thor or Jane Foster friendly fic.
AN: Sequel to "Out of Reach."
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Betrayed
Clint's pov:
Shit ! I've screwed up - again ... All I had to do was keep my distance and be friendly. Nothing major. But I couldn't even manage that. He wouldn't let me ... It's kinda like he knew something was bugging me, but didn't have a clue what.
Christ ! I'm seriously fucked if he finds out he's the reason I'm acting like a complete jerk. 'N' if Thor gets wind of it ? I'm so screwed ... How the hell did I manage to mess this up ? Something that should've been pretty easy ... I thought I'd handled things pretty well, considering ... Seems like I hadn't. Loki somehow, knows I'm not myself. He's no fool. Despite the aloof, arrogant persona he shrouds himself in, he's a very smart, intuitive bastard and can read me like a fucking book. What's worse, going by the determined expression on his face and the fiercely burning curiosity in those stunning emerald eyes, it doesn't look like he's gonna drop the matter any time soon.
He can be pretty annoying and persistent when he wants something. 'N' right now ? He's dying to get into my head - only this time without any creepy mind control games. I can tell that just by the way he's been watching me on and off during the evening. His gaze is steady. Piercing. 'N' he knows that I know that he'll know if I'm lying to him.
Like I said, Loki's a smart guy. Terrifyingly smart. The kind of smart that makes Stark, our resident genius, look like a fricking imbecile. Loki isn't afraid to use his brain or let anyone else know it. That's another reason why I find him so very attractive. His intelligence and creativity draws me to him. Seduces me ...
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Jeez, I'm dog-tired ...
This was a bad idea. Why the hell did I stay, instead of going back to my room at the Tower like I'd originally planned ? I'm a sad, lonely fool hanging around, getting slowly wasted and depressed as I watch the man I love in his lover's arms.
Tony's currently propped against the bar, surrounded by his usual harem of very attractive, adoring women. All of them clinging to his every word and vying for his attention. Tash and Maria are currently holed up in a booth with some city slickers and a pitcher of Mojito. Bruce's sloped off outside for some air. 'N' me ? I'm getting real loaded on beer and Jack D. as I'm forced to play gooseberry to the immortal lovebirds at my table. 'N' it's making me jealous as hell. Never mind sick to the bottom of my stomach ...
I found myself getting quieter 'n' quieter as things got even more heated and intimate between them. Thor tucked a stray lock of hair behind Loki's ear and Loki smiled at him. His striking green eyes shone and were full of love. And it made me wish more than anything that I was the one on the receiving end of that smile. That I was the one responsible for making him feel that way ...
Thor unsteadily rose to his feet and gave Loki a dazzling smile. "Be back in a while, Loki. Just need to ... y'know ?" He jerked his head in the direction of the men's room and slowly began to weave his way through the crowded bar.
I slowly closed my eyes and with a heavy sigh began to massage my aching temples.
"So, Hawk ... are you going tell me what's eating you ? Or do I have to guess or trick it out of you ?" Loki drawled lazily, his eyes fixed intently upon me as he leant back in his seat.
My eyes flew open at the sound of his husky voice. He reached for his shot of Stolichnaya and knocked it back. I couldn't help staring at the strong column of his pale throat as he swallowed the ice-cold vodka. The bastard hadn't a goddamn clue what he was doing to me. Even watching him drink was really turning me on. The raven-haired god was so sexy he should carry his own health warning 'cause he was creating serious mayhem with mine.
"Nothing's bugging me, Trickster, I swea- "
He arched a sceptical eyebrow, "Really ... ?"
"Really."
"That's a load of bullshit ! And you know it ..." Loki accused softly, then moved with the speed of a striking rattlesnake and trapped my wrist with his right hand. My breath hitched at the unexpected contact and my startled eyes collided with his steady emerald gaze.
"I'm just dead on my feet, 's all ... Too many missions in too little time's fucking killing me ... I figure I'm getting too old for this shit ... Guess I should cut dow- " I began to feel distracted by the heat of his hand and the way his callused thumb idly made tiny circular patterns upon my skin.
He slowly shook his head and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "No ... it's more than that ... Tash was saying earlier that something was playing on your mind. That you had a wild hair up your arse."
"Tash imagined it. She knows shit ..." I replied gruffly, wishing that he'd back off and leave me the hell alone. His touch was wreaking havoc with my senses. My heart was racing madly and I could feel my blood coursing through my veins, creating a pool of heated desire within me that left me painfully hard.
Loki smirked. "Oh, I doubt that. Tash's rarely wrong about these things. If she says something's got you wound up tighter than a coiled spring, then I believe her. And going by what I've seen tonight, I'd say she's right ..."
I began to feel overwhelmed and confused by it all. Being interrogated under the influence of alcohol wasn't a good thing and I started to get angry. I turned my wrist slowly, then suddenly jerked it free from his grasp and glowered at him.
"Just drop it, Trickster, 'cause I ain't in the fucking mood to talk ..." I hissed, then reached for my glass of Jack and swiftly knocked back the amber-hued liquor, before rising unsteadily to my feet.
"Hawk ... ?"
I turned to look at him. His brow was furrowed in confusion and his ever-observant eyes were unusually compassionate.
"I mean it, Loki. Forget about it. Just let it go, yeah ? 'N' let me do the same ..." I growled, fully intending on heading to the bar for some more whiskey and to steadily drink myself into oblivion.
"Listen, Barton - Clint - don't do this," he pleaded softly. "Who or whatever's making you feel like this isn't worth it- "
I snorted. Oh, the irony of it ... If only he knew ... Fuck ! What am I thinking ? That's the last thing I want him to know ... As soon as everyone's back here, I'm gonna tell them I'm leaving first thing tomorrow. I can always use my workload as an excuse, 'cause I can never tell them the fucking truth, can I ?
I reached down for my lighter and Marlboros and shoved them into the back pocket of my jeans. Then with the over-exaggerated care a drunk always takes, I headed off towards the john, constantly aware of Loki's curious gaze fixed on the back of my skull.
XXXXX
It's kinda weird how things - situations - can change within a matter of minutes. Or even a blink of an eye. 'N' all because of someone's actions. Whether they're carefully considered and planned or just goddamn reckless and selfish ...
How the hell was I to know that within five minutes of talking with Loki, that our lives were going to be changed ? Drastically ...
I didn't go straight back to the bar. To our booth. I just couldn't face Loki. Or handle any more of his questions. 'N' that's how I found myself in the dimly lit back alley behind the bar, lighting up a cigarette, desperately trying to compose myself before going back to the others ... Before I bit the bullet and actually told them that I was leaving ... 'N' wasn't coming back. Had no intention of coming back. Ever.
I stood there quietly in the shadows, took a deep drag from the Marlboro and gratefully savoured the taste of nicotine in my mouth.
Then I heard the backdoor open and the sound of two pairs of feet stumbling outside and stagger, laughing, towards a dark corner. I thought nothing of it. After all, it was a given. Many people hooked up in bars, got loaded and then went outside to get their load off and these two were no different by the sound of it.
To be honest, I didn't care what they got up to. Didn't give a fuck. It was none of my fucking business if they wanted to get their rocks off. It's a free country and they could do what they hell they liked ... So long as the cops didn't catch them doing it in a public place ... Like I said, the light was dim, I hadn't a clue who they were and from where I stood, I couldn't make out their voices clearly. Just the odd husky laugh and the sound of the wire fence rattling as a body was over-enthusiastically pushed against it.
The backdoor open again and this time I heard a pair of footsteps that I'd come to know as well as my own. They were relaxed, yet full of purpose and reminded me of a stalking panther. Full of power and grace.
Loki stood silently in the middle of the alleyway, pale skin gleaming beneath the moonlight, his stance relaxed as he paused to light a cigarette. I was about to slip back in, without him seeing me and flicked the butt of my Marlboro onto the sidewalk, when I noticed a sudden tension in his broad shoulders. His head jerked up and he began to walk towards the area I'd seen the other couple head for earlier. Thinking this couldn't be good, curiosity got the better of me and I quietly followed him.
I don't think either of us were prepared for what we saw next.
I could make out Thor's tall, muscular frame leaning against the fence. His shirt lay wide open and his jeans and pants were around his ankles. He threw his head back and began to moan loudly as passion began to consume him. I looked down and to my horror, saw who was responsible for giving him such pleasure. Kneeling in front of him, giving him head was a woman. But it was no ordinary woman. Oh, no ... it happened to be the one broad that Loki loathed with an intense and relentless passion.
Jane Foster.
That sight alone was enough to sober me and I began to feel anger. Ice-cold rage on Loki's behalf. How could Thor be so fucking stupid ? How could he cheat like this ? Betray someone who loved him so deeply ? So passionately ? Someone who was totally faithful to him ? And for that scrawny, self-absorbed, patronizing know-it-all ? I mean, fuck ! The bitch wasn't even pretty or even had a sense of humour worth crap, for crying out loud ...
"Oh, yes ... Just there, svass ... Fuck ! Don't stop, Jane. Never stop ..."
Thor came shortly afterwards with a guttural cry, his powerful body trembling uncontrollably in the aftermath of his climax. He dragged Jane to her feet, his large, callused hands roaming possessively over the small woman's skinny body, before claiming her mouth with a bruising kiss.
"When are you going to tell him, Thor ? ... About us ... ? You promised me you'd sort it. You've had six months to tell him and I'm not sharing you with him ..."
Jane wrapped her arms around his waist and began to press feverish kisses to Thor's sculpted, golden torso.
"I will, Jane, I promise you ... I'll do it soon. You know I love you, little one ... That I'd do anything for you ... I just need time, that's all ... I don't want hurt him. Fuck ! You have to understand, Jane, Loki and I ... Norns ! We've been together a long time, been friends since we were children. He loves me- "
"Don't my feelings count then ?" the mousy scientist whined plaintively. "I fucking love you, Thor ! You can't string me along like this. It's not fair ..."
Thor sighed, then nestled drew her close to him. "I know, little one. I'm not leading you on. I need you to be patient, aye ? It's you I want. You I want to be with. Not him. You know that, my love ... It's just ... I owe it to Loki not to hurt him. I don't want to lose our friendship because I've fallen for and want to be with you- "
"Well ... that's just too fucking bad, Thor, 'cause you just have ..." Loki quietly stated with an icy calm, watching the pair of them through narrowed, dead eyes.
Thor spun around quickly, shock draining his handsome face of all colour. He broke away from Jane's embrace, zipped up his jeans and cautiously approached Loki as Jane hastily re-arranged her skirt which had ridden up her bare thighs. The Trickster coolly flicked his cigarette butt onto the alley floor, his lithe body screaming with barely controlled tension, then slowly turned to walk away.
"Loki ... Trouble, wait !" Thor closed the gap between them and placed his right hand on the shorter man's shoulder to stop him from leaving. Loki immediately shrugged it off and began to walk back towards the bar. Thor again tried to hold him back and this time, Loki spun around to glare at him through wounded, rage-filled eyes.
"Six months, yes ? Six fucking months you've been cheating on me, Thor. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve that ? I may be a lying bastard, but I've always been faithful to you. All the years we've been together and not once did I look at anyone else. Don't believe me ? Ask Volstagg or Sif. I know I'm not their favourite person ... Hel ! Sif positively hates my guts ! But they would swear under oath that I've always been true to you. Fuck ! Why don't you have a word with Bruce or Stark as well ? They'll say the exactly same ... All the offers I've had over the years ... propositions ... even phone numbers ... and I fucking ignored them because I thought we had something special. I wasn't going to risk losing you because I loved you, you stupid bastard ... and I believed you loved me too. More fool me ... Maybe I should've taken up some of those offers. You wouldn't have given a flying fuck if I'd fooled around these past few months, would you ? And that's because I'm yesterday's news. Nothing ..."
"Loki ... don't ... Don't do this to yourself, brother. I swear I never meant for you to find out this way- "
"Now why am I not surprized ? Thought you could have your cake and eat it, didn't you, Thor ? No wonder you were so damn eager to stay here over the past six months ... Why tell me anything and rock the damn boat ? It suited your purpose to keep me in the dark, didn't it ? That you were only too quick to betray me with that pathetic, little whore and I was none the wiser for it ... That I was such an ignorant Jotun fool. Well, fuck that ... and fuck you too !"
"Loki, listen to me, please ? Just give me a chance to explain- " Thor grabbed the normally composed, slighter god's wrist to stop him storming off.
"Why ? Why should I, for mercy's sake ? What's the fucking point ? You had your chance to do that six months ago ... And now you've been caught red-handed I'm supposed to give you a fair hearing ? I don't think so. No way ... it doesn't work like that. And get your filthy hands off me. Now ! Before I drop you ..."
Thor made no attempt to release his hold on Loki's slender, seemingly delicate wrist. The next thing I saw was Loki draw back his right fist and strike Thor hard in the face. He didn't hold back. And considering the vast difference in both of the gods' physiques, he sure could throw a good and very accurate right hook. Thor immediately released him and stumbled backwards, his hand flying to his face and coming away covered with blood. His nose was bleeding freely and his lip was split.
"And you ... you two-faced, hypocritical bitch," Loki turned on Jane, his husky voice chillingly quiet which somehow worried me more than a yelling, furious Loki, "you think this is all about you ? What you want ? How you feel ? Well, it isn't ... You knew Thor was my lover, my world. That he wasn't free to be with you, but that didn't stop you going after him, did it ? A real woman, a woman with class and intelligence would've given in gracefully ... but you wouldn't know about anything like that, because you're nothing but a filthy, deceitful, conniving harlot ! Well, as of now you're welcome to his cheating, lying, sorry arse. You're welcome to each other. As far as I'm concerned, Thor, we're through. You're nothing to me ... I never want to see or hear from you again ... Either of you. You may as well be dead to me. Y'hear ? Dead ..."
"Loki, please ..." Thor muttered, his hand tentatively rubbing his jaw. "Don't do this ... Don't throw away years of friendship because of thi- "
"Me ? You're accusing me of throwing everything away ? Unbe-fucking-lievable ! You're unbelievable, Thor ... D'ya know that ? Wasn't me that threw anything away. You did. When you started whoring six months ago. When you betrayed me. Abused my trust. Cheated on me. I could forgive you, if it had been Sif. She's someone worthy of Asgard's future king and would make a good queen. Hel ! I could just about accept it if you'd been tumbling that crazy bint Amora, or that simpleton Lorelei. But this ? This whining, pitiful excuse of a woman ? I don't think so ... So don't you dare dump this fucking shit at my door. You were the one that fucked up - or should that be around ? Not me !"
And with that remark, Loki stalked off like a wounded panther, brushing past me as I leisurely came around the corner. Well, I didn't want him to think I'd been there all along, did I ? 'Cause I sure as hell ain't suicidal. For him to think I'd always known that they'd been cheating on him behind his back. He didn't even acknowledge my presence, just strode away full of silent, pent-up rage, pain and coiled aggression, back into the bar and slammed the door behind him.
That's when Thor and Jane realized I was there ... and that I was beyond furious with the pair of them.
"Clint- "
"Y'know what ? Forget it ... I don't wanna know, 'cause I ain't fucking interested in your pathetic excuses ... What the pair of you've done to Loki just fucking stinks. It's unforgivable …" I snarled, venom and contempt dripping from my voice.
All I could think of was the tall, lithe enigma who'd stalked off to lick his wounds. Of an elegant, sinewy frame that struggled valiantly to hang on to its composure; pale skin which, impossibly, appeared drained of all colour due to shock and those mesmerizing, shrewd, intelligent eyes glistening with unshed tears which held a wealth of pain and vulnerability.
I turned on my heel and stalked back to the bar, hoping to find and somehow convince Loki that my intentions at least were sincere. That I cared and only wanted to help and support him. To be there for him. That even though he was unaware of my true feelings for him, of how much I adored him, I was more than willing - even though I desperately longed for more - to be his friend ... or whatever he needed or wanted me to be.
FINIS
