Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, no infringement intended. I do, however, own all mistakes that you might encounter while reading this fic. I also own a lightsaber.
A/N: This is my first fic, I hope I live up to my own expectations... And yours.
She went back to the dark place, that small corner she'd turn to whenever she needed to feel alive. Whenever she wanted to feel anything, really, because pain was the only sensation that reminded her she still lived on Earth. She turned to her last resort and went back to her memories. Lucid, vivid memories of all she had with Arizona.
She remembered one of her last conversations with her, when she had been bragging about how she was a great catch.
-"If someone loves you enough to trace constellations across your skin, and also loves you enough to notice that your birthmarks recreate the Ursa Major, I'd say you keep them". Callie smirked, caressing her lover's pale skin.
But Arizona didn't say a word, she chose to let her hot tears stream down her neck and say everything she felt, with just one salty taste. She only hoped to give her Calliope an ocean, she was willing to cry a whole sea if she needed to. She was overwhelmed and couldn't keep her emotions at hand. Arizona Robbins was always one to wear her heart in her sleeve. But the moment she saw the beautiful brunette at her most vulnerable point, she knew those eyes were made for her. That instant, where their lips met, she knew she'd keep her around. It was a promise she made to herself: To never let go.
The flashbacks would not stop. They would continue to attack, leaving her helpless.
Calliope Iphigenia Torres decided break free and abruptly arose from the bed, as she finished the last thought. And she went against herself, the only way she knew how. If she wanted freedom, she had to face her biggest sentence. Entering the bathroom, to later get ahold of the razor, Callie dove into her obscure emotions. She'd lost her. And it was her fault.
The voluptuous curves of her body were hidden under the over-sized tee she opted for the evening. Her cinnamon skin, once bathed in sunlight and delighted in her caramel appearance and flavor, now looked dull; it represented the lack of interaction with the outside world. Her luscious black hair, once wavy and alive, looked abandoned and dead; she had decided to cut it eventually, she imagined that someday she'd get the hunger for a new look, something that would prove how she had readjusted her life.
The razor slipped from her fingers and she could slowly feel her sanity creeping back into her body. She shook the negative thoughts out of her body and decided against it, imagining Arizona would not like to see her multiple scars and recognize herself in them. It just wasn't who she was, she knew people viewed her as an audacious, bold, provocative and badass orthopedic surgeon. Callie walked slowly to the side of her bed and sat on the edge, knowing it would take a while for sleep to come. She pulled up her covers and grasped her pillow tightly, singing quietly to herself. "Ojalá que la luna pueda salir sin ti." She fell into unconsciousness, determined to forget Arizona.
A loud thud woke her up. The clock read two in the morning and she mentally kicked whoever knocked on her door at such inconvenient time. It would take her years to fall back asleep now. Her chocolate brown locks were pulled back into a thick braid, leaving wisps of curls framed around her face. The braid bounced against her back as she reluctantly walked over to her door, not bothering to peek before opening it promptly.
The first thing she saw were the blonde locks that adorned her face and cradled her features, while eyes as blue as the sky eyed her intently. As if they were trying to tell her something that would make up for all the time lost. Erica Hahn stood in her doorway, with a frown on her face and Callie could see it was from the lack of response on her part. She couldn't lie to herself, her heart still expected Arizona's return.
Erica opened her mouth to speak, but nothing audible came out. Callie's heart constricted in her chest, remembering when she saw her skinny frame for the last time on the hospital parking lot. She began to think about how "good of a lesbian" she was now, cursing herself afterwards when she let a smirk appear on her face. But it didn't seem to matter anymore, not to Arizona, not to the ocean blue tides that parted from her eyes and left her standing in the middle of the airport with nothing to go back to. She suddenly realized that Erica had begun talking and she had missed the first part of her speech.
-"And I understand, but you have to understand me too" Her voice quivered. "I know this isn't a reasonable hour to just come to your house and beg you to talk to me, but I couldn't go anywhere else. I ran away from you once Callie, but I won't do it again." She stated firmly.
Callie could only stare. She wished it hadn't been Erica the one to realize she'd miss out on her, she wished it had been another voice calling her name, claiming her, taking her breath away, giving a new meaning to her own name. But it wasn't Arizona. It'd never be her. And Callie knew it, deep inside, she knew she'd been dumped, like a sailor leaves the girl waiting for him at the docks. Arizona had sailed on another ship, on another mission, with a different destination. Maybe they weren't meant to be.
Erica stared deeply into Callie's absent eyes and found nothing. Annoyed, half-expecting a different response, she turned to leave and let out a quiet sigh.
-"Stop. You don't have to go, you've come this far, I guess we could talk for a second" she heard after her. She could detect something in Callie's voice ... Was it fear?
She didn't really crave Erica's presence but at this point, she needed something or someone to put her out of her misery; Callie couldn't stand the thought of going back to an empty bed, to her everlasting loneliness. She saw Erica turning around and lowered her gaze, feeling embarrassed. She took two steps back, allowing her in, when she felt a set of foreign lips crashing onto her own forcefully, pushing her against her door. Without giving it too much thought, she tangled her fingers in the infinite blonde locks; they were, after all, all she ever knew.
Review!
I hope you enjoyed this. I will just say this: just like Shonda, I believe Callie and Arizona are made for each other. Take a deep breath.
Translation: Hopefully, the moon will be able to come out without you.
