A/N: Hello! I've had this fic written for a while, but it wasn't complete because I thought it wasn't good enough and gave up on it. However, I went back to it recently and tried to finish it up as best I could. This originally was written to have a happy, hopeful ending and no sadness, but... well... that didn't turn out as planned. I hope you enjoy it anyway! :)
WARNING: This fic involves hallucinations. If you are uncomfortable with this, Ice Cream and Stars is probably not for you.
Barry finds her on the roof.
She's standing near the edge with her back facing him, arms crossed and shoulders hunched slightly. Her face is tilted to the sky, as if she's looking for her inner peace among the stars.
He almost doesn't disturb Caitlin, almost leaves her to have all the alone time she wants, all the space she desires. But then Barry remembers what happens when someone is left alone for too long and decides that he will stay. She doesn't have to say a word if she doesn't want to, but he's hoping that his being here will keep her out of her head.
He always feels that way whenever Iris is around, even when he's lost in thought. She'll be in his peripheral vision, or maybe he can't even see her at all, and yet her close proximity, the feeling of her presence in the room, sends soft whispers of her echoing through his mind. And those soft whispers, those small breezes passing through the inside of his head that somehow perfectly capture the complete essence of Iris, they keep him from slipping too deep into the darkest part of his brain - the part full of "what if"s and "I should've"s, the part where he keeps the mental list of everybody whose death is on his conscience.
But this isn't about Iris, as much as he enjoys the thought of her. Caitlin is the one who needs support now. And to be honest, he's more worried for her than he's ever been. She's been through so many traumatic experiences just in the short time he's known her, yet she somehow manages to keep going, to get up every time she's knocked down. He remembers the angry, depressed state he fell into when his mother had just died and his father was sent away. Without Iris and Joe, he probably never would've recovered, now that he's thinking about it.
He keeps moving his feet forward until he's standing next to her. She didn't react to his silent approach, he notices, though she's usually one of the jumpiest people he knows.
Glancing over at Caitlin, it suddenly becomes evident to Barry that she's shivering. That her arms aren't crossed, but wrapped around herself in an attempt to keep warm.
Now that is something he can fix.
He's gone in, well, a flash, the sudden gust of wind and electricity in the air caused by his exit the only proof that he was there to begin with. And then he's back in another flash with two lawn chairs and a blanket. Caitlin finally moves, turning around to watch as he sets them up next to each other and sits down in the one next to hers. She sits down, too, and gently takes the blanket that he's holding out to her from his hand. After wrapping it around her shoulders, Caitlin leans back a little in her chair and looks up at the stars again.
Seconds pass. He's not sure how many, but it feels as though they're dragging their feet and flying by at the same time.
"Thank you."
The response comes so quietly that for a second Barry questions whether he heard her say anything. But then more words follow.
"For the chair," she continues at a louder, more normal volume, though her voice still wavers. "And the blanket."
"You're welcome."
Their eyes stay fixated on the stars until a thought comes to Barry. He turns to her with a small smile.
"Just out of curiosity, what's your favorite ice cream flavor?"
Caitlin doesn't say anything for a while, though she appears to be mulling over the question in her mind. Finally, she answers, "Vanilla."
"Just vanilla?"
A pause.
"Just vanilla."
The smile widens, and he's off again with another rush of wind, only to return moments later holding the two spoons and two small containers of ice cream. One is rocky road and the other vanilla, the latter of which Barry hands to Caitlin along with a spoon.
Then they sit there in the stillness of the night, eating their ice cream and taking in the view from where they are. It's only when Caitlin looks over at him that the atmosphere of peace shatters as a sudden gasp escapes her lips and the vanilla ice cream carton falls to the ground, the noise startling Barry into turning his head to face her.
The amount of pure fear he sees in her gaze completely throws him for a loop and causes a knot to form in his stomach, only for it to worsen by a thousand times as she whispers one single word:
"Zoom?"
Before Barry can react further than putting down his ice cream, Caitlin's breathing increases rapidly, and she continues, sounding more afraid than he's ever heard her before.
"No. No! You're not supposed to be here. Barry - he promised -"
"Caitlin, hey, it's alright. It's Barry, not Zoom." He reaches to hold her hand, but she pulls away with a shriek, causing his worry to turn into panic.
You can't help Caitlin if you're not calm, he reminds himself. Breathe. Focus. Be strong for her.
He tries again, this time his voice steady and firm. "Caitlin. You're going to be okay, I promise. It's me, Barry. Not Zoom. He's not here. I'm not going to hurt you, alright? You're safe."
After repeating these phrases several times, Caitlin's breathing stabilizes and she seems to recognize him for who he is.
"Barry?" she whispers, her eyes shining with tears.
He smiles. "It's Barry, Caitlin. You're safe, I promise."
She gets up from her chair and wraps her arms around him, burying her face into his shoulder with a sob that echoes through the darkness. Barry embraces her tightly as she cries, murmuring words of reassurance into her ear.
Caitlin is the one who needs support now.
