"What's the matter with you?" She screamed in anger as the girl stood, staring into space. Katie tried to ignore the screaming, as she always did. It would be over soon and then she could dream up another fantasy on her laptop of love and family. "Nothing." She replied, doing her best to hold back the tears. She was strong, but yelling always scared her so badly. "Something's obviously wrong! You never talk to me! You try to keep everything a big secret all the time, like you're shutting me out!" Her mother acted as though she were terribly hurt. No words escaped the girl's clenched jaw as thoughts swirled like a hurricane inside her head. "You never talk to me!" She thought angrily "How can you say that I never talk to you? You feel guilty, that's why you're asking. Quit yelling at me! God, please, just make us a normal family again!" "Go to your room." Her mother commanded coldly. The girl welcomed the escape from the needless argument. Once her door was shut, she sobbed hot tears of anger, bitterness, but most of all, love. She couldn't tell anyone about these fights, she couldn't let anyone think badly of her family. Besides, if no one knew the truth, it would be easier to act as though everything were okay. She didn't need pity. Though Katie had escaped, the horror continued in the next room. Another battle over Erin's boyfriend and how she needs a break from Bobby because she's spending to much to with him. Katie shook with exasperation as doors slammed and tears fell. Another unsettled battle, another soaked pillowcase. "Hey, I'm home." Katie announced as she bounced down the stairs to her basement, which doubled as a family room. Erin and Bobby lounged comfortably on the couch watching a movie as the sixteen-year-old plopped into the computer chair, signing on-line to check her mail. "Where were you last night?" Erin asked after a moment of normalness. "I stayed at Tipsy's. Why?" Katie answered, wondering why her sister would notice her missing, seeing how Erin was never home herself. "I really needed you last night." Then she turned to Bobby. "She wasn't even here. She missed the whole thing." "Why did you need me? What thing?" Katie turned in her chair, a concerned look attacked her face as she thought of horrible things in her mind that could have gone on while she was gone. Where was dad? She hadn't seen him, even though she had just walked in the door. "Me and Bobby were under the covers in Constance's bed watching a movie and dad saw us and freaked out. As if we'd do anything..." Erin made light of the situation not that it was over. "What happened after that?" Katie ventured. "He sent Bobby home. Then, we started fighting. I have bruises on my arms and legs from when he threw me up the stairs. Mom busted my lip." She pulled out her bottom lip for her sister to look at where the skin had split. Why did she feel the need to bring this up? It killed Katie that everyone acted so...normal after a fight. "How did she manage that?" "She punched me." Erin said as if Katie should have guessed it. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I called Bobby to come pick me up." Erin turned back to her movie. Whatever cheer Katie had when she walked in had diminished into pure pain. Why was there so much hate? Constance hadn't spoken to Erin, her own sister, in over two months! She dwelled on what Erin had told her until it made her stomach ache. That night, when Katie lad her head down to go to sleep, she thought of the times when they were a real family. Her and her two older sisters were best friends because they moved often and didn't have time to create bonds with other kids. She had considered her family close-knit. What happened? Then, the smiles dispersed and the fights appeared clearly behind her eyes. The time she had walked in circles in the driveway, singing "Jesus Loves Me" to drown out the scream from Constance and her mother inside. The image of her mother ripping at Constance's hair in a fit of fury, then hyperventilating from screaming so much. A cup full of ice water flying at Katie's head from Constance's hand and being thrown in the shower and having Erin pound her head on the brick wall over and over. She remembered pulling a knife on Constance and even a gun on Erin. How they turned it into a joke for kids at school to muse over, as if it were just a once in a lifetime occurrence. All those battles, and so many more, drenched Katie's mind with grief. They were all horrid, only increasing in agony as the years went by. They were considered the perfect family with the perfect life. Katie always wore a smile and held her head high, never hinting at her fears. They housed friends who had awful parents, pretending as if they were different. What about Katie? Where could she hide? Who could she tell? Nowhere, no one. Only last week Constance and Erin had battled about how Constance wouldn't acknowledge Erin's existence and Erin didn't respect Constance's rights. Katie had sat in the living room, after Constance had stormed out of the house and sped away, listening to Erin sob in the shower because her oldest sister had disowned her, unaware that she could be heard. The last memory that flashed before her eyes was, by far, the most painful. Her mom kicking her out of the house and then her reply, which she still regretted more than anything. "You don't love me anyway!" She had screamed. That was it, her dad came stomping in her room after her, like a mad man. He threw her onto her bed. "Don't ever say that! I've given my whole life for you!" He breathed with such anger, Katie had never felt his fury so much. She covered her face, praying for it to go away, to wake up. "Don't act like I'm beating you!" She remained clenched up in pure horror. A shower of closed fists rained over her body as she begged her mother, God, everyone, for mercy. "Mom! Please, make him stop! Stop!" Her repeated pleas left unanswered. She was left alone, curled up in a ball on her bed, as her parents went up stairs to finish another argument with Constance. "Go to bed." He said quietly, inside ashamed to be seen. He hadn't meant to hurt her, she had hurt him. He loved her. Katie understood. Katie kept quiet. "What are you thinking?" Constance exclaimed, not letting it drop. "You just beat my little sister!" Katie covered her head with a pillow, blocking out the turmoil that persisted above her. She gasped for breath, overwhelmed by tears and pain and a broken heart. She vowed she would never snitch on her family that night as she heard soft cries and the darkened silence of grief that filled their house after midnight. Tears now warmed her reddened cheeks as she lay in bed, reminiscing. She was tired of it. She was sick of the pain, the yelling, the constant war. She fell asleep mid-thought, a thought of finally telling her best friend the truth.